Friday, August 01, 2014

Loving an Angry Person

I used to think I had a temper... until I met my husband. Man, he is explosive. He doesn't get angry at me or anything that I do, but when he's angry, I try to calm him down. So like, I don't get any opportunity to throw a temper tantrum anymore, I kinda miss it... hahaa
Anyway I always say to him "Hulk Smash!" not just because of his Bruce Banner temper, but because it's like he doesn't know his own strength, and his grip is often too tight. He always breaks stuff in our house because he just handles things too roughly (not out of anger). So sometimes if I know something is delicate, I will say, "You don't Hulk Smash ah... " before I hand the delicate item to him. lol

Oops, I digressed. 

Loving an angry person. 

They say that you shouldn't let angry people get away with bad behaviour. If you put up with their anger, then that is what you will get.

But have you honestly tried talking sense to someone in a fit of anger? It's scary and a waste of breath!

Understand that the angry person in your life probably learned their anger patterns from their parents. Children pick up how to deal with their emotions by social and observational learning at home. Anger is just a bad habit to deal with the feelings of frustration because things are not going as the person wants.

If you're in love with an angry person, making changes in the way you deal with their anger will bring about consequences both good and bad. Only you can decide if these ideas will work for you or not.

1. Be calm
When you interact with an angry person, watch your own level of anger when your partner is upset. Some people inadvertently "egg on" the angry person by being sarcastic, or nasty back at them.

2. Don't criticize
Watch the type of complaints that you make that threaten his self-esteem such as statements of blame that start with "You always…" . Criticism and sarcasm about another person's behavior is not productive. Save your energy for problem solving.

3. Get the timing right
Don't try to reason while they are still angry, and remember that people are more irritable when they are tired or already frustrated. When they are calmer, look them in the eye and tell them that their behavior was unacceptable.

4. Set boundaries

Define your limits such as, "I'm not willing to watch you yell and hurl things across the room. I've got to go. We can talk about this when you calm down." Then walk away and leave them on their own for a while.

It is important to note, that if you are living in a physically abusive relationship, you need more help than any tips I can give you. Get professional help or just get out of it. Hugs.


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Click to read - The Sex Bucket List.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Protrend Color Lenses Now in Singapore :)

For a long time now, I've noticed many people from other countires using Pro Trend Color contact lenses in their instagram pics and I love the look. The colours and designs are very natural and soft looking. 

Then one day, I saw my friend Dblchin Clara in Singapore using the lenses on her Instagram pic and I was like WhooHoo!! They have them in Singapore!

ProTrendColorSingapore sells the lenses are $19 per pair. They are monthly disposable lenses. They also have a promo right now- Buy 3 get 1 free if you like the ProtrendColorSingapore Facebook Page.

They arrived by mail protected in bubblewrap. Love the girly packaging.

In each box there are 2 little sealed bottles which contain a pair of lenses and there is a plastic lens case for you to store the lenses.
Oh my! So cute! It's important to dispose and change lens case frequently for hygiene purposes so it's great that each pair you buy from Pro Trend Color comes with a case.
I chose 3 different designs of lenses. Here's a look at what each of the actual lens itself looks like. I chose these 3 designs because they do not have an ultra obvious dark limbal ring (limbal ring is the dark ring of colour around the iris), so they look much more natural and not harsh looking. And I always get Gray coloured lenses, I think it suits me better... you can try brown, green, blue, etc. The number 6.50 is my degree (yah I know, damn high)... but you can order them in your own degree or even in Plano which means no degree at all if you have perfect eyesight and just want to have nice coloured lenses. 
I like SECRET gray, it's the most natural style and colour that I have tried. 
Not too obvious or vivid, yet it does make my eyes have a touch of colour and look bigger.
ALLURE sky gray is more of a bluish gray. It's the lightest shade of the 3 pairs I chose. 
The colour feels almost translucent... so beautiful.
Here is a pic of my natural eye colour on the left side, and Pro Trend Color's ALLURE sky gray on the right, so you can see the difference. I do like just my natural eye colour as well, but sometimes a new colour can make my make up look better, or just give my face a refreshing change. Apart from adding colour, these lenses make your iris larger as they have a 14.5mm to 15mm effect once worn.
MELODY gray is very sweet. The pattern actually has tones of light blue and pinkish beige mixed in with the gray. I can't decide which design I like better actually....  They are all so pretty!!
In terms of comfort, these are better quality and more comfortable to wear than most of my monthly big eye coloured lenses. Of course, you cannot sleep in them but for wearing throughout the day, I found that there wasn't any irritation or friction. I tend to have dry eyes in aircon environment, but just eyedrops solves this problem easily. I also hate it when poor fitting lenses slide around my eyeball but I don't have this problem with Pro Trend Color lenses. 

You can order or ask questions by messaging them through their FB page.
You can also check out more pics of the lenses on  ProTrendColorSingapore's Instagram.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Shaking Loose That Stage 5 Clinger

The stage 5 clinger is the ex that you just cannot shake loose. They get overly attached, way too fast and then won't move on once the relationship fails. You've been nice because after all, you feel bad about breaking up with them but you're getting tired of them playing that emotionally fragile card over and over again to keep you in their grasp. It's time to move on.. here's how:
1. Be honest.
Cliche as it may sound, you have to be cruel to be kind. No more sugar coating, just deliver the truth. Masking the truth in a bid to protect their feelings will only give them false hope and a bigger disappointment later on. Some times it is you who is the culprit, keeping them clung on because you cannot just tell it to them straight that it is O.V.E.R.
2. Stay away.
Give your ex 3 calls after the break up, after all some people need to contact you to ask questions, shout, cry, etc... it's all part of getting closure. There's no need to specify the 3 call limit, but mentally take note of it. Once  your ex uses 3 calls up, you can stop answering (and don't feel bad about it), don't meet up with her. Just stay away so they can move on.
3. Don't share.
Do not tellyour ex about your life and dating even though they claim to want know about it because they are now your 'friend'. Your ex is very likely going to obsess or worse still, jeopardise your new relationships. Your ex is probably stalking you on Facebook anyway, so there's no need to tell them about your life personally.
4. Don't try to get stuff back.
Tell them they can keep it or throw it out! A stage 5 clinger often devices clever ways to lure you back. Once you meet up, it's never just to return your stuff.... heck it was never even remotely about those objects in the first place. You're just going to have a tougher time pushing them away.
5. It's ok to be hated.
When I was single and dating, hate and anger were the best catalysts for me to move on after my break ups. When you hate someone you see the bad side of them (more than the good), this is reality. Why would they want to stick around or cling on to you, asshole! So yes, let them hate you, don't feel bad about it.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Mmmm Cranberry Yogurt Floats :)

So far I've been sharing with you how I use my Entertainer App for big items like Free Flow Prosecco brunches and spa massages. While the Entertainer is great for saving money on those high value items ... it also has plenty of deals for the little things you come across daily.

Whenever I'm in a mall or different neighbourhood, one of the first things I do is search my entertainer for deals near me. For example, if I'm thirsty and want to buy a drink, I might as well get another one free right? :)
I was at Downtown East in Pasir ris the other day to see my mum and I used my Entertainer at The Yogurt Place. 
I love their Yogurt floats, especially on a hot day. The frozen yogurt is not too sweet, and paired with the cranberry juice it is so refreshing. And healthier than like having a fizzy drink too!
The regular price is $4 each. But I got 2 for $4 with my Entertainer app. So one for me, and one for my mum :)
Try the Entertainer for 1 month. A single month membership is priced at SG$19 and you can access all the deals for restaurants, bars, leisure, body, kids and services for one month. 

My readers can use promo code @hollyjean69 and get the one month app membership at SG$15 (20% off). This one month membership is not available to the public, so you can only get it through this special link. And key in the discount code  @hollyjean69 to get it at Sg$15.  

At the end of August, the one month mobile membership will go back to being sold at $19 instead of $15, so do buy it before then!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Crème Simon Launch in Singapore!

I was at the Launch of Crème Simon in Singapore on Friday. Their mobile pop up store is at Knightsbridge on Orchard road until 28th July, near the Abercrombie store so you can check it out when you're in town. 
The brand was started in the 1860s in France by Joseph Simon. It is made mostly of natural ingredients, a concoction of seven carefully selected flowers and plants with incredible healing properties. 
I love how their products smell and am amazed that it's not perfumed, it's the natural smell of a concoction of 7 different kinds of flowers. 
I'm falling in love with many products from this French brand. 
I'm especially please with their Crème Universelle which is a lightweight moisturiser that is based on the original heritage crème popuarised for its ability to heal acute dryness and skin irritations. Truly a universal cream because I can use it on my face, body, on chapped lips, on my cuticles, all over really!

I've started using their sleeping mask too. It's so pampering. I apply it on my face before bedtime and just leave it on through the night. Sheet masks are so last year. 

Crème Simon is tailored to the unique conditions of your climate. Which is great because in our humid conditions, I love a cream which does a good job moisturising but doesn't feel thick. 
Check out the Creme-Simon website to buy products online or to see where their mobile store will be moving to next. By the way, if you're purchasing online at their e-store, you get 10% Discount when you use voucher code - 9BGHF7P .

<3
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One of my favs is this #OOTD . A comfy and pretty kimono top. It'll be on sale at KyriaQ from 8.30pm onwards (today).
Such a pretty powder blue-gray colour and Japanese blossom type print. 
It is great as outerwear to dress up an otherwise boring casual tank and shorts. And great for our weather as well because the material is light and the loose cut is airy.
 KyriaQ does bags and accessories too.
My readers enjoy 10% off any regular priced items at www.KyriaQ.co , just key in hj10%off  at checkout. They have free shipping for all Sg orders, and low rates for international shipping. They just launched a bunch of new clothes and bags, do check it out  :)

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P.S.- Just wrote in the Love & Sex column on MyFatPocket this week- 8 Ways to Turn Your man into a Bad Boy in the Bedroom ... inspired by that Jeremy Meeks mugshot that went viral a while ago. Did you hear the latest news that he was murdered by his wife after he was released from prison. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Women Hate Uncertainty...

Men! They court you, they take you out to dinner, they charm you, they make you fall in love with them... and then the progression mostly ends there. With a big question mark. ?
Naturally it takes time to decide if a person is right for you, but a lot of men think that the most important thing is the chase. Once he has you hooked, he will feel as though the objective has been met and the game is over and won. Now he can sit back, relax and think nature will just take it's course in the progression of the relationship. 

This is when all the problems start. Some people mistake it for the end of the 'honeymoon period' in a new relationship.... but what it really is... is the end of tangible progression.

So to the guys reading this... you may be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship. You see, women do not like uncertainty. We (and our friends) will start to question why we are in the relationship if we don't know where it's going. We might panic and assume something is wrong. We might start over compensating and turning on the pressure too much to the point that we smother you. Or worse still, interrogate you regarding your feelings towards the relationship. Uncertainty is the reason we let the crazy out of the bottle.
Here is what you need to do to get rid of uncertainty (and prevent the crazy):

1. Communicate your intentions. Of course, it's not all up to you, the purpose of communication is to find out what she wants in this relationship too. Is it just casual? Or does she expect something exclusive? Are you on the same page? Is there a compromise?

2. Give it a timeline. Do you know for a fact that you don't intend to settle down until you have been working for a year? Or perhaps you are planning to study overseas for 3 years so you  are not looking to get serious about marriage until after you return to Singapore? Craft out a timelline and make it known to her so she's in the loop and can make informed decisions rather than have her keep guessing what's going to happen. And worse still, act on misinformation.

3. Don't let it stagnate. You don't want things to settle in a relationship rut. Life needs to keep moving and your relationship should be fluid. There's no need for large milestones all the time, but small steps in progression will keep her sane. For instance, introduce her to your circle of friends, then to your family, invite her to your best friend's wedding as your plus one, then plan a weekend away together, give her the spare house keys. The key is constant progression.

Uncertainty causes unnecessary hurt and pain between partners.... and if you've ever wondered why the relationships you've had in the past all ended with because the girls slowly turned psycho on you.. questioning your every move.... well, it's all down to the uncertainty you have caused her to feel! If you're serious about the girl and want it to work, make the conscious effort to minimize uncertainty.
P.S.- I just got back from Bangkok. Was there for the lookbook shoot for the HollyJean X ClubCouture 2014 collection :)  Stay tuned for behind the scenes, and I'll let you know when this year's collection is launched!