Friday, March 02, 2018

Letters to Myla Rae- First Day of Playgroup

Open when- You're about to embark on something new.
My Dearest Myla Rae,

Maybe you're about to go to University... or take on your first job overseas... or are thinking of starting a business venture.

You can bet your last dollar, I'll be as nervous as you are, every step of the way. I cannot help it, I'm your mother. I hope you know that you will go on to achieve many great things with each momentous first step... but make it an informed and calculated step.

Yesterday was one of your first 'academic' milestones. You started a proper playgroup at a Preschool. OMG got uniform and all.
When Papa took us there yesterday morning, you were all excited with your little school bag, I think you didn't know where you were headed but thought it's some animal farm or fun excursion with us lol.
But when we got to your Apple Tree preschool playgroup venue, and bought your uniform, and put it on you, I think you were a bit overwhelmed. Which 2 year old wouldn't be. 
Here you are sanitizing your hands, and getting a temperature check before entering the classroom. I've already taken you to this classroom a couple of times before in the past weeks... for you (and myself) to have a feel of things. But now, shit just got real. lol.
You're the tiniest and the youngest of this 2015 babies batch, so I was apprehensive (I still am!). It's also the reason why I didn't start you in January, I just felt you still weren't ready for it yet. I'm perfectly happy to have you at home with me (forever!!!!), but the time has come for you to mingle with other toddlers, you need exposure and interaction with others. That's why we decided to start you with a 2 hour playgroup.
Please be brave, little one but be careful. Have fun learning new things and making friends. I know it's overwhelming and such a new environment for you. You may not have cried yet (and you didn't have any adverse reaction when I put the uniform on you the second day before heading to school), but it already pains me to see that scared and worried look on your face. I hope in the days to come, you will start to open up at playgroup and smile.
 Your very first creation.
And today was your second day. It went much better than the first. You were more confident with the art work. You joined in the song and dance (albeit very shyly... so not your usual show off dancing self). Oh and you were delighted (like seriously damn happy) to be given a snack (lemon cream biscuits lol) to take home.

That's all for this letter, not a profound one with gems and nuggets of wisdom from me but I just wanted to log this in so you can see how very very very far you've come. Also, my baby girl, don't forget the people who were there for you from the very start of this learning journey. We are so vested in you and want to see you do well in life. We love you so.


Friday, February 23, 2018

Red Flag Revelations Part 3

Ok here is Part 3 of my Red Flag Revelations. (Click here for part 1 or part 2)

This was me at that phase

This Fairy Tale (bahahahaha) started out with an excellent first date. We met for juice at the Marriott (so no alcohol clouded judgements here). We spoke so much and listened so keenly that hours passed and what was meant to be a quick juice date stretched to him asking me to join him for some Peking duck since it was already dinner time (it's one of my favs and it came up in conversation)...

And after stuffing our faces (there seriously is no dainty way to eat Peking duck rolls man, you just got to enjoy it), we were still keen to be around each other... so our date extneded some more to a marathon of Gavin & Stacey (what are the odds finding such a quirky similar interest in such sitcoms). And then we finally called it a night, and I went home.

The weeks which followed had us spending a lot of time in each other's pockets... and more pigging out... hikes at Labrador... more sitcom marathons. 

And thennnnnnnnnnnn.... "I have herpes". 

NO NOT ME LAH. Him. He told me he has herpes. 

Fortunately we never had sex. And I'm thankful he told me about this before we could get intimate. But still, I called everything off.

I mean, herpes is for life leh! 

After some weeks of pondering, I started feeling bad for leaving him over his STD. His ex GF had it and never told him... and then he contracted it. Poor thing right? 

And then I started Googling how contagious it was and how to avoic contracting it... like if we were married and wanted kids.... then cannot use condom then how?  Etc etc etc...

and guess what????? I gave him a chance.

Yup. So we started dating again (but not sex ah). For a few more weeks.. before he left for a friend's wedding overseas. Even while he was away, we were in contact daily, and he was making plans for our next date even (I can't remember what it was supposed to be). 

But when he returned from his trip, he didn't call or message me. He went SILENT. 

And finally he said that we had to break up because while he was away he didn't feel like he missed me enough, so I'm not good enough for him. 


Good riddance to you and your herpes. lol

- Fin - 

Thursday, February 15, 2018

He Proposed!

It shouldn't have taken me by surprise. After all, we had been talking about a future together. And he's made such great effort and unimaginable progress with Myla Rae since he met her. Who would do that... for me??? There's not many people I would be comfortable leaving Myla Rae with for the day (she is a rambunctious 2 year old who has no danger awareness) but he's most definitely one of them. (My mom is the other one, and that's about it for now)
It started out as a regular date night, which we try to have at least once a month, you know, go somewhere we haven't been to yet, just the 2 of us... and feel like a regular dating couple lol. Apart from date nights, our outings have always been family oriented, which is great too, but I do look forward to our date nights.

We went to The Clifford Pier at Fullerton Bay Hotel. I didn't think anything was out of the ordinary. He mentioned this place several weeks ago, saying he had a discount voucher so let's have a date night there soon. Then last week he said ok let's do date night here because his voucher expiring already. (I did think, eh why this voucher so fast expiring one. Lol. I didn't know that it didn't exist! Sneaky Sneaky). The couple of weeks leading up to date night he was so busy "at work" with events and meetings after hours. I didn't complain but inside I was a bit sad lah, cos hardly get to see him. But actually he was busy arranging everything, including the engagement ring. I'm amazed at how long this guy can hold a secret for lol. If it's me I would have surely let slip.
We had Foie Gras for the starter, which wasn't even on their menu but he said they could get it done for me, so OK. It's foie gras, my favouritestessssss dish in the world. I wasn't going to question how.
He wore a shirt I got him. For my main course, I chose Laksa. Quite unglam, (but delicious). And it's not something I would order like on a date because messy, but our date nights are like for enjoying and stuffing face, not for pretenses. However, if I had any idea he was going to propose after this course, I would not have chosen Laksa. Plus I really took my time and finished the whole huge bowl some more *smh*

All this while, he was actually nervous, plus the wait staff and restaurant manager were giving him signals and cues... but I honestly didn't pick up on any of it. They really worked it out like a master plan of cues and signals ok... for instance, he had a bottle of wine, and our waitress (her name was Princess) topped up his glass and then said "we're almost there, sir."

And I looked at the bottle and it was more than half full and I'm like wtf, the bottle still so full. But actually it was the signal for him to know that our friends have all arrived and finished their dinner and are now seated outside the restaurant by the waters and that my dessert was ready. So he can proceed with the proposal very soon.

Actually another sign I should have picked up on but didn't... was that while he was away at the toilet (he must have made like 3 toilet trips during our dinner, he said his stomach pain lol. But actually when he left our table he went to speak to the manager to check on stuff, and his friend coordinating our friends group outside, etc etc etc). Any way, during one of the times he was away "in the toilet", I asked Princess for the dessert menu. I wasn't going to order without my partner laaaa.... I just wanted to look at the choices first because I'm greedy like that. But the waitress politely turned me down by saying, the night is still young, take your time. Something along those lines. And I looked down at my Laksa which  was halfway through, and thought ok, I must seem like a damn greedy pig hahaaaaa paiseh.
I ordered the thick French toast with condensed milk and peanut butter ice cream. In retrospect, I should have gone for a daintier looking dessert (of which there were many), I didn't know my engagement ring would be in it!

So here's the scenario. Dessert is served... there's live music, the singer sings At Last by Etta James (which some time ago we shortlisted as our wedding song in the future). Princess explained that there is a way to eat this dessert... you pour the condensed milk over your french toast, then you crack the chocolate ball, then you start eating. I said ok.

So... I poured the condensed milk over the french toast... and I started eating. Bahahahaa.... the singer looped the song around one more time. The staff standing a discreet distance away (behind me so I could not see) were all wondering ehhh what's happening, it's not going as planned!? And there's my sweetheart Adamson next to me, suggesting that I should crack the chocolate ball... and in my head I'm like nah not feeling like chocolate at the moment Baahahaha... I even passed the spoon to him and said, "you wanna see what's inside the chocolate ball, you crack la" cos like I'm busy eating french toast with peanut butter ice cream and condensed milk man. Trololololol.

Finally my curiosity got the better of me, and I cracked it. But I did it so gu niang like, making only a small crack and some gold coloured edible beads flowed out. Then I said oh, it's like your mum's (I was referring to the silver coated chocolate beads his mum has in an Eiffel tower glass bottle). And I was about to go back to eating my french toast, when he suggested cracking the chocolate ball open fully. And so I did (all this while I still totally didn't suspect anything at all). And out popped this beautiful diamond ring!

And then he went down on one knee (although I've been married before, this was actually the first time any man has gone down on one knee)... he said that he would try his best to make me happy, and that he loved me, and stuff like that which I can't really recall because I was looking at him, and I could feel the heat build up behind my glassy eyes (like when you're about to cry that kind), and the whole moment just seemed surreal. Like whoooshhhhh....

(I think later today I'll ask him to tell me again all the things he said.)

Then he ended it with, Will you marry me?
Of course I said Yes.
He slipped the ring on. We kissed.
Then some staff and guests at the tables near us offered us congratulations.

Then he brought me outside to finish our dessert by the river. And when I stepped out... a second surprise. Our friends and my brother and his wife were there. 
His friends who have over the course of the last few months have become my friends too. 

Plus really sweet of him to include my close friends Farizan and Lauretta... and my brother and Sheng juan to share this special evening. (Thank you all for coming).

I really hope for the best and that life takes us where we want it to. It's quite scary, i won't lie. Taking the plunge again. But you really do learn from your mistakes and life experiences and it really does make you stronger. Plus it feels so right. And when I have my hand in his, I feel so loved and secure. I want to do right by him and be his pillar of strength too. 

I'm not asking for anyone to support this or give us blessings. But I just wanted to share this very special and pivotal moment of my life and my journey to that happily ever after ending. It's there. We'll get there. This feels like the right path.

(Happy belated Valentine's Day and happy Chinese New Year everyone)

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Red Flag Revelations Part 2 !

It's 5 am now and I can't sleep so instead of scrolling through my facebook feed while in bed and trying to fall back asleep, I thought I might as well get up and get my day started. Which is a good thing I did, cos once Myla wakes at 8am, my day is pretty much consumed with her, some errands, cooking prep and housework. So I have a good quiet few hours to blog and also get my MyFatPocket column drafts done.

Here's Part 2 of some of the most epic downers I experienced in the past when dating.

(click here for Part 1)

This is a little story I'd like to share about A.

Oh man, this dude tried to play me. Sure, this happened at a time when I was Parallel Dating... but at least (I feel) I was always upfront about this. It's quite different from someone (him!) who says they're only in to you (gush gush gush) and totally not interested in dating anyone else... but actually in secret, them is scumbag. lol.

It was a very fun start. We met through the internet. He was a new expat in Singapore and reached out to me as a friend who could help ease the transition. Fair enough. I even made it clear I was dating some other people. 

But he very quickly switched gears into relationship mode.. or at least was trying to head that way. Which then made me sit up and notice, and think hmmm hang on, maybe there is something here. As it progressed, I even started taking him to my (blog) work events which I had lots of at that time.

Dude, if you still wanted to play the field, you could have left things as they were, instead of being all fake and wanting exclusivity. 

Oh oh oh, yeah ok I get it now, I think you just thought you could get me to stop playing the field and give you exclusivity... while you continue flapping your dick about that field since I'm no longer on or even near it so I won't know. pffft... you need a lesson in covering your tracks, I dated some who were masters at this lol, I'll hook you up.

The first time a red flag was raised, he messaged me on a Friday evening saying he had just found this expat club meet up for drinks and networking thingy... in town. Bit odd because since we met, we would have drinks in town practically every Friday evening. And he didn't ask me to come along, or suggest we could meet up for supper after.

And when I mentioned the non invite (while he was already at the session), he said, "Oh babe, I didn't know you were not doing anything tonight and could have come. You can come if you want."

But I didn't go, because... so last minute and I live in Pasir ris, it would take me an hour to get there and it's already like 11pm. 

Well anyway, the next morning we were headed to Batam, so we went to the ferry terminal... but missed our ferry and couldn't get another one that morning (Good!!!). While seated at the cafe in the terminal having breakfast, he kept looking at his phone and smiling.

I (genuinely) thought it must be some funny meme so I asked what it was that was so funny. And he said, "It's just a girl from last night."


So it turns out, she's just a new 'friend' he made from the expat networking thing. And she's Singaporean Chinese (why on earth she attending an expat networking session?). Then he also qualified that she's not pretty (oh so that makes it ok).

And the cherry on top... well he pulled out my camera which I lent him, and showed me a picture he snapped of her on the dance floor. Can't really see clearly, because funny strobe-ish lighting... but by no stretch of the imagination was she like a walrus looking woman or what.  -_-

OK great, now he has a new 'ugly' female friend whom he texts and smile while he's out with me. Let's just wait and see how this plays out.

Thankfully it didn't take long for the next (and final) red flag to surface. The following weekend, he was out for Friday night drinks again... it was a work thing. And I made my own plans, because he told me before hand he had this work drinks thing. So... all good.

And then he texts me at like 11pm, quite early. To say he's back home already and going to sleep. So nice ah this guy, go home so early plus text me some more to inform me (I never asked for him to do so btw).

The next day... I'm at his service apartment (he hadn't found permanent dwelling yet), and he was still getting ready to go out. So I waited by the doorway (he was almost ready anyway so like no point I go right inside to have a seat). But in those very few minutes, a receipt on the sideboard table next to the front door catches my eye. It's very long, and sitting right by his wallet and keys. I pick it up and look at it. It has some cheena club sounding name on it like Dreamz something or Paradise something.. (I don't remember anymore la). And the time stamp on that receipt was 4am. So he was there.. in his sleep?!


I google it later on and it was some dodgy KTV place. The kind with hostesses and GROs who sleep with you cos lots of men on Sammyboy forum was recommending it. (Is this sammy boy forum thingy still around?)

Well, anyway, that was how that one ended. Hate getting played. Ugh! 

P/S- Last i heard from him, he's married to a Singaporean Chinese girl and they have 2 kids. Actually they got married quite soon after we stopped dating (I think it was within a year). I forgot to ask if it was the walrus from the expat drinking session. Lol! Kidding, no hard feelings :)

Saturday, February 03, 2018

Red Flag Revelations Part 1

Just a bit of light hearted sharing. I've long been over all of this because it happened many years ago when I was single and dating, but I was just thinking about some of the real downers I experienced in the past when dating.

You know when you first start to date someone, there is so much mystery but you start seeing all the potential in that person/date/relationship. And then more often than now (actually almost every fucking damn time lol), you find out something about your date that is a big red flag. It is sudden potential obliteration.

Here is part 1 of 3... of my 3 most horrible red flag revelations I experienced in the past. Part 2 and 3 coming in the next few days.

I have no pictures of the actual dates to share but I came across a photo of what I looked like exactly during that period. I remember this was also a phase of too heavy eyelash extensions. Tsk!

Part 1: Sebby
I just made this nickname up on the spot to protect his actual identity. Our first date was at East coast parkway, at a cafe where we had drinks. He shared with me that first date that he used to be very fat (obese) and he had lost a lot of weight recently through exercise.

He showed me his past photos (really damn fat). At first I thought oh no, he lost so much weight so quickly, with his clothes off he's going to look horrible with excess skin over hanging and flapping etc. Bahahha so shallow of me I know.

But I still gave him a chance ah. Cos conversation was good and he came across as a nice person. So he invited me to go see him at some triathlon or something. And I went. And was pleasantly surprised to see that eh actually his body very nice and fit ah. Not loose flappy skin kind.

He impressed me, transforming from a morbidly obese man to an actual Iron Man competitor (that takes a shit load of determination and willpower). He was a gentleman and had a kind disposition. All great right??? That would make you giddy with anticipation wouldn't it?

kwa kwa kwa... here come the red flags shortly after.

He invited me to his apartment for dinner. He came to pick me up, he said to bring my (precious) dog Lola whom he took to very well (wah still racking up the points ah).

At his apartment... 2 downers.. one is small matter la. He cooked using a lot of Thai fish sauce... I don't like cos I find it smelly. But no biggie la.

Then the second downer... he was showing me around the apartment. One of the rooms was a little girl's room... pink and with dolls etc. And I said, awww, it's sweet that you have a room for when your niece visits. Cos he did mention during our previous date that his sister has a child.

And he said no, it's his daughter's room. He's married.

What the Fuck la!

........... but, he explained to me, that his wife and him have separated. She went back to Thailand (she's Thai) with the daughter (she was around 3 yo then). AND... AND ... AND... the reason they split was because he finally found out through DNA testing that his 'daughter' wasn't actually his.

I later saw a photo of the girl, she looked 100% Thai. This guy was white. So his family and friends kept hinting that the kid not his. I don't know why he waited so long before finally testing (either I can't remember the reason or I forgot to ask).

So ok lah, this kind of story. You cannot write a person off right? It's kind of poor thing even. So I decided to keep dating him.

Couple of dates (or so) later, he was away from the table (maybe toilet or went to order food), his phone was on the table, face up. I saw a message come in. From his ex Thai wife. And it didn't sound like they were separated. More like we miss you, see you soon dear, type of message. -_-

I didn't ask him about it. But I started getting skeptical about this guy. Then after this date we went back to his apartment to edit some photos on his laptop. I can't even remember what photos they were lol ( I suspect something like some athletic competition photos). Then I wanted to transfer to his laptop and his place was close by. So we went, he left me in his study room with the laptop... I uploaded the pics for him. And then I couldn't stop myself from snooping.

I didn't even have to dig deep. Not like hidden folder or what. His browser history... THAI GIRLS XXXXXX, Thai Cream Cheese Pie, Sexy Thai women pussy. SO MUCH PORN, and ALL THAI.

WTF is this. Not normal right!? I have nothing against the Thai perse, but isn't it alarming why he's obsessed with everything thai porn and his "ex" wife happens to be thai too.

So yes, that was how it ended. I shut the laptop down after doing the necessary photo work etc. And said goodbye like nothing was wrong. And just stopped seeing him...

.... because ewww.

-the end of part 1-

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Ayana Villas, Bali

A short while ago we had a holiday in Bali and stayed at the Ayana Villas. Finally I've gotten around to blogging (life is still a whirlwind) about it so you can consider this place for your next holiday.

I feel it's perfect for couples.. like for a honeymoon. We brought Myla Rae with us and it was still very enjoyable, so don't strike this place off if you have toddlers/babies, it's good for families too. I don't feel this place is like for a big group of friends type holiday, even though the villas are huge and the grounds sprawling, it's still more of an intimate setting and feel. Plus I feel its a bit too pricey for a bunch of friends type holiday... that kind just share some cheaper villa ... (probably closer to cheap eateries and booze also, within Ayana the prices of food and drink is Singapore 5* Hotel prices)somewhere else in Bali.

Getting there- Plenty of flights heading to Denpasar Bali, so just choose within your budget. We flew AirAsia, and Myla flew as a lap infant (her last Free air ticket before she turned 2!), still comfortable and spacious enough, plus the flight is really short anyway.

You can then take a taxi or pre book transport through the villa, it was around sgd 40 for one way from the airport to Ayana via their villa's private car. I'm not sure how much the taxi would have cost (but traffic is very heavy ah).  It took us between 40mins to an hour to get to Ayana. Both Adamson and Myla had a nap.

Once you're on Villa grounds and have checked in, Ayana Villa guests have their own butlers and buggies (driven by the butler, you cannot anyhow take and drive yourself lol)... so getting around the resort (to the beach, restaurants, Rimba, Rock Bar, etc) is very convenient.
The villa's living room area
We booked the one bedroom ocean villa, but were upgraded to the Cliffside villa. We went during low season (and also shortly after that Bali volcano eruption, so business hadn't really picked up yet in Bali). The deco is generally Balinese style, each villa is self contained, you can lock the main doorway to your compound at night. It felt very safe.
The bathroom
OMG the bathroom. I forgot to take pic of the automatic toilet, the lights go on as you step in and then the toilet seat cover is automatically raised as you step towards the toilet bowl. The whole 4 days we were there, I never had to touch the toilet bowl with my hand at all lol. There was also a standing shower which we used instead of the tub. Oh if you're travelling with a toddler, you can request for some rubber bath mats for the shower (cos it's marble and super slippery, Myla totally could not stand on her own in there when it's wet).
The master bed is a huge King size, they set up a pack n play type cot for Myla. There's two TVs but we never used any lol. A huge walk in wardrobe ( I LOVE).
A private pool that's a good size for us and Myla, we didn't use the main pool at Ayana... because lazy haha. 
There's a gazebo thingy which is where we spent chilling out (and stuff...) with drinks and room service desserts hahaha  ...most of our nights after Myla sleeps (at 7pm).
 Villa guests get special treatment when it comes to the Rock bar, you're guaranteed a reservation when you want one. And your butler drives (buggy) straight there, you skip the queue and we got a nice day bed type seating arrangement with a great view of the horizon. We really enjoyed our time there.
 We only planned on a few drinks there because we were worried about Myla's bedtime. But she was having such a good time dancing to the music and waving at other guests. By 7.30pm she got tired, and she lay down to sleep on the day bed we were seated at! WAHHHHH  we couldn't believe our luck. I mean this place is quite bustling, but she didn't wake up at all. So we managed to order dinner and enjoy it there.
There's also a private beach at the resort, your buggy takes you to one point and then there's a huge drop down the cliff but you go down in a 'sort of' lift.
Another part of the resort you should explore is Rimba, it has no villa accommodation there, only hotel rooms but there are loads of facilities and the main pool at Rimba is fun! Villa guests can choose to have their breakfast (inclusive) at Ayana or at Rimba.  I much preferred the modern setting and food variety/layout at Rimba. 
One pool is adults only (so we could not go), and the other pool is great for kids because there are floaty stuff for them to get on and a huge spiral water slide.
If you want to head out of the resort, just ask for a taxi. Jimbaran is around 30 -40mins away (quite comfortable ride). There's loads of places on Jimbaran Bay to have fresh BBQ seafood right on the breachfront. After some research, I came across a place called Warung Bamboo. Good choice, food tasted great, they're not pushy, and it's not over priced.

There are many choices of eateries there (but many places have jacked up tourist prices though), all beach front, and have these mariachi type buskers who entertain from table to table, for a small tip. Also not pushy.

Oh and a tip, while you're out at Jimbaran, stock up at a minimart or supermarket (drinks, snacks, diapers, smokes, etc etc) because not only is it expensive at the resort but also very little variety (they don't have big shops there).

Feel free to ask me any questions if I missed any info out :)