Friday, February 18, 2011

My Life And How I Live It

I know I have haters out there who are quite vocal and comment multiple times (sometimes pretending to be a whole different person, and agreeing with the "person" who commented before.... LOL)...

But you know what? It doesn't matter. I am happy the way I am. And I am happy with what I do. And if I can inspire just one person out there, to be who they want to be, to take chances, to love with all their heart, to not hold back and to pick themselves up each and every time they fall ... then it's all worth it. I can put up with the hate. I can put up with the criticism. It doesn't matter.


For those who send me supportive emails, and share your stories with me, thank you. I appreciate that you care, and that you feel connected. But do not worry about me, or feel angered by negative comments from my haters. It is all part and parcel of this life, and I am cool with that (doesn't mean I have to agree with all negative comments, of course).


My Life and How I Live It:

1. I Do What I Love
I have always loved writing, especially about stuff close to my heart. Being a quiet and introverted child, writing was my outlet, a way to express myself.


I am finally doing what I love (not only do I write, but I have flexibility and creative control of what I do as well) but, obviously, the route to where I am today was quite a winding path.


Pursue your passion. I know that’s not always possible at all times, for many reasons – but don't let that reason be fear. At some point in your life you too will get some opportunity to change your life and do what you really want, and you should take that chance.


If you do what you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.


2. I Know I Cannot Change People

When I split with GB, many of my friends who had met and liked him (yes, he was a good guy), were shocked at the news. One of my friends exclaimed, "Again??!"


My best friend said that I shouldn't have split because maybe in a year, he might change his mind (about marriage and kids). I don't want to hang around someone who isn't right for me, hoping that he will perhaps, one day, change. To me that is setting myself up for a bigger disappointment years from now. No thanks.


In the past, I used to always make the mistake of trying to change people. Although, the right person can bring out the best in someone (I truly believe this)... people, in essence, are and will always be the way they are. Accept, embrace, love.. but know what you're getting into. If not? Just let it be, wish them well and move on.



3. I do not exist on this earth to please everybody
I admit, I find it hard to say no. And I often want to help everyone out in any way I can. But this is draining. Some friends are toxic, some other people just want to walk all over you. I think it's important that we all accept that we cannot please everyone. So go easy on yourself sometimes.


If someone wants something done their way, then tell them to tow their own line.


4. I still believe in Love
... and destiny. If it wasn't meant to be, then there's no point in forcing it. If you are meant to be together with someone, then the universe will conspire to bring you together.. it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.


Hugs for everyone out there...

(wish I were magnanimous enough to give my haters hugs too... but I'm not. So, sit there and scowl all you want... but know that this girl is Happy. My spirit may not be unbreakable, but you sure as hell didn't leave a dent on it. FYL. LOL)





--------------------------------------



OK now... Shopping Updates For you:

1. Oh Summer -10%Discount code: hollyjean
Key in during checkout if using creditcard or paypal
If ordering via email, just mention 'hollyjean'
Promo period 18 feb - 31 mar

2. MillyWalker is having a Tag & Win Contest. 5 rings to be won, no purchase necessary.
Check their site for more details.
While you're there, check out their Post CNY sales - 50%-70% discount.

3. LuxeCiel's Collection 9 launched today :) . Love the tri coloured toga dresses, and off sholder sweater tops. Modelled by meeeeeee.

4. NoireBelle - This month only, Buy any 3 items and get 5% off each item. I saw some gems in their self-manufactured collections!

5. SundayNine - 5% off all previous Wardrobes + Free Hair Tie when you purchase any items from Wardrobe #14: Sweet Treats . Must see their Shredded Front Top! Modelled by my friend Joanne! Nice!

6. VanillaLollies - By popular demand, backorder for 2 Way Pastel Tube Dress/ Skirt in Violet. My readers get a $1 discount for this item, just quote " Holly Jean" to enjoy this offer.

7. Angel'sLoft - Join their FB page, and get 15% off Collection 1. And by being their FB fan, you will receive $2 off the next collection.

8. TheGoldDust - Is back open for business after the CNY break. Make your brazilian wax appointments now. ( Brazilian wax for men now available too)

32 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:39 am

    Awesome post :)
    Just think about it, if you were a guy, would the comments have been so vicious? Not that it matters... Sticks n stones n all that jazz
    Think this is the best post I've read thus far.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:10 am

    Yup. I may not agree with everything but everyone has their own way of living people who are posing negative comments probably has some sort of issues themselves. But think about it, sometimes you goto credit them for bringing readers in ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jenny6:36 am

    i think it's really brave of you to put your life out there. there will always be sad, jealous, mindless haters. but as long as you're doing your thang, and happy. that's all that matters. life's too short to care.

    take care! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. CeLestinA8:46 am

    Another well written post which is from your heart indeed. Yes, u cant please everyone. Me being your faithful reader [since 2008 :)] may not agree with u fully nor condone everyting u do BUT somehow i jus love reading your blog & wil continue to do so. Why? becos i find u so different frm te rest of te bloggers.

    u choose to live a public life. u choose to say watever tat is in yr heart. u choose to b down to earth & vocal. tat as readers, we hv to give it to u. Come on, not many bloggers are able to take in & handle those nasty, hurting comments frm readers (who however stil choose to read yr blog!!)

    Its jus not easy. 2 thumbs up for yr passion in doing wat u yearn for in life & i deeply believe, u wil be blessed with the man in your life. And u knw wat, u sure have impact me in one way or another, te positive way i mean

    Hugs : )

    ReplyDelete
  5. aeryn9:31 am

    i like your principles! (:

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10:07 am

    These haters don't matter...they are keyboard warriors only anyway...i have never commented in your blog before but i just want to say that i love it and am inspired!

    ReplyDelete
  7. silent reader says, "Likes!" :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11:37 am

    w00T! big hug for Holly :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:13 pm

    how holly label some gals who go to attica as "poor sluts" ( her actual words), it's the same how some blog readers view her hopping from 1 white guy to another relentlessly as ..... ( insert whatever word)

    this makes her blog more interesting as she doesn't mind her love life being in public view. it's her life, her blog. it's entertaining so she also has to face whatever comments that comes her way and brush them aside. like she said, it's from people who only know her from her blog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12:37 pm

    hiya Holly,

    wow. very inspirational and well thought-out post. very true indeed about life's principles. Yeah I agree with u that we shouldnt be too hard on ourselves and that we need to love ourselves, our presence on this Earth is not solely to please other people. Very well-written babe. I love this post of yours so much, I love the way u write too. Agreed with Celestina, you're very unique amongst the local bloggers. I find other bloggers generally too local n singlish compared to yours. the way u write is very sophisticated, Holly. your english is just fab. I've been hooked on your blog since I stumbled upon it last year. Your writing has indeed got me addicted. U were definitely a great English teacher back then.


    I also love the fact that you dont live an extravagant life to be happy. People who are filthy rich, have lots of money and who live high-end lifestyles doesnt mean they are happy people. Human beings are never contented, it's never enough. When one sets a certain expectation of something, he/she will expect more. Nothing will last a lifetime (I'm talking about materials).

    It's also great for girls like me that u update us on fashion. Your style is versatile.

    You're just so lovable, Holly!

    Wish u all the best in your new relationship ^.^

    Ynez.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey Holly :) nice post, very real. Thought it was very brave of you to quit your job to blog. And dump the men that were not right.

    Sure, i've also given advice to you, and still am. But of course its just my opinion. Everyone has them.

    Glad the comments don't hurt. Think your readers ultimately care about you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. HJ,

    You are wise to ignore those who hate.

    You have grown more by being a loving person.

    You show great courage in taking your own path!

    David

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sarah9:45 pm

    Just wanna say that some of the nasty comments may not be from tge haters, but simply people who can't agree with your way of life and belief. It's so true that it's your life but I believe your readers have the rights to voice out their views on the things u do. Unless u lock your blog up or u'll always be subjected to different views and comments. Not agreeing with you doesn't make them haters. No? Dont be paranoid.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sarah9:57 pm

    You can't expect a particular someone who takes at least half a year to get over a relationship to cheer for your new relationship after breaking up with GB for around a month. It doesn't make sense. They are just commenting according to their preference and lifestyle. And come on, it's no big deal whether they reveal their identities or not. Just it matter? U are so childish. Dun expect positive comments all the time. And what for dedicating sucha long to clarify your thoughts. As a reader, we know what u are like. Sometimes it's good to know how others feel about you and the things you do. U're so shallow. Indeed, maturity doesn't come with age. I'm 10 years younger than you btw.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous12:32 am

    nobody hates you as u put it. it's just that u wanna make your blog public, details of your life and relationships public then be prepared to have opinions and views that oppose yours. if you can't take it, shut down your blog, lock it up, dont post anything personal. it's up to your descretion.

    the way you label readers who have different views from u as "haters" just shows how much u love playing the victim. u choose to approve the comments and make your blog public so why act like you're being attacked for no reason?

    if you feel that your life is yours and nobody should haveb their say in it, disable the comments!

    dont get why u love acting like a poor little puppy getting bullied.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous12:35 am

    to add on,

    i don't hate you cos i don't know you personally. i've been reading your blog for a few years and honestly felt you were an interesting and genuine person from your writing.

    however, the recent months have come to prove my impression of u wrong. u are a rather bitter person who likes to play the victim.

    i don't hate you, i just don't like the way u handle the comments and opinions of others. neither do i agree with ur promiscuity. but that doesn't make me a hater.

    ReplyDelete
  17. the more successful you are, the more critics you have :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. *LIKE*

    I absolutely love the way you have with words.

    ReplyDelete
  19. great, pleasing everyone is a tiring and impossible task anyway, and the more you do it the more you have to keep doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. U go girl!! For living yr own liFe, making yr own choices.. Oblivious to those f*^%# morons :) *Hugzzz*

    ReplyDelete
  21. to sarah and anon12:32.

    i publish all comments exactly becos i think my readers r entitled to their own opinions. what kind of hypocrite blogger would i be if i only approve the good comments and erase all the bad.

    i welcome constructive or fair criticism. i agreed (within the comments section ) tht for some ppl takin 1 month to move on frm a 5 mth rship is too quick... but for me i found it slow actually.

    but calling me a whore or slut or saying with much glee tht i deserve for no man to want to be with me (after they read my blog!?? seriously though, weak men who arent intelligent enough to see theres more to me than a blog.. wont appeal to me in the1st place,so no worries).

    well anyway.. i consider those comments hate. and so do other ppl btw... its not abt me playing victim.

    so what if ur 10yrs younger? you think ur actually wiser? i got news for u... ppl see thru ur fake concern. if i reveal IPs.. my readers will hv a grt laugh seeing u prentending to be multiple haters (and yes i do consider someone who "criticises" multiple times within the same post but pretending to be a whole diff person.... i wld consider tht hate)

    tht was normal criticism btw.. now here's some Hate:

    ur a sad no life bitch sitting there commenting anonymously. no wonder no man wants you . (or if ur attached) then no one wants ur partner thts why. crumbs for the trash . Take a good look in the mirror.. what do u see? it's a common ugly fuckin face. u have no character. i have to get someone to pinch me awake everytime i start readin yr comments becos theyre so long n repetitive they put me to sleep. but i suppose i cant blame u for it... u poor thing... i m concerned for u actually... i worry... abt ur mediocre existence. :( <3

    p/s - i am not saying ur the one who called me slut whore etc. i am just clarifying what i consider hate comments. But yeah... Guilty much?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Holly, I've been following your blog for quite awhile now. I love reading your daily entries, & I even went wayyyy back to start reading from your first post.

    And I have to say, it's very brave and admirable of you, after so many failed rs, so many ups & downs, to still believe in Love. Really, everytime you fell down, I'll look forward to seeing how you'll pull yourself up. And I know you will. I'd never met a bad guy in all my life... & recently I just unluckily met a player. I'd always been gullible to trust everything ppl say. He said he's not a bad guy, & I took his word for it. The rs didn't even start, & already I'm losing faith in love. And I'm only 20!

    You're a good person & you'll find your happiness! I totally agree with your entry about karma cos I'm feeling it now too (I was nodding at every sentence!), but don't lose faith!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sarah8:31 am

    Well you can reveal the ip address. Or even publish all my past comments. It's no big deal to me. I was trying to recall my past comments on you just a moment ago but failed. Becos every comments is how I feel towards you (or your post) at that moment. And I remember I wrote positive comments on certain posts. Some of it really impressed me. why do you care abt the identities anyway. I don't see the point. Oh wells, since u hate anonymous comments so much, I will make a point to identify myself EVERYTIME I comment yeah? Happy now?

    And btw, I showed my bf your hate comment. 'haha what a sour girl' was his comment. And I told him this is not a girl. She's already close to 30 and not married. Looks like the ugly bitch whom nobody wants is you becos Im getting married upon graduation this yr. Hmm...

    ReplyDelete
  24. omg. u cant seriously be this stupid right.

    i thought it was clear tht i was showing u the diff btwn normal criticism n a hate comment.

    ReplyDelete
  25. anon 12.32,

    i don't mean to defend holly (goodness, i don't even know her!) but i trust that you would agree with me that there is a big difference between saying:-

    1. wow you've moved on pretty fast!; and

    2. wow, you've moved on too fast! you are therefore a (insert derogatory term(s) e.g. whore/slut) and for that you (insinuate that she has diseases) and deserve to (insert curses/final judgment e.g. die and burn in the fires of Hell forever)!

    the former is an opinion, the latter is, undoubtedly, an attack.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous12:52 am

    Oh Sarah, he's your bf of course he side with you but i guess its birds of a feather anyway.

    Getting married right after graduation and 10 years younger? I've seen plenty and they have almost all come to no good end. Good luck with that!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi, yes. Sarah, we can say a lot of things about you too - getting married at 20????

    I think its ok to express concern in Holly's blog to say : hey are you sure what you are doing is right holly, are you going too fast? Or even suggesting that she do certain things. You can even say: hey holly if you go on this way you may not find the right man.

    But yes, we should't link that to calling her a slut or a whore. Its judgement then.

    There is a lot for us to learn too. I totally understand how a thread of nasty comments can lead to us pitching in. Its like mass hysteria, under a cloak of anonymity.

    But we have to remember Holly is a person too, with feelings.

    I apologise if I have ever offended you or upset you...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous3:05 pm

    LOL I had a good laugh reading Sarah's reply. Obviously Sarah's not that good in defending herself and she doesn't get it when Holly replied at 4:50. That was hilarious, to me at least.

    Btw. Getting married is no big deal. Keeping the marriage is.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous10:19 am

    Sarah oh Sarah..
    ur just immature!

    ReplyDelete
  30. this is really inspirational. i especially love this line: Pursue your passion. I know that’s not always possible at all times, for many reasons – but don't let that reason be fear.

    thank you Holly. =)

    I'll be posting that quote to my tumblr, hope you don't mind!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Pursue your passion is so important in life. I believe when the right opportunities come, one should always grab hold of them and follow your passion. Its only when pursuing one's passion, one enjoys the process and pleasure of working to seeing dreams come true.

    I love how you encourage and share your life through the posts you have written on this wonderful blog. A great sharing about your life :)

    Cheers,
    Caleb

    ReplyDelete