Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Worst Date Ever

My worst date ever was someone I met off an internet dating site, about 2 years ago. This was just after breaking up with Mark.

In his profile, his age stated 38, which to me at the time, was just ideal. I still wanted an older man, but I capped it at 10 years older max. His photo looked ok, not that clear, nothing fantastic... but from his profile, he sounded interesting. Loved travel, good food, was an artist, and had no baggage (meaning no ex wife and kids).

So we arranged for dinner at Robertson Quay, at Esmirada's. I arrived on time. He was on his way on his vespa, 10 minutes late. He also looked older than the pic he put in his profile.
The first Bad date NO NO... was that he turned up in CROCS. And I'm not talking about the CROCS which at least look like proper shoes (with laces)... but he turned up in baby crocs.. you know, the kind cut for toddlers.
If that wasn't bad enough, he wore one side black and the other side white. And the first thing I pointed out when we met was, "why don't your shoes match?"

His answer was something along the lines of being an artist, he wasn't mainstream and was different.

HELLO UNCLE, THAT'S SO UNCOOL.

I could not help looking at his damn shoes throughout the date, and I remember being extra disgusted to realise that they were not even original Crocs, but the rubber copies thy sell at the markets for $4 or something.

Ok, so let the shoe issue rest. As we met, within the first 12 seconds, I already felt that he wasn't my type after all and I was never going to take this further. So in a bid to save each other's time and effort, I said I wasn't hungry, and would prefer to just sit down for a drink instead of dinner.

He agreed. We ordered our drinks. He talked all about himself... about the photography he does (of textures or something) and his upcomming exhibition... etc etc.... he didn't ask me one question about myself. So I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that I am a blogger or anything about me for that matter.

And you know what else? Half way through, he said - "Guess my age?"

I said, "38." because that's what he put on his profile!

And he smiled smugly, and said," No, I'm 51." He was sooooo happy I said 38 because he actually thought I said 38 because he looked 38! Wtf man.

I clarified that he put 38 on his profile???! And he said yes, because he feels 38. Wow... what a great excuse to cover a lie. Delusion.

I drank my drink fairly quickly. The waiter asked if I wanted another, and I said no thanks. Mr Cool Crocs however... really milked that one drink. We were there 1 hour. I was hungry. I was waiting for him to finish his damn drink so we could end the date.

But surprise surprise... the kinds staff in Esmirada's was having a slow night, so they popped out to refill our drinks for free. NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

All in all, that night took 2.5 hours. In retrospect... I should have just ordered the lamb!

P/s - after the 2 drinks, he offered to take me back to his place (on his Vespa?!!??) and cook dinner for me. Talk about not being able to read body language eh.

I know you will say it's my fault. I should have just made it clearer, or just walked off as soon as I saw him. But I'm not rude like that.... and I really thought the date would be 30 mins tops, if we just sat for a drink. Lesson learnt!

I have more internet dating stories to share with you. Will tell you about more wierdos when I feel like it. It was good fun while it lasted, and I actually met some guys with whom I am still friends with.

25 comments:

  1. hahahaha...I think the part where he went "I'm actually 51" is such a loser wtf moment! Anyway I appluad u for trying out internet dating, I'm too lazy to do it but always wondered about it.

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  2. My balls drop the moment i saw 51. What some guys would do to get only ONE date! How long did they think their lie will last?

    I don't think i'm a good date to those i've dated before but at least be honest up front to save everyone's time.

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  3. girl with the twitchy thumbs4:59 pm

    Good lord! What a disaster! By the way, I think if he were really artistic, he would have better taste in shoes.

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  4. can i date you Miss Jean???
    =P

    Bernard (D-GUY).

    .

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  5. I would have asked him at some point what he thought of the date, and then offer my opinion about it after the first hour perhaps. Then when they wanted to refill my drink, I would say, its ok, we were just leaving. Then I would thank him for the date, and leave.

    Or, i would have used the fact that he lied about his age as the reason for leaving. "I don't really fancy liars, but that's just me", you could say. I think he would have deserved that too.

    What a weirdo. But haha, makes for a good story doesn't it?

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  7. Brielle8:36 pm

    Hi Holly!

    Love to read your blog very much! =)
    if i were you, i definitely will walked off as soon as I saw him...LOL!

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  8. Anonymous11:04 pm

    Have you met those who try to be all touchy?

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  9. Wah liao my inner voice wld say:" na bei, bo ji(no balls)"

    But nonetheless, i think i wil stil 'complete' the date coz it muz be v pitiful to have to do this...

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  10. Anonymous11:40 pm

    Horrors!! Why didnt you tell him he's delusional about ooking/feeling 38? Hahahaha.

    I thought the last part where he offered to take you back to his place was gross.

    Was it really bad? it sounds pretty skin crawling. still, i feel you were polite enough to end it on a note, i'd cook up a lame excuse and fled. Ooops. Haha

    Leah

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  11. Anonymous11:43 pm

    Kudos to you for being able to stay put for the 2.5hr! I would probably come up with some lies like im meeting my friend, so im leaving, else i think i will constantly get goosebumps while taking to him. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. Anonymous12:40 am

    Hahaha this guy is delusional. 51, never married.. hmm something fishy there already. Anyway, more internet dating stories please! They are hilarious! :)

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  13. Haha!

    he still sounds better than your OMY date...a certain Mr Lim..

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  14. Good fun while it lasted? I thought you couldn't wait for him to call it quits. Hmmm... this gives me inspiration for my next blog entry.

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  15. Anonymous11:46 am

    Looking at the keyboard the numbers are nowhere near each other so can't be typos too.

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  16. @kuen and Supergenius- yeah I don't get while ppl lie abt something as vital as their age. I mean, if someone isn't going to go out with you because you're 51, then they're not the person for u. WHy dupe them into going out with you by lying abt age!

    @girl with twithcy thumbs- AGREED!

    @Bernard- I got bf now :) real one. lol

    @Jess- u make good sense. I agree with u , but I have a problem with being to polite. :( In the end i waste everyone's time I guess :(

    @BellyB- I wish I had the guts to say it to his face at the time - HELLO UNCLE THAT'S SO UNCOOL! haha. I just thought it, and then said - Nice to meet you. HAHAHA

    @Brielle- thank u :)

    @anon11.04pm- yes, but usually with tht, I no longer am polite about it. I will leave.

    @pink miu miu - Who bo ji?? me ah ? :(

    @Leah- Well, when the night was over, I even let him walk me to the main road on pretext tht I was getting a taxi home. Then when he left, I doubled back to Esmirada's to eat on my own!

    @anon11.43- ur welcome

    @anon12.40- will do! :)

    @edmund- Mr Lim was much better in comparison. surprise surprise.

    @Dr Chan - YEAH, I cldn't wait for this Croc wearing Vespa guy to call it quits. for sure. But I meant the whole internet dating phase was good fun while it lasted.

    @anon11.46- yeah, he definitely purposely lied in his profile.

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  17. Ms Piggy2:37 pm

    Is he french? Lives somewhr near Somerset?? He sounds a lot like tis disastrous date i had awhile ago...

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  18. Anonymous6:58 pm

    Hopefully I won't be featured in the "disastrous dates" series...

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  19. @MissPiggy - YES! French! I don't know where he lives though.

    Tell us about your date! Think it's the same guy?


    @anon6.58 - I don't know who you are, but I have had years of first dates amounting to nothing... Most of them were normal people. Only a few stand out as disasterous dates.

    And anyway, I would NEVER mention names.

    I bet I am someone elses' disaster date once upon a time too. Cest la vie.

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  20. Anonymous2:36 pm

    Oh MissPiggy! I wanna find out if it's the same person who's been contacting me! French too! And he does live around somerset if I'm not wrong...some artist photographer whose name starts with a D?

    If yes, tell me all about your date please!!

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  21. Ha, ha, this one was was funny! That must have been some endurance test. And yes, you should have ordered the lamb! :)

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  22. totally agree on the crocs! the fugliest footware ever ever made indeed. My #1 no-no when i meet a guy too.

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  23. Anonymous10:31 pm

    Erm ....... you mean a french with initial D.P???!?!?!?!?!?

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  24. lol! i enjoy reading this post...i would have pretend on another 'appointment' with another fren for the sake of leaving him. Sometimes, faking it is the only escape way.

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