Wanna Make it Your Last Date?!

The world is never short of advice givers (myself included!). Be it from your single inexperienced friend, the internet, books or whoever, chances are you've been given some awful relationship advice in your time. Unfortunately, chances are that you have also followed some of these awful relationship advice and unwittingly sabotaged your love life!

Here are 5 common relationship advice to ignore, no matter how many people tell you otherwise:

1. "Just be yourself on the first date"

I am assuming here that you are dating normal people, right? Normal people form first impressions of you and these impressions last. If you perhaps fart when you feel like it, expect her to pick up the tab or talk about football/your ex/grumble the whole time, chances are it will not bode well for you. Don't expect a second date  simply because you never made any effort. There's no need to be fake or lie (please don't lie!) ... but you need to bring on your A Game.

So, when someone tells you to "be yourself", what they really mean is be Channing Tatum/Gal Gadot.


2. "Don't call for at least two days".

They often say that if you call too soon, you appear desperate and unappealing. On the contrary, most adults are not keen on playing such games. Bloody waste people's time!!!! 

If you're interested in them, then send a nice and polite SMS shortly after a date (on the same night if possible) to say that you've enjoyed their company and that you would like to do it again soon. This communicates your interest and they’ll reciprocate if the feeling is mutual.


3. "Just ask her what she likes sexually."

I don't know, maybe if a guy got asked this on a first date he might find it a turn on... but I find it presumptuous.... and like desperate to make it seem like you're so Woke when it comes to sex. Pffftt.

Many love gurus advocate asking a woman how she would like to be pleased in bed. While I think communication is key to a good relationship, so is spontaneity. If you feel you need to ask, then perhaps you two are not ready for intimacy yet. A bonding part of sexual intimacy is in the exploration phase. Don't ruin it by jotting stuff down in your notebook like you're in a biology class.

Plus, no woman is honestly going to tell you- Oh,when we have sex for the first time, would it be okay if you spanked my buttocks before intercourse? Thanks for asking." Get in the moment and experiment, figure that out yourself. (When your relationship is more developed, then yeah it will come up in regular couple conversation. But don't ask on the first date!)


4. "Take a break. You will learn to appreciate the time you spent together".

Some couples take a relationship break for some time to figure out if they want to be together or not. While it is true that having space to do your own thing while you're a couple is beneficial to the relationship, a temporary break up is not.

That sort of 'break' in reality is a period to see whether either of you can attract someone better in the allotted break time. If you cannot, then you both go back to putting up with each other. If you want to fix a relationship, then fix it. If you want someone better, then go for it, without stringing the other along like a spare tyre.


5. "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

I've heard this so many times, especially after a failed relationship. But if that were true, I would have become the Incredible Hulk. Like seriously. The reality is, you have to learn from your mistakes. If you fail, and take no responsibility or learn from your failure, then you're not any better or stronger.

It's more a case of- What doesn't kill you, wasted your time and put you back to square one! TRUTH.


Comments

  1. Anonymous10:54 pm

    But everyone feels differently ma. Some kenna setback then end of the world lol.

    ReplyDelete

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