Just a thought.
Do you know how many of your previous partners cheated on you while you were in a relationship with them? I know of a few and I don't think I deserved to be cheated on by them...
But, I was speaking to my ex, GB the other day, and he was telling me that a friend of his (whom I know as well) is being denied sex from his wife. And he told his friend that if he is being denied at home, then look for it elsewhere. I don't condone cheating, but I also think it's unfair of her (or anyone) to deny their spouse sex, and then expect them not to have their needs met elsewhere. Don't you think?
I know it's easy to say- oh, if you're going to cheat then, break up with them first. End the relationship if it's not right for you. Don't cheat on your spouse/partner. You're being selfish.
But what if they have kids... and an otherwise happy family? What if there's a lot vested in the relationship? What if they don't want to call it quits .. or see no reason to? Surely, discreetly having your physical needs met outside of the relationship can in a sense 'save' your relationship... right? And what she/he doesn't know, can't hurt him/her.
Cheating is wrong. But which is the lesser of two evils? To get your needs met elsewhere, everything else remains status quo... or to resent your partner for always denying you sex and then allow the relationship to crumble?
However, if your partner doesn't deny you intimacy, doesn't turn down your requests for sex, or better still, takes the initiative to make the first move.. yet you still indulge in extra marital temptations... that is just unforgiveable. Now you're cheating because you're just an asshole.
What do you think? Is cheating ever okay?
P/S- also, a word of advice... don't deny your partner sex or withhold it like some kind of power trip. It's not healthy. If you somehow lost your sex drive, have physical problems or have issues with the way your partner looks or whatever the reason, then find a way to fix it. Just avoiding sex is not a solution.. and if that's what you choose, then don't be surprised if he/she gets their needs met elsewhere. You had it first, but you didn't want it. Of course, it doesn't mean you need to be up for sex 100% of the time or need to be shagging like rabbits for your relationship to be okay... but generally, if you find yourself turning your partner down like more than 3 times out of 10, there's a problem. Pretty soon he/she will stop asking for it.. but that doesn't mean your problem has been solved.. within your bedroom.
Cheating in marriage is the most serious offense. One violates the oath of fidelity most couples make during the marriage ceremony. A wedding is much more than a big party.
Many people, far to many do not full understand or appreciate what being in a truly loving and sharing relationship requires. True love requires selflessness from both people forming that union.
Therefore in this matter, the deprived partner should refrain from engaging in a tit-for-tat. Exhaust all options to salvage the marriage. If the spouse won't budge, it just reflects how much this marriage means to him/her. The person affected could then consider the option of divorce, even though it may be hard.
My point is, yes do go out there and make yourself available again in the singles market.Find a new partner that's worthy, or simply just get some commitment-free sex if you must. But make sure you've made a clean break-up before that. Everyone deserves happiness.
The alternative is of course, try and salvage the marriage through marital counselling.
Or... if they still decide to stick to the marriage for some reasons, they might want to consider doing up a formal agreement that both partners allow each other to find sex outside of marriage. At least, that document will protect both of them should the marriage breakdown in the future. (I'm not sure if this is feasible though)
Just my two cents.
Sexual cheating is probably worse though cod it's so much more tangible .... Even if it's "just sex".
Saying that, i would dump the guy for either emotional or sexual cheats
Anyway, even if it's not, thought it would be interesting to share another perspective from the "denier" aka me. I would have gone to the lawyer without a doubt had it not been for our daughter which made me think not twice, but probably a million times. How did we come to this stage? Well, I caught the husband messaging some slutty-looking woman late at night (many times), calling her "dear" and asking she asking him "how's your day" and what-not. He even went to her house before to do-what-I-don't-want-to-know-but-you-can-guess. They hooked up while I was expecting! Gave the husband a chance to explain but nope, he kept his mouth tightly shut. Say I'm petty, but I doubt any woman will be magnanimous enough to let things slide (and continue with the intimacy!) when they know their husbands have been indulging in filth outside when their wives are pregnant!
So, can he seek his satisfaction elsewhere now? Sure, because to me he's invisible now. I think he must be very desperate now because I also caught him surfing Singapore teens porn websites.
Ugh! I'm sorry to hear about ur husbands habits. :( totally see where Ur coming from