Saturday, May 11, 2013

I Once Told a Boyfriend...

This is a continuation to my previous post- A Boyfriend Once Told Me..  
I'm not proud of any of this... but I'll share it anway... I once told a boyfriend...

... I could not date him because I hated his shirt

This was more than 10 years ago. He wore a red short sleeved shirt with Hawaiian print on it. He was such a nice guy and perhaps would have made a great partner for me, but I was young and full of shit. Funnily enough, 10 yrs later, David wore a shirt I hated on our first date. I was put off, but I thought of the stupid judgement call I made before, and decided to give David another shot. I've liked all his clothes since sans that one shirt.

... his mother died
but it wasn't true. I know! I know! Nasty! I'm embarrassed to even tell you this... He was always going to this dodgy bar with his dodgy guy friend... and in this bar, there are hoards of Filipino girls (nothing against Filipinos but I'm just saying it like it is. This one bar had like 20 of them just standing around in tarty dresses, and when men come in, they sit on their laps etc).  Anyway, long story short, he promised me he would not go there any more. I ring him one night and his phone was OFF. I had a gut feeling he would be there. So I looked up the bar's phone number.. rang it. I asked for "xxx", and the bar staff asked around but said no such person... obviously my bf suspected it might be me on the phone. Lol. So before I hung up, I mentioned to the bar staff, "Oh dear. Ok if he comes in, please tell him to call me because his mother just died."

5 seconds later, my BF rings me. If he wasn't there and avoiding my calls, he would not hear such a nasty and scary lie in the first place, that's my defense :). 

... I don't get drunk easily
So he thought I would be able to hold my liquor. It was our first Christmas party together, it's a very new relationship. A small vodka and a big glass of wine later, he comes back from the toilet to find me dancing on the dining table, kicking his friends' wine glasses off (It was my first time meeting them some more). Barely half an hour later, I'm vomiting at the back of the restaurant, and that was our Christmas party cut very short.

... he was comparable
when he asked me if his penis was bigger or smaller than other boyfriends. He was much smaller, but instead of hurting his feelings, I said he was 'comparable'. See.. I'm not all that wicked. :)

... I get car sick in cabs
We were going to Sentosa, I lived in Pasir ris and he lived in town. I was in the taxi, and he asked me to go past his place to pick him up. WTF, Pasir ris to Sentosa via town is a big detour lah! Good enough I didn't expect him to come pick me up for dates... still want me to detour and pick him up??? So I lied and told him I get car sick if the cab journey is too long, so I'll meet him at Sentosa itself.

My poor ex boyfriends, eh ?

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:40 am

    I lost it at the dead-mother lie. I mean poor him but HAHAHAHAHA GOOD ONE HOLLY.

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  2. LOL!! Lucky you got past the first one and met David for a 2nd date!

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  3. Anonymous10:10 pm

    Great excuses.

    David is one lucky fellow!

    L.Y.P.

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