I was just thinking of all the ridiculous, absurd, assholic stuff my past boyfriends have said to me.A boyfriend once told me...
... that 4 squares of toilet paper is enough because he buys 3-ply
One day, when I was at his house, he barged into the bathroom while I was on the toilet. I was shocked at the intrusion but what shocked me even more was that he actually did it to spot check how much of his toilet paper I was using! He then explained to me after that his previous girlfriend used to finish up his toilet paper very fast. And that he buys 3-ply toilet rolls so, really for a pee, just use ONE square, and for poop, 4 squares of toilet paper is enough. I kid you not.
... that if I quit my job, he can't marry me
This was when I was still a secondary school teacher. He knew I was miserable and wanted to resign as soon as my bond was up. However, he said that he wanted a dual income family and he needed his wife to earn good money so he won't have to forgo any luxuries in life even after we have kids to provide for. I resigned from teaching anyway.
... his mother thinks I'm THE devil
And not even A devil... but The devil himself (LOL)... Because I wear short shorts and short skirts. And also because I look pretty, I won't make a good wife. She makes her own daughter wear cardigans over her knee length dresses. And to her a covered woman (or better still.. unattractive woman) is the mark of a good woman. -_-
... he would like to get 2 homes
And not live with his wife. This was Mark (remember him from years ago?. His own best friend lived in the other wing of his huge home (not in Singapore)... separate from his wife when his baby was born, so that the baby would not wake or disturb him.
... I have bad breath
Well, not a boyfriend perse, but someone I had a few dates with. Then he said it wouldn't work out because I had bad breath. (No other BF thought I had bad breath ok!) and then months after we stopped dating, he told me actually he got put off dating me because I mentioned I had a disabled Sister (who needs to be cared for for life).
... My arse is too big
I suppose he prefers the no hips, flat butt sort which he used to date when he worked in HK. OK, I'm not skinny but I'm definitely not like extra hippy or lard arsed!
... I look Pregnant
Well he has said this and lots and lots of unflattering/insulting type comments instead of compliments. And I never fished for them either! He would always say it after any random guy looks at me or worse still, smiles at me and he notices. Or like when the cashier at the shop was friendly and chatty to me while ringing my purchases up, he said it's because I look like a Thai hooker that's why (I was wearing tshirt and shorts in my Neighbourhood provision shop la). When were on holiday at such a beautiful place, a guy turns to give me a second look. BF straight away says to me, he's looking at you because he thinks you're pregnant. Wtf ... this is what I looked like that day btw...
... he gave his number to a girl in Thailand to HELP her
She was learning English and she was a nice girl who wanted to get out of Thailand... and he wanted to help her. He went there to play golf with his friends, met her in a bar, exchanged numbers and then didn't tell me until I found out. The reason I found out was because I was helping him put something away in the cupboard one day, and then chanced upon his mobile phone stashed between the stack of bath towels. So odd. So I looked through his messages and then asked him about the Thai girl's messages. -_-
What nuggets have you got in your list of "A boyfriend once told me..."?
In a couple of days, I'll share - "I Once Told A Boyfriend..."