Wednesday, April 04, 2012

How Do You Deal With Temptation?

I don't know if it's a case of people wanting what they can't have...

or if people start to appear more attractive to the opposite sex once they are attached...

or actually a combination of both. But I've found that temptation keeps cropping up now... more so than ever.


It's almost like... gah!!! Why didn't I meet you when I was single!? or shit! Why must you hit on me when I am already engaged to someone!?? 

When you're single and open to flirtation and all sorts of juicy temptation (in the form of the attractive opposite sex)... you hardly get any! There always seems to be a drought when you're single, and the minute you're attached.. bam! the prospects start appearing...

... and once you are engaged or just married... I have found that it is particularly amplified. I'm lucky because the people who have hit on me so far , or tried to chat me up on the train or in the mall... have all been very unattractive to me. I would say - stupid or ugly or poor or uneducated etc.. but then some of you will label me racist/SPG/elitist/horse face/ugly bitch, etc. 

But yeah.. suddenly there were undesirable (to me) men coming up to me asking for my number... I politely say No., but I think to myself.. wtf.. helloooo? Can't you see someone's put a ring on it? (talking abt my fourth finger).

But what happens when suddenly out of the blue the one who comes into the picture is actually a desirable person? What would you do then?  

They say that temptation is rooted in selfishness. And that you  can’t be tempted unless you have thought about it.  So if you think about the fun you could be having (or the pleasure). then of course you will be tempted. If you just walk away from the get go, without even allowing your brain to think "what if", then there won't be temptation. 

I also think that people who are unhappy with their current situation would be more likely to succumb to temptation... for instance.. they would think.. what have I got to lose really? Nothing much. (That's why we should never take our partners for granted... we should show them that we are worth resisting temptation for)

All temptation is linked to what you think.Therefore, control your thoughts, and you will control temptation. Easier said than done huh?

How do you deal with temptation?

15 comments:

  1. Assuming everything else stay with the same from your partner. One way to beat temptation is - always remember why and how you and your partner got together in the first place. Unless there's nothing special or deep that bounded 2 of you together in the first place, else i don't see how someone can bear to hurt their partner this way.

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  2. Hmm, it's simple.

    First, the main thing that has to be there is honesty in the relationship. This means that whatever you do (of significance - one good barometer is if you feel guilty then its worth telling), you have to tell your significant other.

    Secondly, with that in place, you won't be chatting anyone up, going on dates, flirting or kissing/ sleeping with anyone. The consequences of that is you have to tell your significant other about it. Which would then impact your relationship.

    So with that, it's now worth it anymore. Give up the time/effort spent keeping relationship together for a kiss/ sex? No way.

    There you go.

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  3. I enjoyed reading your blog.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.

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  4. Anonymous7:12 am

    Hello Beautiful,

    If I may take the discussion further, what if say you're completely mostly utterly happy at the moment. Your other half makes you feel !!!!!! and you're like there is NO way anybody is going to trump this.

    And then, another person comes along. Who is desirable and "better". A better suited partner to yourself. Are you allowed to stray?

    I spoke to my mum about it and she said, well thats precisely what commitment means. There's love and then there's commitment. You love the person enough to want to commit. And then once you commit - that's that. You're saying that, regardless who comes along or what comes along, I will still be with you. I make that commitment.

    I find that concept very hard to accept.. it almost sounds like a sentence right? I think thats old school love.. And it think its died off - people no longer understand that concept. Not that its wrong to want to move up or change for the better.

    Cool post , awaiting your thoughts/other comments!

    Xx
    V

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  5. Anonymous1:29 am

    I fully understand what u mean, being a married woman myself. It's crazy sometimes like the universe is working to tempt you! Contentment is key here, isn't it? Some people may appear wonderful at first glance but once you know them better, it may not always be the case.

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  6. I enjoy reading your blog too! But nowadays I see advertisements much more than blogging about your own life :( Blog more about your life please! <3

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  7. Anonymous9:49 pm

    Interested to hear more about what you and your readers have to say on this.

    It's something I'm thinking about as well. Is it a fine line between 'settling' (which has become a word with negative connotations) and the situation that you are describing (being happy with your r/s, but feeling temptation around). At what point does committing to a happy r/s (which involves resisting temptation - i.e. not that temptation is not felt, but it is consciously resisted) become its negative counterpart, settling?

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  8. Sometimes.... I don't do anything to act upon the temptation (e.g cheat)... But at the back of my mind I sort of file this temptation (person) as a back up... U know, just in case current one fails...

    But if ur engaged or married... This is ridiculous isn't it!?!

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  9. Sometimes.... I don't do anything to act upon the temptation (e.g cheat)... But at the back of my mind I sort of file this temptation (person) as a back up... U know, just in case current one fails...

    But if ur engaged or married... This is ridiculous isn't it!?!

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  10. Anonymous11:20 am

    I can tell you're not really happy with your soon to be husband.

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  11. Please lah. Just because I open up a topic like this for discussion and thought... means I am not happy ?!

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  12. Anonymous10:07 pm

    ignore 1120am.

    haha i'd rather you blog about the above than adverts!

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  13. Anonymous4:37 pm

    I think being tempted is ok....as long as the current r/s ends or it's made known to bf.

    However, if married already then the responsibility to commit kicks in.....n i will keep reminding myself of all the pros n cons i might b risking if i leave hubby n go for the new man. most of the time, it will b too great a risk because i m happy with hubby 90% of the time (the remaining being...maybe i wish he would put in more effort to b more romantic :P both verbally n in actions)
    focusing on the times my heart was touched or exploding with love for him based on the moments we have shared or just how he is, distracts me from thinking more about the temptation.

    That aside, i have married friends who told me tht they love being hit on/ stared at or flirted with after being married, even though they have no intention to stray.
    they just love the attention as they use tht as a sign that they r still attractive despite being married already. They love telling their hubby about it too like how they got asked on dates etc, n sometimes their hubby feel v proud tht they got asked.

    O_O??!!
    lol honestly i can't relate to tht thinking.....maybe cause i feel why let others validate u? n then, y must huby act tht way ....its like the whole 'trophy wife' syndrome lol

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  14. Anonymous4:37 pm

    I think being tempted is ok....as long as the current r/s ends or it's made known to bf.

    However, if married already then the responsibility to commit kicks in.....n i will keep reminding myself of all the pros n cons i might b risking if i leave hubby n go for the new man. most of the time, it will b too great a risk because i m happy with hubby 90% of the time (the remaining being...maybe i wish he would put in more effort to b more romantic :P both verbally n in actions)
    focusing on the times my heart was touched or exploding with love for him based on the moments we have shared or just how he is, distracts me from thinking more about the temptation.

    That aside, i have married friends who told me tht they love being hit on/ stared at or flirted with after being married, even though they have no intention to stray.
    they just love the attention as they use tht as a sign that they r still attractive despite being married already. They love telling their hubby about it too like how they got asked on dates etc, n sometimes their hubby feel v proud tht they got asked.

    O_O??!!
    lol honestly i can't relate to tht thinking.....maybe cause i feel why let others validate u? n then, y must huby act tht way ....its like the whole 'trophy wife' syndrome lol

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  15. Anonymous3:39 pm

    I can only talk from my personal experience. When you're happy and in love with your other half, no attractive, intelligent or rich person can tempt you away from your half. No matter how desirable that person can be, you won't even realise it cause your heart only have desires for your love one. I've been married for over 7yrs now, and I have to honestly say so far I haven't been attracted to any men but my hubby. My love for him has blinded me to the temptation out there.

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