Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Should Men Play Hard To Get?

If you like the girl, then -NO. Because Love is not a giant game.
Years ago, I met Mr X. After a couple of pleasant dates, Mr X gets too busy. The 3rd date never comes. Which is fine. I was single, I had other options when it came to men... so I explored those instead. But on and on.. he plays the hot cold game.. one moment keen (sending suggestive text messages, planning great dates), the next moment aloof and unavailable.

Then.. I just lost interest in him. Party's over. F-Off.

But everytime I am in a relationship... Mr X never fails to try to pop himself right back into the picture. He starts calling, emailing, SMSing, Facebooking me.... All keen and unabashedly interested.

I've been having him bug me for weeks and then disappear for months... It's been happening for a few years, so I never gave it much thought anymore. Just a nuisance.

Then 5 months or so ago, I blocked him off Facebook, classified his emails as Spam, and labelled him on my phone as "DON'T ANSWER!"

I have not even given him so much as the time of day over the last few years... yet her never failed to try his luck again and again. The last straw was when he messaged me , "I will never give up."

What? Your sanity?!

I didn't block him because he would jeopardise my relationship. Come on. He's no danger to my relationship. I'm not about to be swept off my feet by Mr X, because now I have someone much better.

But what irks me about men like Mr X is.... why the hell did he play such a childish cat and mouse game... only to realise too late that I was interested at the start and he just needed to be himself.... no need for reverse psychology or other strategies... (he had me at Hello sorta thing, you know).

Women are more likely to be interested in a guy if he has the confidence and assurance to show his interest by not only following up in a timely way, but by extending an invitation to have another date. If you do so, and she declines, then she just didn't like you enough. Full Stop. There's no point playing the game of deception and manipulation in a bid to get a girl to be interested in you. Have some pride guys! :)

If you like a girl, then tell her. If you've fallen in love with her, then show her. If you want to spend your life with her by your side, then make it happen. Otherwise, it is not going to just happen... especially not by concocting some kind of cunning manipulation.

Tell her. Show her. Make it happen. It's a split second moment of vulnerability, and only the very confident, and self assured will expose themselves like this. If you are honest and she pulls away, then she was never meant to be yours. Don't bother with the games.

Don't play hard to get. To any woman with a brain, reverse psychology is for amateurs.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:05 pm

    woohooooooo, well-written!

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  2. Anonymous3:37 pm

    I love this post!

    I wish all men would read this. It makes women like me want to give up when the men keep blowing hot and cold after showing signs of interest. Sigh.

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  3. It's hard to read his mind, but I think he wasn't really interested at first. Some girls like the "cool" sort of guy. You know, those who don't look desperate or too eager to please. I hope you won't see that as playing hard to get.

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  4. Anonymous9:41 pm

    I don't always agree with you on a lot of things but I must say I love this post cos yes, I've had similar experience too! Seriously, wtf do these men think they're doing and who the hell they think they are?

    It's disgusting to say the least and the last time it happened to me, I told him straight in the face and really gave it to him to knock him down a few notches despite in a non bitchy kinda way. Guess what? It all turns sooo ugly he suddenly hurled abuses at me. Blood moron!

    If that idiot bugs you again, get your bf to tell him off! Hate men like that! They need to see a shrink or therapist, not bug people for constant assurance to show that they still have it!

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