Monday, June 06, 2011

Things Guys Should Know (To Make Dating Easier for Everyone)


Things Guys Should Know (To Make Dating Easier for Everyone)


I'll try to make an attempt here… to tell men what women wished they could just tell them. I’m trying to make dating easier for everone!


When dating...
1. Texting a girl once or twice a week does not count as staying in contact. It’s meaningless and a waste of everyone’s time. Let go of her. Don't keep her hanging.


2. Be considerate. High heels can hurt. (I once had a first date who didn't take a taxi, and we had to WALK UP mount Faber Hill!)


3. If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard men tell her that five thousand times. It’s fine to repeat the compliment, but you’ll make a much bigger impression if you find something else to compliment.


4. Don’t stare at any woman's chest. If we catch you glancing at our chest (or another woman's) when you’re just in front of us, we’ll think you’re rude and have no willpower... and will therefore in the near future start cheating on us (yes, that's how our minds work). You can look, but from a distance (that way it’s not obvious what or who you’re looking at!).


5. Don’t be a momma’s boy! Set boundaries and work on establishing some independence. You and your mom can have a loving relationship without you still suckling at her tit. Once, a grown man in his 30s whom I was on a first date with, realised I had a tattoo on my right shoulder, and he said he had to stop dating me be cause his mom would "kill" him.


6. Don’t make empty promises in an attempt to impress us. Don’t say “Let’s do XYZ next month.” Sure, it sounds cool and impressive to talk a big game, but come next month, you won’t remember saying anything about XYZ. And we will forever think you’re full of shit.


7. Taking us for granted is probably the worst thing you could do after cheating and lying.


8. As far as having children goes, you have the luxury of time. Appreciate it and don’t waste ours. If you know you don't want kids, be straight with us.


9.Your attempt at Booty Calls are loserish. We can tell, even if you’re trying to be discreet, that all you’re really after is sex.


10. If you want to use some kind of reverse psychology or play some mind game with us, you have to make sure that you are actually smarter than us. Just yesterday, a guy on FB kept asking me out, I declined a few times and even said I had a BF. He then tried to raise the level of temptation by saying he'd take me on a date to GREECE. Lastly, he tried to attack my ego by saying, (and I quote )- "And, i tot u still have ur adventurous spirit with u."


WTF. Yeah adventurous spirit doesn't mean I will cheat or can be manipulated so easily, mofo!


11. We’d rather you didn’t smile and say, “I’ll call you” if you really meant “I'm fuckin' outta here, biatch.” That will make us think you're still interested. Just leave after a date and don’t say anything, we’ll get the message.



What do you think girls, have I missed anything out? Are there any other protocols you wish male dates would follow?

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:48 pm

    12. Ask us questions during the date that can help you get to know us better. Contribute answers too, but don't always talk about yourself. Act interested in what we have to say. Yawning is a NO.

    After all is said and done, second date means that there's spark and interest between us. After the third date and nothing progresses, I feel like it's the end of the road... no use waiting on something that is not going to happen.

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  2. girl with the white hoodie9:01 pm

    All I can think about with regard to no. 5 is .."bitty...." HHAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hilarious stuff. Now, attach it to a dove and send that shit over to every male around.

    Thanks.

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  4. Anonymous5:29 pm

    don't be touchy-feely with us!

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  5. Anonymous10:15 pm

    Get the bill on a date. It makes us feel like you can provide for us and that security translates into major bonus points!

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  6. Holly Jean,

    Should be required reading for every mail old enough to be interested in girls! ! ! !

    David

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  7. Anonymous12:41 pm

    I think you bring up many good points, Holly. But honestly, that's really how men work. It's just the way we are and I don't think we're gonna change.

    For instance, regarding you point 11, it's just like how we wish women would stop saying they are FINE (when in actuality, they are not and there IS something bothering them). Women know we hate that, but we have resigned to the fact that that's the way they are, and are always gonna be.

    I don't believe in changing the way women work. Instead, I try to understand them and figure out what they REALLY mean and feel.

    Anyway, I'd love to read your post on "Things Girls Should Know", if you plan to write one!

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  8. Please add: If you lean over for a kiss and we move away, it means no. If you try again and we move away again, it still means NO.

    And oh, it's always gentlemanly to (at least) offer to pay. It's not like we mind sharing the bill after the third date, we're not that unreasonable.

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  9. Anonymous9:02 am

    no wonder you are still single. the most stupid thing a girl can do is to think herself too smart. haha!

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  10. If we don't respond to you after the first date, it means we're not interested. Not playing hard to get.

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  11. I take it you listen to or have listened to the older Snoop tracks? Your language is like that whole record and it is fresh to hear a girl talking and telling it like it is. With words like mofo, biatch and booty calls I am sure you will gain some adoring fans but with some they will not like even if they understand all of the terminology.

    Said before will say again a fine blog and a fine blogger you be.

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  12. Anonymous12:04 am

    best list ever!!!!!! LOL! Thank u for speaking up for what's on our minds! :P

    ReplyDelete