Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Hen Nights & Bachelor Parties: Harmless Fun or Passport to Infidelity?

This month on MyFatPocket, the theme is wine & dine, Party Life.

With my close girl friends all tying the knot this year (yes, except for me.. and one other in Australia... PLEASE wait for me!) Ironically enough, the one in Australia and myself are the two oldest ones of all my girlfriends. OK... the age gap between the oldest and youngest of my girlfriends is only like 3 years.
But Still!!!
Anyway, Mabok is the next one, and she's getting married in December. Yes we call her Mabok ( which means drunk in Malay)... she earned that nickname when we were teenagers because she's very bubbly on any normal day, but even more so when out clubbing.

Yes... someone with the nickname Mabok... is settling down before me. (haha. *Hugs* Mabok)

So... many of my friends have been having their hen nights and bachelor parties.
So my article on MFP this week, just how harmless is that last hoorah?

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I've attended a few Hen nights and heard enough of what goes on at Bachelor parties to make me worry about when the time comes for me to tie the knot. Men often say that the stag night (aka Bachelor party) is their last night of freedom. To me, that is bullshit. You're in a monogamous relationship so you're already committed and have been committed for the last year (or however long you've been together).

So what is this one last hurrah about? Is it really just harmless fun?

10 Notches On The Moral Compass: 0 being harmless and 10 being just plain sinful no matter how many excuses he/she comes up with!
Basic Bonding activities
Notch 0: This does not involve the other sex. Women stay home and watch romantic movies together, give the bride to be presents and have a girly night. Men go racing, or shooting, or play poker together.
Hitting The Club
Notch 1: The club is the most common of places to have a Bachelor/Hen party. Opposite sex and alcohol are present... but that could well be harmless, if there’s no touching or flirting going on.
Harmless Flirting
Notch 2: You flirt with the opposite sex, probably at a club, and even more probably at the instigation of your peers, but it doesn't go beyond that. There is no intention of hooking up or exchanging contacts.

Mild Stripping
Notch 3: My girlfriend had her hen night at Gotham Penthouse where they had male strippers. It is also just as easy to hire a stripper to dance at your private party. It's a harmless notch number 3 if you see but don't touch... and if it's not the full Monty (just down to a G-string).

Full Strippers
Notch 4: One notch above those tame strippers… are the wild nights where there is a full striptease. If you feel that seeing a man/woman take all their clothes off while sexually gyrating and asking for money is what you need just before you're going to get married... then I question how much you value your relationship and marriage.

Touching
Notch 5: Touching the stripper in any way (be it a lap dance or whatever)... or touching someone from the club in the process of flirting would bump you up to the 5th notch.

Toucing WITH Intention
Notch 6: If you touch a stripper or random member of the opposite sex (in intimate places eg. breast or crotch) with the intention of getting physical and initiating sex, it's wrong (even if you're unsuccessful in sealing the deal).
Grinding
Notch 7: It’s perfectly ok to dance around people of the opposite sex, but if you're dancing so close to the opposite sex that your groins have to grind together. That's too close.

Kissing
Notch 8: Harmless as you may think it is... a kiss is not just a kiss. Congratulations, you have cheated on your future spouse.

Hand Job/ Blow Job
Notch 9: Be it received or given. No matter how drunk or dark it was... inexcusable!

Sex!
Notch 10: Sex with anyone other than your fiancé is grounds for dismissal! Call off the wedding. Even if he/she does still marry you, you have brought upon yourself a lifetime of problems and shame. It's going to be a recurring topic in arguments and you can bet your last dollar on the fact that it will never be forgotten by your partner.

This is my moral compass, and yours may be set on a different dial. What do you think???Would you be okay with your partner having a Bachelor party? Can you trust yourself to behave at your own? What would you consider going too far?


If you're about to have a bachelor party or hen night... I'll leave you with just one piece of advice:
If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong.




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For more such articles and and videos, do check out My Fat Pocket

9 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:45 am

    spot on! what i particularly can't stand about Singaporean men is the KTV bar bachelor night out. I mean seriously, KTV my ass...it's just an excuse for all kinds of borderline/full blown infidelity.

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  2. I think if you're not ready to trust your significant other to have a bachelor's party/ hen's night - then well, its unlikely you're ready for marriage.

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  3. Indiglo8:33 am

    For all those who feel they need a sleazy party or strippers or flirting to boost their egos or have a FUN time... they are the ones who aren't ready for marriage

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  4. Anonymous1:19 pm

    ditto what Jess says

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  5. In my opinion, if my future husband wishes to have a stag night, it's okay as long as he doesn't have any sexual contacts! Why would he wanna do that? I'd consider that to be cheating. I am fine up till Notch 3 I suppose. :D

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  6. Anonymous6:34 pm

    totally agree with what you said. :D

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  7. kingkong1:05 am

    stag night or hens night, this whole fiasco is not design for our culture- period.

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  8. Informative content, In bachelor party you can drink all night but between the beer and the strippers, wouldn't it be fun to have a few bachelor party games such as Despedida Soltero.

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  9. Anonymous11:05 am

    ..,this is a must read... i agree with you... but there are also cases that this hen night party can be celebrated with friends in a "nice" way... depends upon... thank you for this post... i am on your side.. :)
    hen night norwich

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