Dear Holly Jean,
I have a scar on my thigh. It’s about 4 inches across my right thigh, and it’s ugly like a worm-like welt.
When is it a good time to tell someone I am dating about it?
I've been seeing this guy for the past 3 weeks and I'm so nervous. I am afraid he won’t want to see me once he finds out.
But I don't know how to tell him about it.
You know… everyone has something that they’re not too comfortable about telling a new partner.
For some it may be a previous marriage, breast implants, an illness or money problems?? They’re all information that you want your partner to be aware of… but not the kind of information you’d spew out on the first date with someone.
I honestly think this scar of yours is not going to be a problem, unless you’re dating a childish 12 year old or something.
But the right time would be now, before you get intimate with him. The worst time for him to find out is when you’re actually in bed with him! And you don’t want to come to a point where you have to wiggle your way out of dates that involve the beach or swimming.
The longer you wait… the harder it will be to break the news.
Over dinner, or coffee or whatever, try to bring it up in conversation. I am not sure how you got the scar, was it in an accident? Maybe you could ask him if he had any life and death experiences. And then share yours, and tell him that all you have left now of the experience is a scar on your leg that will remind you of how precious life is. You know that kind of thing. Rather than just blurt out – Such nice weather today. Oh by the way, I have a scar on my leg!
If he has a problem with you having a small scar... then you’re better off finding that out early and stop wasting your time on him. Whatever the outcome, you cannot keep it a secret forever, so get it off your chest.
What do you readers think? Just tell him? Have you been in a similar position? Give Mel your support :)