Sunday, January 25, 2009

Don't Blow a Blow Job!

(If you are easily offended, then this is a post you shouldn't read)
---------------------------
It's time for a light-hearted and fun post!
Being a legend at BJs (haha...), of course I won't divulge ALL my secrets... (sorry, I'm a bit selfish) ... However, there are many ways women can wreck a BJ... so I've decided to reveal what NOT to do when engaging in fellatio.
Holly Jean's Top Ten DON'Ts when giving head

10. Definitely Don't blow
Calling it a blow job is definitely misleading. You don't blow it at all. The only blowing that's done is by him...

9. Don't bang his balls
Some women think that squeezing his balls together will make him come quicker. But in my experience, it often distracts a man and can be painful. My recommendation would be to gently caress the scrotum.

8. Don't look like it's gross
Yes... I admit giving a BJ is not exactly the same as eating choc chip ice cream... but you got to make it look like it is. Get it?

(And by the way, it's not gross... I read somewhere that it's actually cleaner than putting your own fingers in your mouth!)

7. Don't suck too hardMen don't like it soft and wimpy but it's just as bad if you put his penis in a choke hold! Apply only moderate suction.

6. Don't go too fast

If you start to get impatient, and go faster and faster before he's ready... then his penis might lose sensation. Timing is the key... keep a constant pace and only accelerate when you feel he's about to cum.

5. Don't use your teeth
Suck your lips in over your front teeth. Don't just scrape your teeth over his penis... and please don't bite down on it!

4. Don't rest your elbow in his leg
Remember that thing you did as a kid where you drill your elbow into your friends thigh??? Was it a good feeling?!?! (if you don't know what I am talking about... just jab and grind your own elbow into your thigh)

3. Don't gag


Practice, learn to control, know your limits.... but just don't gag throughout the BJ. It's a turnoff.

2. Don't keep stopping and starting
It's the break in the rhythm that causes a man to lose that feeling that's been building up. So even though your jaw is cramping, don't stop! If you really must... then at least keep the rhythm going with your hand.

1. Don't forget to swallow
It'll feel great for him because there's no interruption to the "moment", it boosts a man's ego and men like having a bad girl in the bedroom.

If you really don't want to swallow, spit it out discreetly into a towel or tissue (no, not under the bed or somewhere you think he won't find it) or just keep it in your mouth until you get to the bathroom.
------------------------------------------

Disclaimer:
Use the information as you please, but be reminded that I am not endorsing sex or any form of unprotected bodily fluid exchange.

35 comments:

  1. Yes #1 is impt for most guys.

    Vice versa when guys do it on the lass, my jaws also gets crampy too but I keep on going.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:56 am

    My bf loves it and the same I love it when he blows me touching my balls.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:11 am

    lol , nice post HJ - some women need a lot of advice on bj and get upset if you tell them - so best it comes from you !!! ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yay! I'm glad that this post hasn't offended people ... yet haha.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:48 pm

    lets get in on bitch

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4:19 pm

    wow, real pro. i thought this only happened in porn.

    ReplyDelete
  7. omg. this post os damn useful to me.haha

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for all the comments so far... but I want to know- Guys: is there anything I've missed??

    Girls: Have you any secrets tricks to share with me?

    ReplyDelete
  9. mrblack11:51 pm

    Another tip is to let your jaws rest and you can do it by letting your hand take over and using a bit of your tongue to do a bit of teasing.

    A little licking on the perineum and on the balls is good. Lick the underneath of the penis too.

    Don't make the mistake of licking the head too much, its uncomfortable.

    And also the ego booster, tell him how good he smells and how good he taste.

    If you keep plainly sucking on for ten minutes non-stop and even if it feels good, you look like you are doing it cos he pays you. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  10. kingkong2:13 am

    now, move on to deep throat 101

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous12:52 pm

    This is owesome... i can get my partner to refer to said blog. really appreciated

    ReplyDelete
  12. this should replace those "100 Ways to Please a Man" articles in those magazines...

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL, i love this post HJ! lol.. damn funny..! The comments cracks me up just the same..! HAHA

    ReplyDelete
  14. There should be a doctorate for this skill or at least a certificate. At least when one goes looking for a gf or wife you will know if the person has first class honours. Same for men ermmm.... if u know what i mean :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4:42 am

    holly, any tips on how you do anal ass holly?

    ReplyDelete
  16. GOSH
    what a good post
    ahaks

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous8:57 pm

    Hey holly,
    1.The ladies should make it as wet ass possible,but of course with the rite kind of wetness and not some sticky substance...

    2.Suck it with a hand shaking it...

    3.Give him a dirty horny look every now and then by looking up at him....He loves it when u look at him with that look..And of course,give him a FULL view of you sucking him..

    4.Use your tongue as you suck..Apply pressure with the tongue...Especially on the underside of the penis..

    5.Make some moaning sounds as you suck cos the sound create vibrations that will somewhat or rather make the dick feel good.

    6. Move ur mouth around the penis...It feels good..Trust me...Cos it shows on his face.. :D

    **I'm a girl**

    ReplyDelete
  18. fantastic points! thank you for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous2:09 am

    apparently the gagging happens when you don't breathe...so remember to breathe! --nn

    ReplyDelete
  20. funnily enough.. i have no probs breathing there... but struggle to breathe when kissing! haha. strange huh, must be angle I'm in or something.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous12:05 pm

    I must say this is an interesting post and 21 replies prove i am not the only one who likes giving head. lol. F.L

    ReplyDelete
  22. anonymous 4:42

    Hmmm.. anal huh?? interesting. might come up with tips or a funny post. But in general, I am not fond of it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous5:05 pm

    MM Lee is going to come and arrest you now

    ReplyDelete
  24. LOL. Nice one. LOL
    Shoud post up more tips for girls. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  25. Holly Jean!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous1:48 pm

    Contrary to popular belief and as joked by Joe Rogan, giving blowjobs isn't a template activity. Every man has to approached differently, similar to going down on a woman.

    One night stands although exciting doesn't give as much pleasure as knowing your partner inside out.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous9:53 pm

    Nice Nice Nice !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous11:31 am

    Excellent post!

    I have one last move to push my bf over the edge after he cum in my mouth. I usually spit out his cum. Then i will fill my mouth with cold water, hold it in, then put his cock into my mouth and swirl the cold water around. It's like washing his cock... he loves it!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous11:46 pm

    Found your blog after watching S-Factor.

    Thank you for this post.
    Very interesting read.
    Keep it up.

    :D

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous7:59 am

    No deposit POKER bankrolls
    free poker money no deposit :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous10:18 pm

    Isn't it very unhygiene to do that? Can anyone enlighten me as I had not tried it before.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. of course you got to be careful abt who your partner it (becos of STDs etc)

    But with someone you trust, and can maintain a basic level of hygiene, it's actually cleaner than sucking your own fingers! ( not making this bit up, read it somewhere)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Any tips for guys to be a good fella' for their gfs?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Haven't wrote THAT one yet... damn it!

    ReplyDelete