We’re not in Kansas Anymore ...

... and no matter how many times either of us click our heels. There is no rewind.  

Over the last 6 years of marriage, oh there have been trials & tribulations. It's like we went into this starting out all blissful (because.. love)... and then very quickly, we found ourselves kicked out of fairytale Kansas and tornadoed into the sucks ass land of Oz where the struggles of life and our flaws all come in to play. 

There have been phases which pained me and aged me like I never knew possible. But there have also been so many more magical phases which exulted me and made me glow with such pure unadulterated happiness and contentment. The day we found out I was pregnant with MJ (u really one shot sharp shooter siah), the very first time I saw snow & cried (from business class passenger window landing in Hokkaido… no one gave me that before), the first time I got to dance with you and realised we move so well together and I love that feeling. Of course many many more. We must make it a point to celebrate those wins and to appreciate the positives. We must also deal with the losses and put the negatives in its place (that's the past where it belongs) and resolve to do better, be better... for each other.

You are a wonderful husband. It has taken us 6 years to share more honestly with each other and to be absolutely open and vulnerable with each other. That is so fulfilling and so liberating. We know things about each other that no one else does. We know what we are thinking or feeling just from a look. And I love and cherish that bond, it makes me feel secure and sure. Even when you’re not with me I think of you, and for you. We are a team now. 

You are a loving & present father. Our kids adore you and are thrilled you’re spending time with them and not missing out on their growing up years. These bonds are irreplaceable. No amount of money or gifts or any other kind of sacrifice you can think of, can buy these priceless bonds of time and effort. For our babies, there's no time like the present and there's no gift more valuable than our presence.

You are a hottie. Our very first date by the beach, the waiter led me there and said you were in the restroom. When I noticed you approaching our table, I could not look at you! I was too nervous because I had built up so much fervour in the weeks leading up to our date. I just could not bring myself to look at you walk to our table. I wanted so much to appear nonchalant and I knew that if I looked at you, that's it, the gig is up... you would know I was already gaga over you. 

But after you sat down, and we eased into the most delightful conversation, I looked past your beautiful long lashes and was drawn into your soulful, deep brown eyes. And when I dared to briefly let my eyes wander a little lower past your face... I was greeted by your broad shoulders, covered by a white tshirt. Strong broad shoulders are a big turn on for me. I had to bite my lip to conceal my attraction. Even today, I have to long exhale through my mouth when I see you do things like clean the aircon units shirtless, and your shoulders are glistening with sweat. 

Oh and you clean up so good. Damn damn damn hot when you wear a suit. 

You are my Alpha. One of the earliest things I noticed about you was your unmistakeable confidence whenever you enter a room... be it a room filled with friends or strangers or even enemies… when you enter it... you ENTER it. Your presence is commanding. And I love being the woman on your arm in those situations. Your woman. I relish in the security of it, the pride, the flaunt. I proudly think, this is MY MAN. 

You are my lover. And recently, our discovery of level 3 orgasms. Haha.. I honestly thought our discovery of the unicorn was amazing enough, but surprise surprise, we haven't stoppped crossing new sexual frontiers, 6 years on. To say that I am very satisfied in the bedroom would be putting it modestly. (Thank u! ☺️)

You are my bubba. I love cooking for you and seeing that you’re well fed. Every dinner I make is a labour of love. I've been tweaking my cooking to suit your tastebuds and it gives me joy to see you enjoy your meal. But I also love whenever you cook for me. Done perfectly. My favourites are the bone marrow, foie gras, steak and roasted veges. No matter which top restaurant you take me to, if I order those items I'm usually disappointed because yours suit my palette better. You suit my palette better. 

Alas, life is unpredictable and far from perfect. And very often, (despite my Libran nature of wanting to balance the scales) life is not even fair. 

You see, those little things that matter often get lost in the chaos of everyday life. They were not always easy for me to see. It’s taken years but I’ve come to learn that just “loving” you is not enough. I need to love you in a way that makes you feel like I love you. I’m sorry I never caught on sooner.

I'm trying to give you that kind of love you deserve. You may feel like I never listen to you, but your opinion and your support matter more than you will ever understand. I want you to feel loved and adored. And I want to feel loved and adored.

In my whole pretty long life (of which I've lived 7 years longer than you lol) you're the one person who has given me the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows. You've given me such happiness and contentment, with love, and wonderful (and often extravagant) experiences. There's no one who could make me happier, there's no one I want to be around with as much as you. 

But you're also the one who hurt me the most... to the very pit of my soul. And it’s because only you can.  No one else could hurt me like that because no one else is loved to this magnitude where my whole heart feels it. Only u can break me. Only you can mend me. 

So in the moments I sit and stare. In the moments my eyes fill up and you ask if I am okay. Know that I am and always will be okay because of our love and commitment to each other.

Even when we’re worn down by the daily grind or the frustration of just having to grow the fuck up... let's remind each other that although it is not easy, the payoff is worth it. 

So let’s continue our journey on this yellow brick road until we find our way home again. I only want to go home with you. 

You are no ordinary man. You are everything to me. I love you more than I have loved any man before.

At my low and sad moments. I look to you for comfort. At my happiest moments, I look for you to share them with me. Everyone has a story in life. Thank you for sharing yours with me. 

Happy 6th Anniversary, my Bubba.


Love, Me.



Comments

  1. Anonymous10:31 pm

    Thank you for sharing such honest and raw sentiments with us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:53 pm

      Thank you so much for reading it :). - holly

      Delete

Post a Comment