Dos and Don'ts of Holiday Sex

Have you noticed? Relationship advice posts are back on my blog now :) Do let me know if there are any topics you want me to touch on. No holds barred.

Someone asked me about whether it's advisable to have holiday flings while abroad. Honestly, if you do have one night stands (I'm not judging) here in Singapore when you're on a Tinder hook up or Coffee Meets Bagel date or in the more traditional way... someone you meet at a club/bar... then how would it be any different from doing exactly all that while in a different country. So yeah, if that's your thing, don't let a border stop you.

There are good guys and bad guys all over the world, including Singapore. Yes, casual sex can be dangerous right here at home too. That said, you're still much more vulnerable when on the road because you're in foreign territory. However, that doesn't mean you have to forgo holiday flings, just be mindful of these dos and don'ts.

1. Only proceed if it feels right
Trust your instincts. If you feel happy and secure around him after hanging out for some time, then it should be ok. It's no different than when you meet a new guy who catches your fancy on home turf. If he makes you feel uncomfortable or gives off a creep vibe then back away (why would you want to sleep with someone like that anyway?!).

2. Have protection
Always have condoms with you, never rely on the guy to have them. Always insist that they use them. There's just too many STDs out there which are so easily transmitted, that risk is not worth any moment of pleasure.

3. Don't get stinking drunk
You don't have to avoid alcohol because there's no fun in that. But just don't drink too much on nights when you feel hooking up with someone is a possibility, as it can impair your judgment. Also, if anything goes wrong, you need your wits about you.

4. Keep your valuables
If you're planning on inviting someone back to your hotel room, keep your passport and money in the safe. If you go to his place, make sure you keep tabs on your handbag and belongings. Depending on which country you're in, it's actually not that uncommon for people to get robbed while hooking up with someone.

5. Let people know
Take a picture of him (I mean like a harmless wefie, don't ask him to pose for a mugshot haha), get his general info, your whereabouts and send it to your close friends in case anything happens. Get them to call and check in with you in a few hours.


  1. Anonymous3:56 am

    Hi holly, i've been following you since the days of your torrential love affairs (from the days of Skye/Mark/GB ahaha), and what i really would love to read would be what you've learnt from your relationships that you've talked about on your blog and how you know any of your exes were definitely not a great fit for you... basically like a "in retrospect" sort of post! Would be interesting to read !

  2. That’s a great idea!!! Will work on that as soon as I have a couple hours free one night .

  3. Anonymous2:05 pm

    Hi Holly! Was just wondering.. will Anal sex hurt?

  4. Yes. I think it hurts ah. Not pleasurable lol. That’s said... there are ways to ease in to it and prime yourself. So it’s not like just shove in suddenly kind.

  5. Anonymous3:24 pm

    Sex in marriage (and after birth) is definitely different compared to sex during a relationship. What's with bills to pay, kids to attend to, refrigerator to constantly stock up, and house to clean etc etc.

    For some of us, sex with our spouse could be so routine. Maybe we'd try sneak one in before falling asleep. Usually happens when either one of us request it like we're requesting for a back rub from our partner. Or a quickie before our bedroom door gets banged by the little one who demands to enter the room. Sounds familiar?

    Should we accept the fact that sex will change once we're married? Or is it worth clinging on to the idea that sex can still come with romance after marriage?

    For me and my hubby, parenting has sapped every ounce of energy that we have that sex becomes mechanical lately. My man would have his occasional hard-on but we'd both be too tired for sex. He'd usually be happy enough with me giving him a handjob half asleep. Lol! Or I may be in heat but too tired for sex. And we'd just settle with him cuddling me as I get my quick fix with my vibe.

    Do you and your hubby ever encounter similar sexual experiences like ours?

  6. Oh. Definitely after MJ was born out sex life was greatly affected. My husbands sex drive was like zero because the baby (crying etc) was stressing him out so much. Even though I was mainly the one caring for the baby... but I think he had a different picture in his head (also Cos my #1 myla is 100times easier) so it was a rude shock to get a high maintenance difficult baby. So yeah for a few months. He didn’t really want sex and I was quite affected by that, we quarrelled a lot.

    Now it’s much better , wouldn’t say it’s mechanical... but it’s more routine. Once a week. (when sometimes he goes out with friends for drinks on that ‘day’ of the week ... it’s damn sianzzz Cos it’s our only couple evening for the week).

    But overall sex is still enjoyable, not rushed (just the timing is planned. Can’t be like anytime anyhow. Cos we have 2 young kids to mind). Then whenever we can sneak away kids free for a couples weekend (rare though maybe once every 5months) then we have sex like we are carefree again hahahah


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