Wednesday, August 08, 2018

Does intelligence turn men off?


This is what life as a SAHM looks like ... when things are calm, and since MJ came along this is only like 10% of the day, at best lol. But I told myself every opportunity I can, I will make use of my “calm” time wisely. Either doing housework, prepping dinner or working on my drafts or on my very neglected blog. I’m at my mums house today and they have gone to send my Sister for her hospital check up. MJ is asleep, myla is just being myla (which is easy). So no housework or laundry etc to do here. I do have one draft to work on (it’s for a laser! Tell u more soon). But I’m too lazy to do that, Cos it’s work work. So I’ll blog instead. And I do have an interesting topic I want to put across to you.

Does intelligence really turn men off?

This topic popped in my head because last week, I overheard a group of young friends talking about dating and singlehood. A bit off topic for now ... but interestingly enough, one of the guys in the group was getting to know a lot of girls simultaneously... rather than just one at a time. And the group was like dude, you got to have better quality control. He reminds me of my past dating style actually. Parallel date (openly)many at one time without commitment (yet) and then start narrowing the group down until (ideally) you’re left with the one perfect person. Unfortunately, it didn’t end like that for me. I kept eliminating until EVERYONE in that pool didn’t make the cut. And I didn’t do this once... I did this countless times. Yep countless. I even started referring to them (the groups of potential partners) as cycles. Until I really lost count how many cycles I was in to. But I knew no other way. I was convinced this was the way to go.... have some vague checklist... cast my net far and wide and extend it way beyond my own social circles, then after the trawl, take my time to filter them out. In the end, people (well, men) became disposable to me. And I’m sure I didn’t rate very highly to them either once I’ve put them through that wringer.

 Although... What sparked today’s blog topic is that on the opposite end of that spectrum, another person in that group volunteered that her dating life is non existent... gist of it - BECAUSE SHE’S TOO SMART (so men aren’t attracted to her because of that). AKA Men prefer to date dumb girls or girls with average intelligence... -_- Then it crossed my mind... hey that’s just an excuse... some sort of self Praise type of reasoning to account for failure (in this case, failure at securing a mate).

Honestly... you mean to tell me if you took all that out of this world intelligence, Candour, wit, and
packaged it in perhaps a slimmer body and/or a more attractive face... that men are not going to be attracted to her because oh damn it she’s intelligent ???? Doesn’t make sense to me.

 Same thing as ... if everything remains the same but you take away her intelligence... or if she displayed only a moderate level of intelligence, would she suddenly have a line of suitors? No. Definitely not. Girlfriend, I like you but your intelligence is not the reason why you’re single. I don’t know the real reason, because I don’t know her but I can safely say that’s something’s got to change if she wants a mate and it’s not as simple as dumbing oneself down.

I also had a Friend (some years ago) say that people didn’t like her because she’s so pretty. 😳. Yes she’s pretty but people didn’t like her because she’s a bitch and so full of herself la. Maybe it’s just human nature to use a positive trait (like intelligence/beauty/wealth etc) and pretend like oh it’s such a bad thing and thus the reason why you fail. I feel so bad and mean thinking this. But it’s the truth and this is the harsh reality of life. :(. (Also not saying I’m so intelligent or so slim or so pretty or what ... but I have always had an outgoing and not afraid of rejection type of approach when it comes to getting dates. If I like what I see, hear, feel, I Make my move).

 What do you think? Is intelligence really a bad thing when it comes to attracting men? Or just a self gratifying excuse for failure to secure a mate/ mates?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3:13 pm

    Yes all things being equal, I’d say intelligence is a slight disadvantage. A beautiful girl with less intelligence is likely to have more suitors than the same beautiful girl with high intelligence. IMO, girls with higher intelligence tend to know their own mind more and may not readily accept “leadership” or protection from men. Also less likely to be subservient. Men, especially Asian men, have an instinct to lead, protect, provide. An intelligent girl would naturally need less of all these and thus be less appealing. But it is not much of a factor. That said, for men, beauty and attractiveness is the number one factor. If you are intelligent and beautiful, you’d still get lots of suitors, but probably less than an equally beautiful, less smart girl because of the intimidation factor. For an average looking girl, I think intelligence becomes even less appealing because then the attraction would have to be based on personality, and men are less likely to be attracted to strong personalities. They would more likely be attracted to the damsel in distress they can protect. Of course, intelligent girls would sense this very early on and, as you said, dumb themselves down. Then again, there are some who don’t want to put on a front and want to be liked for who they are from the outset. I speak in general terms. There are of course men who are particularly attracted to intelligent women, but I’d say far more men don’t care or prefer otherwise.

    ReplyDelete