Thursday, June 07, 2018

Letters to Myla Rae - The Lead up to you being an older sister

Open when you need a a reminder of how awesome you are.



Dearest Myla Rae,

You are a very good girl. Of course, not without the trials and tribulations all 2 year olds go through as part of development ... but overall you're very self sufficient, responsible, sweet and easy to manage.
This is you, a couple weeks ago... you had 2 nights of fevers and a bad cold. I brought you to the doctors that morning, and look at you... waiting patiently for your turn while holding on to my bag. You don't put up a struggle when being examined. I'm never afraid of taking you for your immunizations in the past also because even when you're scared or it hurts, you look at me for strength and take you cue from me. I'm very proud of you. 
When I'm busy cooking or mopping etc, you play quite contentedly in your room on your own.
Plus you super love school, despite being the youngest and smallest sized in class. No tears, I just drop you off for playgroup, you turn and wave goodbye happily and enter the classroom.
No stress for me. Thank you my child.
Last pic before start of June holidays!
When I pick you up 2 hours later, you're always excited and all smiles. If your daddy comes to pick you up (if he can fit it into his lunch break), you're even more excited and totally bypass me and make a beeline into his arms. Lol, luckily I don't get jealous when it comes to family and loved ones.
Now it's the June holidays though, so no more school... and I'm thankful for it because I was starting to struggle getting you to school and back. I'm quite heavily pregnant with Michael, and it's quite a long and scorching walk to school and back, pushing your stroller (and usually when coming back it's loaded with groceries).
So these final few weeks, I've really been enjoying our time together. I take you to the arcade for rides. And you help me with the load from shopping...
I should really take you to the pool more often, but it's a bit hard because I keep feeling tired and run down. I'm carrying a lot of excess weight now. 
I was 48kg pre-pregnancy with you and 67kg at week 35 gestation and then you arrived. So that's 19kg (which is a lot but I didn't like lumber around looking obese or what).
Now with your brother, I was 45kg pre-pregnancy, and now at 36 weeks I'm 69kg already. His weight has already surpassed your birth weight by almost a kilo (you were a tiny baby). But I actually feel the weight badly this time round... my body hurts... my ribs feel like they're breaking (on the right side). Belly gonna burst sort of feeling.

So I'm trying to spend as much time engaging you in lower key activities that are not too physically strenuous for me. I particularly enjoy our lunches out. First because I don't have to cook (haha) and second because I love seeing you explore food and enjoy it. Even if it gets a bit messy.
So my baby girl, in a few weeks you will be a big sister! I'm excited but also kinda dreading it. You see, it wasn't too long ago I was caring for a newborn (you) and I can still remember the HARD WORK it was. Homaigawd!!! Pump and then feed you (you're an easy baby but you're always a nightmare to feed milk to because you had a problem with your suck) and then diaper change and then put you back to sleep and then wash and sterilise the pump and bottles and prepare them for the next pump, and finally getting to sleep an hour before having to wake up to repeat everything againnnnnnnn).

I hope your brother will latch well and I won't need to pump. I'm nervous enough about having to balance a toddler's needs with a newborn baby's needs. The dynamics of the parent-child relationship changes dramatically with a second child. We will have a lot on our plate as it is. I pray he's born with no issues, and all is well.

I know your personality but not your brother's. You, me and daddy are in this together, ok? You'll be that little trooper by our side, helping to watch out for Baby Michael, throwing his dirty diapers away and passing us all the creams and lotions during changes. 
A huge part of me believes that you will take to being a big sister very well. By nature, you are very similar to me. And I don't recall wishing for sole attention or being jealous of my little brother, ever. Instead I felt instantly protective over him and I knew I gained a lifelong friend. I do wish that for you as well ( although I will have to bear in mind that I was 4 years old when my brother was born, but you will just turn 2 and half by the time Michael arrives).

Never forget, nothing changes our love for you, it can only grow.

Loved you first, and always...
Mummy
xx

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