Sunday, May 14, 2017

Letters to Myla Rae: Happy Mother's Day To Me!

Open when: You wonder why you're an only child

Dearest Myla Rae,

It's Mother's Day today.
I just wanted to use today to let you know that you are absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me. The most important. The most valuable.

So you're wondering, if having a child is so great then why didn't I do it over and over again and give you siblings???

Main reason is... this is the picture of a perfect family to me.

Which is strange because I super enjoyed having siblings growing up, in fact, for my whole childhood and most of my teenhood, my brother (your godpa) was my best friend. We are still close, but not like before where we would eat together, watch tv together, play the same video games, watch NBA and WWF together, read Lao Fu Zi comics, invent our own games (Houston kita ada problem!... haha I'll tell you about this another day), we would share toys (his Centurians made really short boyfriends for my Barbie dolls), talk talk talk, and look out for each other.

But now, for my own family, I always picture parents and one child as the perfect family. Maybe because I've an introverted nature and I like things under control, I don't like chaos. I'm not sure why it's perfect, but it is. I cannot picture having more kids, like I don't even think of it, let alone desire it. Some people might think it's selfish of me? But everyone has their own ideas of perfection, some might want a huge brood, while some might not want any children at all. Not one choice fits all.

I especially don't want to have to divide my attention. I only have 24 hours in a day, and even that is mostly taken up by sleep, washing, ironing, cooking, errands, writing, etc. So when I imagine having more kids, and each of them having even less of my time. It puts me off. I would feel like I was short changing them. You will always get my 100%.

We are also practical with finances and resources. We are not going to spoil you rotten with luxuries but we want to be able to see you all the way to university and beyond without you having to worry about money or having enough to meet your needs. That said though... even if we were filthy rich, I would still just want one child.

After we got married, I wanted you so badly but it took me an awfully long time to convince your father to start a family. So I bet my last dollar there is absolutely NO WAY he would say okay to another child.

Before I had you, I used to get so envious and sad when other people were pregnant or had babies. But now when I see people announcing that they're expecting a second or third etc child on Facebook, I don't have a single ounce of envy or sadness. It's actually very nice to feel this way. I feel complete. You are perfect to me. You complete our family.

So that is why you are our only child.

I hope you build and treasure loyal friendships which will see you through good times and bad. I hope you grow up to be a good person. Most of all, I hope to always be here for you for as long as I can.

Love,
Mum xx


Happy Mother's Day to me :)

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:22 pm

    Happy Mother's Day!
    Thank you for sharing your letters to Myla.. love reading them!

    ReplyDelete