Letters to Myla Rae - I Love that You Need Me

Open when- You need me but don't want to trouble me
Dearest Myla Rae,

Thanks for keeping me fit but my knees are now busted from all the standing and rocking and pacing about the house with you in my arms (or in a wrap). You are a great sleeper, don't get me wrong... oh you sleep through from night till morning and have been doing so since you were about 7 or 8 weeks old. But oh what an awful day napper you are. And no one can make you sleep for the night except me. I guess we can't have it all, and I would rather it be like this than go back to the way it was before where you kept me awake the whole night!

One of my pet peeves is your father waking you up after I've just put you to bed. So imagine 10-15 minutes of rocking you to sleep and then gingerly putting you down in your crib... I've got it down to a science, from the pace of the rocking to how hard I even breathe.

When you're asleep in your crib, yay! Now I can go write my blog, or eat some chocolate, or get on Facebook or drink a badly needed glass of water. But in comes your father, after the whole evening of being on the phone, AND HE WANTS TO CUDDLE YOU.           


I don't mean to be a selfish person denying you or him of contact. But like why didn't he do it BEFORE I put in all the effort to make you sleep. And after a whole day of taking care of you, I'm quite exhausted and would like some down time before it's time for my bed.

And sure enough, you're awake now. And because I'm pissed off, I always tell your father whenever he wakes you, that he has to make you go back to sleep. You rock her until she sleeps, I tell him, in a disgruntled manner. And barely 3 minutes later, he emerges from the room. Is she asleep? I ask, well knowing the answer. Obviously not.

And he will say something like- no, but she's calm... or she's almost asleep.

So, I go in to check on you and there you are... like you're conducting a large orchestra! I'll try to hold your flailing arms down, in the hopes that you will calm down and drift back to sleep. But it's always too late. So I have to start all over again with the rocking you to sleep. Exhausted or not, I always do it. And I will always do it for as long as you need it.

Sometimes even when I'm not carrying you, I catch myself walking with a rhythmic rocking gait. Hooray ... extra work for my legs! Plus my knee caps hurt and I think I'm way too young to already start getting OMK (Old Man's Knee).

On the flip side, I think my legs and butt are getting so much more toned than it has been for ages! Think the last time they were this toned, it was back in my NUS days with all the stairs everywhere and rushing from lecture hall to lecture hall.

And I have also honed my human sound machine skills to the point of perfection... lapping waves, gentle breeze, and white noise are my specialties.

So you see my dear girl, nothing is impossible when it comes to how far I would go for you. So if you need me (even to like cover up your tracks after murder), I'll do it.

But don't kill anyone if you can help it, please.



  1. To make you feel better, at that age my Son needs 1 hour of rocking per night to fall asleep. That is on a good day. On bad days maybe 2. And noisy daddy or not, he wakes up 45mins later to latch or ask for milk when he was older. 😅 Kudos to all mummies!
    Vivien ( Beautiful Chaos )

  2. It'll get better babe! Jia you!

    I cried almost every time I was pumping milk when u went back to work after 8 weeks. I wasn't rested enough, I didn't have enough time with my bubba, and I didn't even have time to eat too, I was eating Macdonalds crossing the road back to work after my appointment so that I can start pumping milk again.
    Slowly, with my family's help and Bubba's growth, it got better.

    Hang in there!

  3. So typical of dads to just walk in for a smooch, leave babies wide awake and walk out of the room. My husband still does it too. Hmmmph!

  4. Congrats on the birth of your baby, what a beautiful name! Putting a baby to bed has been our biggest struggle with our son AJ too as he's such a light sleeper. But we're praying for the day he can sleep through the night!

  5. Beautiful Baby! Yes, their sleep patterns are ever-changing and we almost have to be awake whole night sometimes. But when they become 1-1.5 years, the routine is set.

  6. Jia you! It will get better. My boy used to fight me every night before sleep, and screamed so much! Now, he just fidgets before sleep but oh, takes so long to sleep. And when he finally sleeps, I'm exhausted myself. But there are good nights too, when he just knocks out. Hang in there!

  7. Awww those days! You'll miss it when they are older. Not like you want those days back, but the feeling of how much they needed you :) Laurent used to be terrible at napping too! But I realised it's important to keep in entertained and engaged with activities during his waking hours so that he will not be so restless when it's time to sleep.

  8. Lovely baby girl.. I can totally relate to your situation, hugs! My older girl used to hv bad colic and wailed like thunder.. Haha.. Now she is 10years old, I do missed times during her baby years..


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