Monday, November 16, 2015

5 Kinds of Annoying People You Meet While Pregnant

Pregnancy is a long long road .... 10 months (40 weeks)! That's almost a whole year. And through this journey (33 weeks so far) I've met some pretty annoying types of people. Some pregnant women gripe about the belly toucher. I don't mind belly touchers. Maybe because my belly not huge, so no one really bothers with the touching lol.

But here are 5 kinds of people who have annoyed me so far.

The Cave woman


Oh, she's been through it all... natural child birth... no epidural... no painkillers. Maybe she had a home birth, hypno birth, or gave birth catching the baby with her one free hand as it popped out, while simultaneously cooking dinner with her other hand.

Which is fine, it is after all, her choice. But what is annoying is when the pro natural advocates get all judgy towards women who have had medical intervention, who got an epidural, who had csections, etc... as if these women's experience of childbirth is any less than their own, simply because they did not do it cavewoman style. For them, a birth experience has to be pro natural and vaginal... no matter whatttttttttt.

Even though, I personally do think that if medical advancements are there to add to the comfort of the process or especially to ensure the safety of your baby, then you're a fool not to make use of it. However, it is none of my business what other women choose, so I would never try to talk someone out of having a home birth etc. Similarly, it's not a cavewomen's place to tell another women that her birth experience is any less meaningful simply because she has had (or needed) medical intervention.


The Pro Breast Milk Advocate
oh yeah? Hmm.. ok. Humble much?
Now don't get me wrong. I do understand how breastmilk is better than formula in terms of antibodies. I aim to direct latch and breast feed my baby (more so because, I know I would hate washing bottles, and formula milk is so expensive, and breast feeding can help  burn loads of calories). But if I am unable to do so (after great efforts), then I will just use formula milk. I was a formula milk baby, I was born blue, and had to stay in hospital .... and I turned out FINE.

But the annoying people are those who feel every mother should breastfeed.. no matter whattttttttt.

I see that a lot in the mummy groups on Facebook. Like one woman would write a post asking other members for advice on weaning her baby. So people comment and say - oh when I weaned my son, I got a pill from the gynea to stop milk production. Someone else will say she used cabbage leaves to cut supply. Perhaps another will comment to say you should gradually cut down the number of feeds, to prevent engorgement. BUT there will always be at least one Nazi cow who will say - "Breast milk is best for baby... formula milk pales in comparison."

HELLO! You are missing the point here, the lady is asking about advice on weaning, not asking if breast milk or formula milk is better. One cannot breast feed a child to infinity okay. And I'm pretty sure the mummy who wants to wean her baby off breast milk, knows how great breast milk is. She is making an informed decision to wean and she has her reasons for wanting to do so. It is not for you to remind her how much better breast milk is. All she is asking is advice on how best to wean... if you don't know the answer, shut up. No need to comment about how great you are because you still breast feed despite blah blah...

You know, just last week, one mum was saying that she started supplementing her preemie with formula milk on the specialist's advice, as it would help with reflux because it's thicker than breast milk (this baby was a 28 weeker, so he was very premature and still in NICU), . Most members were encouraging her, and reassuring her that having to mix feed (by adding formula milk) is ok, and saying how well her baby has done so far. Then one person says:
This is a 28 week preemie leh! He didn't even make it to 3rd trimester and he was born already. I'm sure the doctors are not taking his nutrition lightly, and just suggesting formula milk on a whim and fancy. Yes you breastfeed, and you read a lot on google but you are no specialist. Formula milk is not poison man. So stop trying to talk mums out of using it when their baby needs it. Please get your head around that.

Then there are those mums who are over suppliers, and pump and pump and pump and hoard a whopping frozen milk stash. Which is fine... but don't you get how insensitive you are being by flaunting your over supply in those mummies FB groups by posting a picture of your freezer full of milk... and be all like - OMG look how much liquid gold I pumped today. Way too much for my little one.  While just a few posts below yours, there are women getting sad and desperate because their milk supply hasn't kicked in yet. These mummies FB groups exist for people to to support each other and seek advice from other mummies. Not for you to inflate your ego. (Seriously, how do you think a picture of your freezer bursting with milk is going to be beneficial to anyone?)

There are also some who make their breast milk into soaps and shower gels, bottle it up and give to their relatives and friends. Yes, breast milk is good for your skin.. but ... eeee.. yucks. I don't want to use your breast milk as my shower gel la.

The Pseudo Medical Fetal Medicine Specialist
Bahahaa... I have had enough of these 'specialists'. No medical back ground. No experience in the field of maternal fetal medicine or obstetrics... but like they've had a baby before, so it makes them specialists too.

Small belly... means your baby is too small. Even though I have friends who have huge bellies now, much larger than mine and their baby when scanned is measuring either the same as mine or smaller!

With regards to my placenta previa, oh boy, how these specialists have trivialized it... from telling me, nah you don't need a csection, your doctor wants it cos it's just convenient for him. (My placenta is completely over my cervix you know... if I labour, I will hemorrhage and my baby will be starved of oxygen because you cannot deliver the placenta first and then wait for the baby to come out after). So don't be so clever dispensing bullshit advice please.

There's also one friend who tried to get me to do Spinning Babies (this is for when your baby is not head down, you do this spinning exercise thing and get baby to go in the right position for birth, so not breech or transverse.)  But hello my dear specialist, placenta previa is not the same as just having the baby in the wrong position. In fact, my baby IS head down, and has been locked and ready in that position for many weeks now. My doctor was surprised when I mentioned that some idiot told me do spinning babies lol.  I'm not supposed to even do kegels or any exercise la, because the placenta being over the cervix is a very risky position for bleeds and abruption.

The I've Done it and I was Fine! type of mother
Why you so cautious???!!! I ate sashimi and raw oysters... and drank alcohol while pregnant and my baby turned out fine!

I avoid raw meat and raw seafood. I don't drink or smoke. Simply because I don't feel comfortable taking those risks. You can if you want to. But please don't act as if you deserve a medal for putting your baby through the most risks during pregnancy.

And because I'm still on modified bed rest... and my friends ask me out, but I can't go. There are some who say.. oh they were on bed rest too towards the end of their pregnancy.. but they still got up and went out shopping... and they were fine!!!

But they failed to see the difference between their bedrest and min... they were adviced to bedrest because they got too big like a whale, or had excruciating back aches so had to lie down more....  or their ankles swelled, so had to rest with feet up in bed more. Bed rest for the mother's comfort is NOT the same as being on bed rest for the baby's safety. Women who are on bed rest for complete previas do it to prevent a bleed, or to ensure that the baby gets enough oxygen and nutrients (because the position of the placenta over the cervix makes it work at a less optimum level, less blood flow to baby etc)... or for women who have even more serious conditions like incompetent cervix or Pre Eclampsia and need bed rest to prevent the baby from being born too prematurely.

The Lucky One
Ok, although I find this kind of pregnant woman mildly annoying.. it's through no fault of hers. I'm just envious that she has an uncomplicated and problem free pregnancy. I would also like to be out and about, and paint the nursery, and go shopping in actual physical shops... but because of my previa restrictions, I can't. But it's ok, I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel... not long more to go.  :)

Did you meet any annoying types of people while you were pregnant?? Also I hope as hell I don't become one of these types of annoying women later on.. and start posting pics of my freezer full of breast milk lol... Please tell me if I do. (I understand how some women feel it's an accomplishment la, because it's hard work, but not everyone is bothered about how much breast milk you can pump and hoard)!

6 comments:

  1. On #1: Although I ended up only using gas during labour, I will never underestimate the use of epidural again. The contractions were so painful that I waved the white flag at the last minute despite being warned against using it by my mum and mil. Only thing was by the time I waved the flag, it was time to deliver. Everyone's pain threshold is different so don't totally cut off that option.

    On #2: As much as I had grand plans to exclusively breastfeed, I am a low supply mama. I didn't even have colostrum when my baby was born. Plus she is rather small when born so there is no way she can rely on her reserves while waiting for my milk to kick in. I am formula feeding her now and just pumping out whatever little milk I have to feed it to her. By the way, it is day 6 and I am only able to pump out about 10ml worth. That's how low my supply is. Totally agree with you; there is really nothing wrong in feeding your baby formula milk.

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  2. Anonymous4:18 pm

    Actually, you may discover who among your friends you'd be better off without after u give birth. It was the case for me. Childbirth can change friendship dynamics I find, and on the extreme negative end, brings out competitiveness in some. Bizarre I know. It's almost like 'I can and will prove to you how much better I have done/did/do this with my baby' (or in some cases theoretical babies since they don't even have kids but just, u know, Google la). I had someone (no kids) actually say to me 3 days after I gave birth 'hey how r u just wanted 2 say remember 2 bring baby to park it's good 2 expose him 2 healthy bacteria'. Like wtf!?!?! First of all no baby, second, never even pushed a baby out and had stitches in her vagina, third, I got ask her for her dumbfuck advice !? Google has given rise to idiots and these days and I find that the best way to shut someone up is 'i am his/her parent and know what's best for him/her and I would not presume to lecture others on what's best for their children' :)

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    Replies
    1. Omg whattttttt

      I hope my friends with kids don't get competitive though. It's ugly. Plus I will hate hanging out with them if they are the kind like - how much ur baby weigh? Oh mine was heavier.

      - 6months she not crawling yet? Oh mine was flying aero planes by then😂

      - my baby goes to so and so (atas) child care/play Grp or whatever they call those... Yours u send to cheapo neighborhood one??

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  3. xinyi4:34 pm

    I love your post! :)

    Im a low supply mum and cried like mad for first 2 weeks, seeing my baby screaming while being latched was so stressful. And I cried even worse while browsing FB seeing other mums posting huge stash of pumped milk. Lucky my hubby was very supportive, comforting me and say it's ok to give bb FM.

    All the best to your breastfeeding journey!
    And safe delivery too :)

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  4. Love ur post! Haha! I remember during my first child
    Labour , I finally cave in and took Epi aft 25 hrs of intense labour! I dunno why I was Soo silly not taking up earlier. My late mum used to me to say "never take Epi as it will hv repercussions later on..."

    Anw... Fast forward second child labour, I immediately requested upon admission. And I gave birth smiling with ease. No screams no intense push. And what my gynae said next made me laughed. After 10 minutes of pushing with epidural effects still full, and as she slowly pulled my Son out of my V, she said to the attending nurse and me, "This is a beautiful epidural birth!" The Nurse excitedly agreed. Lol! L

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  5. Hi Holly babe!
    I love reading your blog!! I can tell from your post that you're such a real person and indeed I have experience n heard so much negatives and anxiety mother friends highly influenced by the fb/forum group to be a different person after giving birth! Sigh.... I just hope she will realized one day as she is being super sarcastic towards me now.... No comments ��

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