Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Dating God and Working at the Disco Ferry

Last week, a girlfriend of mine was telling me that her husband (for whom English is not a first language) asked her how to spell a word while he was tapping away on his phone. She spelt it for him. And then forgot about it.

Later, she was annoyed to find that he used that word as part of a compliment on another woman's sexy Instagram photo! Eeeyer!!!!  I want to punch him! I told her, if she had known prior why he wanted that word spelt out for him, she should have mangled the spelling on purpose! LOL. She agreed... if only she had known. Haha.

Then thinking back to when I had dated men who didn't speak English as a first language, or just didn't have a good grasp of English, how sometimes the lack of fluency and even different accents can give rise to rather hilarious outcomes. So I decided to ask my Facebook friends to share if they had any funny experiences.
Here are my favourites:

Oh My God
This was a Swedish guy with whom I only had a few dates with. But on one of the dates, he did some something mildly impressive (I forget what.... maybe he like bent a fork in half or some shit). My reaction was to exclaim. "Oh my God!"

He must not be familiar with that phrase because... he immediately blushed, and said that he wasn't God. And no no, he can't accept that I think of him as a god. So literal!
Ah?? Yao mo gow chor?!

Disco Ferry
A friend shared this with me. She was in Bali for a holiday and had met a local Balinese guy. They got along well, and started hanging out.

She asked him: "So where do you work?"
Balinese guy: "At Disco Ferry"
Wow...so cool! He works on a party boat... or maybe that's the name of a club in Bali. How exciting! Can't wait to see this place!

Towards the end of her holiday, he finally took her to where he works. It was a mall.
Discovery Shopping Mall.   DISCOFERRY.


Colonel Sanders
This one happened with my own husband. Because he used to be unfamiliar with who's who in our political scene and also, KFC is not very popular where he grew up.

President Tony Tan was on TV some years ago, he pointed to him and said "That's your president??? He's the guy who waved at me when I was near Swisshotel yesterday."

David: "I was wondering who he was, I just responded Fit Like (means how are you)?!"
David: "What's his name?"
I jokingly said:  "Colonel Sanders!"   (Because a lot of Singaporeans do think he looks like Colonel Sanders. We don't mean anything malicious with this reference. It's cute. Lol.)

David: "Oh.. he's a colonel???!"

My joke fell flat.



And Tuck
This is a hilarious one from my Facebook friend.

Her husband's mother tongue is French. So back then while they were both living in Singapore, he received a bill in the post.

Him: Chérie I received a bill asking me to pay $240 for my scooter, is it normal?
Her: Where did it come from?
Him: And tuck
Her: What?
Him: And tuck
Her: Huh? What is that?
Him: (he got agitated) You should know! You work in insurance. And tuck! And tuck!
Her: WTH! Can I see the bill please...

He handed her the bill. 


And tuck is.....

NTUC  


A lift in his Ferrari

Eons ago, I was clubbing at Zouk with my girlfriends. One of them had chatted up a rather Cheena guy. Then the lot of us decided to go to another club.

The Cheena guy offered to drive us there.

I said :"But there's 6 of us! How to fit??!"

Cheena guy who mixes Ls and Rs, "Can fit one. I drive Ferrari."
Woah! Some of my girlfriends got super excited... wah Ferrari leh!!! All of us tottering out of the club with Cheena guy.

I was still confused. How is he going to fit 6 girls in his Ferrari??!

We got to the car park...
Turns out he was trying to say "I drive a Lorry"

Bahaha... despite our shock, in our high heels and hot dresses we STILL all climbed on the back of his pick up truck and headed to out next party. (I can't remember what happened the rest of the night... but I think being young, we just went with the flow. This unglam moment was just a minor set back. Lol.)


White Suspenders
OK last one. This was shared by a Facebook friend.

A day before her wedding, her hubby's grandaunt was dishing out some last minute serious advice..
She told the groom - "Tomorrow you gotta wear a new white suspender."
Thinking suspender is the 2 rubber clip holding up the groom's trousers, she said "No need suspender la!"


Grandaunt looked at her like she's a sicko and walked off... Confused, she was like nothing wrong right? Wear suspender for what?

Apparently to them suspender = men's brief (underwear)



Grandaunt must have thought she can't wait to get hubs clothes off after church wedding. Hahahaha

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:40 pm

    thanks for all your effort in collecting these experiences to share with us

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for sharing! Cracked me up at work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2:36 pm

    Thank you for sharing. The NTUC joke was super funny. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete