Friday, March 21, 2014

Contempt

I'm just in the coach right now, already had a nap, so I thought I'd blog to pass the time. :)
 The topic on my mind at the moment is Contempt. You know, that feeling of scorn for someone.They say familiarity breeds contempt. And it's true... I don't know if it's because after you're so close to someone for years, then you stop bothering to make the effort to be polite or nice (lol)? Or if it's because after a long time people are bound to start grating on your nerves (some more than others).
As usual, when we travel, I've got to handle all the bookings, and I always use my card to pay for it online. So I got to remember to take my card with me. Then I hold on to the passports too. And I printscreen maps in advance just in case we can't find our hotel. You know, anal retentive stuff like that. Only, I don't enjoy being a control freak... I much rather someone else do all that, and I just tag along for the adventure. But if I just sat back and relaxed, nothing would get done or sorted!

So you can imagine, everytime we travel anywhere, I'm highly strung during the starting bit of the journey. So we got to the coach pick up point. And already I'm thinking, ok, I've got to look for the office because it says on the print out that I must collect the boarding passes before getting on the coach. We were standing in front of the coach (which was empty at the time) and my husband asks me, " What power pins in the bus?"

And, I'm already slightly flustered to begin with, and I'm like , "What pins?"

Then he is annoyed slightly, as if I should have known what he was talking about... "Is it three pins or what??!"

He was talking about the sockets... to charge his phone.

And I said exactly what was on my mind, " How should I fucking know?! This is the first time I'm even looking at this bus!"

Contempt.

(Turns out, these coaches have 3 pin sockets at the seats. )

This isn't the only time though.. I've caught myself many times of late, being scornful towards my husband (whom I do love very much). 

He's always on the phone. Like for a LOOOONG time each time. He's worse than a girl (esp compared to me cos I don't like talking on the phone. In fact, one of his pet peeves is that I always put the phone down too soon, and he usually has other stuff to tell me, but I'm like, "Ok, I gtg bye".  haha).

So the last couple of times we were at dinner, and he left the table when he had a phone call, I thought to myself, if he doesn't come back soon enough, he won't have any food left for him. We usually order some kind of a platter to share. And then I start eating it with such intent.  But both times that I acted like that... when I got to about halfway through polishing everything off the plate, I felt bad about it. Then I stopped and left the rest for him. But the fact that I would think and feel such scorn, and act upon it. Saddens and worries me. Is this normal?

Other than these few things, most other things are peachy. In fact, after I got pissed off when he expected me to know what kind of sockets the bus had... he made a mock sad face and walked towards the bus mimicking an old man with rickety legs and it made me laugh. 
This is off topic. but I'll just tell you anyway, lol. Yesterday, at home in the evening, we were both sitting on the sofa... and I was drinking a small bottle of Coke. I  purposely gulped it really fast (it's one of my indulgences... anytime I want to treat myself.. I usually buy nice chicken rice, a can of coke and down everything gleefully like a pig at home). So yeah, we were on the sofa, I gulped my coke and let out a huge Simpsons burp. (that's part of how I indulge myself, btw. It's very enjoyable. Just that it was the first time I actually did it in front of my husband). He was like "woah! Where did that come from?"

And I laughed... then asked , "are you disgusted with me?" Then he laughed and said , "no, it doesn't bother me at all." Hugs on the sofa.

See... how come contempt hasn't set in for him yet. Why am I such a horrible person.

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:30 pm

    *hugs*... know that feeling! haven't reached that point in my current relationship... hopefully it won't happen, but when it does, i hope i'll be able to navigate around it better than i did in my past relationships!
    (p/s: the post fizzy-coke belch... bestest feeling ever!)

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  2. Anonymous2:30 pm

    im like that with my fiance too. i handle all the admin stuff and he handles the finances. and i feel frustrated at times too.

    totally normal. though he and i both lash out at each other and make up 5 mins later.

    your husband is better than all of us lollll

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  3. tiffany2:32 pm

    lol, i puked my coke out at this part and can't stop laughing since then

    "he made a mock sad face and walked towards the bus mimicking an old man with rickety legs and it made me laugh. "

    thanks for making my day with your truthful and humorous writing

    nope i don't think you are abnormal. i felt exactly the same way towards my husband when he asked stupid question at inappropriate time. many times i tried to get back at him, instead make me feel stupid. i know he is careless he likes to put money around so instead of chiding him why not i help myself? now i am a few hundred dollars more richer, happier relationship without quarrel. why not? lol lol

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  4. My friend farted in front of the spouse, a burp is nothing lol

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  5. Anonymous8:02 am

    it's really really awesome that you're so introspective, after all, the first step to change is realization. if you didn't have this wonderful habit of reflecting then things would turn out a lot worse. it's normal to be like that, perhaps a part of it is having lived in singapore for so long and the high-pressure society just smothers everyone. i'm not saying anything justifies being a jerk but understanding the root of you contempt will help in managing it. good luck!

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