Wednesday, December 04, 2013

I Didn't Cry Walking Down the Aisle

I'm notorious for being sobby. I cry at weddings all the time... but surprisingly, I didn't cry at my own.
Months before my wedding, I was picking out songs to walk down the aisle to... I finally decided on The Piano Guy's version of Can't Help Falling in Love With You. And every time I listened to it and pictured myself walking down the aisle... I would be in tears! I thought... shit man... maybe I should pick out a song that's perhaps upbeat and made me less emotional. I did not want to cry my way down the aisle and end up looking like a mess!

I even started Googling and reading up on how brides tackled their wedding day waterworks. Maybe I can bite my lip very hard (no one can really see under my veil), or just look down on the floor and not look into the groom's face... or listen to my chosen wedding 'march' song until I was desensitized to it.


But you know what? As it turns out, I didn't need to worry about all that. In fact, the walk down the aisle was a breeze. Plus my dad was walking me down that aisle way too bloody fast, I was trying to get him to slow down without anyone noticing (In hindsight, I now realise the importance of having a rehearsal!).


I looked at the guests as I walked down the aisle, and I was so happy... I was just smiling all the way down. One thing I slightly regret... I didn't look at my husband-to-be untiI I got to the end of the walk and stood in front of him. It's almost as if I had for that moment, completely forgotten about him waiting there... (I know I feel so bad!). I just didn't look at him. Perhaps it was my subconscious knowing that if I didn't look into his face as I walked down the aisle, then I would not burst out in tears. I don't know. But if I could turn back the clocks, that is one thing I would change... I would have looked into his face and caught his gaze from afar, it was after all... our special moment, even if it meant I might cry. Well, that.... and I would have had a rehearsal walk with my father!


During our wedding after party, I asked my new husband if I looked good that afternoon in my wedding gown? He had of course never seen me in it before that walk down the aisle itself.... and yes, I was also fishing for compliments haha.


Then I asked him if he cried when he saw me? (You know how it is, you watch dozens of wedding clips on Youtube, and the groom is in tears at the first sight of his bride. And obviously, I had to ask him if he cried... because... well, I wasn't looking at him at the time.  -_-


And he said no, he didn't cry there.  (Hmph)


He said that before he walked through that ballroom, to take his place at the front to wait for me walk down the aisle... he had gone to the toilet. And when he was in the restroom (it was empty thankfully)... he suddenly had the sobs. No not the scared, What-have-I-got-myself-into-! type sobs.... hahaa. But the choked up with emotions kind. 


I was surprised to hear this because I had the exact same thing that morning! I thought I would have a restless night before my wedding... but I actually slept like a log. Then the alarm clock rang, for me to get ready for my big day... I woke up and burst into tears. So weird. I never anticipated that.  It wasn't a sad or scared cry, it's like the moment finally sank in. In the months leading up to the wedding, I was just in constant motion sorting things out, sweating the small stuff with regards to the event flowing smoothly. And then suddenly, that very morning it was- Omg, I can't believe I'm getting MARRIED today!  *Epic heaving sobs*


 

Did you cry at your wedding?

P/S- time flies... We've been married 10 months already.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:51 am

    you're so cute holly! im getting married next year :p real relaxed about it though haha

    btw when you picked out dresses at the studio wouldn't your husband have seen you in it already?

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    1. Nope, in our tradition (and his too), it's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before her wedding day. Also I didn't get my dress in a studio here, I ordered from a factory in china and it was posted to my home. :)

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    2. Anonymous10:51 pm

      what if the dress didn't fit!! lol you really took a chance on it. Glad it worked out for you :)))

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    3. Haha... I ordered so early. So if didn't fit , can alter or buy one off the rack. And I'm pretty standard proportioned... Just got the uk6. It fit fine.

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    4. Anonymous12:12 pm

      lol you can really keep a secret.

      I'm the type who is always telling my partner about my day everyday so if i get the dress i will be like "i received the dress today! i wonder if you will like it. want to see?!" and there goes the surprise. hahaa

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  2. Anonymous11:59 am

    if I get too emotional, but couldn't afford to cry (for example, when I was on duty); what I would do is to think of some funny scenes from 'Friends' or 'The Office' or 'The Big Bang Theory'....

    is it healthy to suppress the true emotion this way ?

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  3. love this Holly. thank you for sharing xoxo

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