October is the month of all things ghoulish. When it comes to sex toys, forget about the rabbit... here are the top 10 scariest contraptions for the bedroom this Halloween.
Bad Vibes talking vibrator
This vibrator has a man's voice shouting abuses like- "Hell, can't you get a real man?" when the vibrator is in use.
This has 10 tongues on a wheel type contraption. Switch it on and the wheel rotates, with each tongue slapping down on you.
This takes vagina dentata to a whole new literal level. I suppose men who have twilight fantasies would want to stick their penises in that. I’d find it very worrying.
Death By Orgasm
This is a 10 Speed Scorpion Bullet Vibrator… and if that is not creepy enough, it crawls out of it’s own coffin.
Strap on Dildo Face Mask
Say what?!Something about this just screams Silence of the Lambs. Also, why would you need to strap a dildo to your face?
Boobs, penis and a vagina all on the same toy. It’s all so very disturbing.
Electrified Urethral Rod
Just the words ‘electrical’ and ‘urethral’ together in the same phrase makes me squirm. I wonder what a man must feel to have this 7 inch long electric probe inserted into his pee hole.
Does your bedroom fantasy involve being clawed to death by your man wearing these Freddy Krueger type hand accessories on his fingers? Go get some!
Full Body Straight Jacket
Nothing screams psycho more than bundling your lover up from head to toe in a black straight jacket.
The King DongSweet mother of god.
If you're looking to dress up as a couple this Halloween, check out my Couple Costume Ideas based on the iconic couples of 2013.