Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Why Nice Girls end up in Bad Relationships

Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that you should not be a nice girl. (I think I'm a nice girl!)
It's just that, nice girls have some character flaws which makes them end up in bad relationships!
Here's what I have realised (in hindsight)...

Nice girls fall for a person easily. We have a few nice dates with someone we like and suddenly we have our heads in the happy clouds. We may miss signs that the guy we are dating isn’t really interested or isn’t good for us. We make up excuses for his less desirable behaviour. Worse still, we think we are to be blamed for it.Then because we've invested more of our heart in it, we end up hurt when it all falls apart.

We perfume the pig. Of course, nice girls were brought up to be on their best lady behaviour... we only show the accommodating, giving side of ourselves. We plan the dates to suit him. We give him little surprises. We do all the calling and texting. The problem with this is that they guy no longer has to make any effort. He’ll think we will always be there, no matter how he treats us. And he's right.

Even if we did pick a good guy... if we keep up the 100% nice girl act, he’ll become less concerned with our needs and wants. He’ll act more selfishly, and the relationship will suffer.

I am this person in all my relationships. Don't do it. You won't win. Remember, reciprocity is key. Know what your boundaries and needs are. If he does something to upset you, say it. If he's not treating you right, change it. Of course, if you're with a guy whom you have to be an absolute bitch to be with... then he's not the right one either. But if you're a nice girl, and you're getting walked over all the time, maybe it's time to be nicer to yourself.

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