Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Since When was Pushing a Pram a Disability?

I don't hate the reserve seats on MRT trains. But I hate how perfectly abled people feel entitled to these seats. No, I don't mean normal people who sit in them when they are empty.... I mean those people who expect people to jump off these seats everytime they step onto the train.

1. The not very pregnant lady.
There's a slight bump... but she could also just be fat. I don't want to make the embarrassing mistake of offering my seat to a lady with a fat gut. If you really are pregnant but it's not even showing yet, but for some reason you already can't stand like a normal person, please just ask nicely for a seat. I would give mine to you.

2. The not that old aunty
Don't know if you noticed the illustration... the old person has a cane in the reserved seat pic. So what if you're in your 50s? That's still a decade younger than my mom, and my mom is perfectly capable of carrying the groceries etc, she does not feel entitled to any special seat on the MRT. Why should you?

Even better are those aunties who dye their hair, wear 'trendy' (*cough**cough*) clothes and even heels... then expect people to give them a seat on the train because they're old. If you're really that old and incapable of standing... how come you can wear heels huh? If you can do stuff like line dancing for hours every week, you don't need a special seat on the MRT, so suck it up.

3. Mothers with babies
Ok, if you're carrying your baby, I will offer you my seat. But since when was pushing a pram a disability? Bad enough you block the way with your huge pram/stroller. But if your baby is in the pram... you cannot just stand next to it, meh? Some people will automatically stand up and give up their seat to a mother with a stroller... but I just don't see the actual need to.

4. Children
Why would they need seats more than I do? OK, if' it's a child with a disability... I understand. But for a child who is strong enough to run around like a chimp during recess time, push other kids around at playgroup or stand on the seats in the train like a brat... I don't see why I should give up my seat to you.

5. Pseudo Old Farts
They look like so poor thing, because so old, cannot even stand properly. Then you give them your seat. But later you realise actually they are damn strong. When the train doors open at their stop, they can push you out of the way... they can walk so fast so as to reach the escalator before anyone else does.

The other day, I was in the train... and the reserve seat was free (as someone alighted). I wasn't going for it but I was already standing very close to it (I was getting off at the next stop). But the old fart Chinese man  who was sitting next to the reserved seat, hurriedly put his hand on the reserve seat (like he so scared I was going to sit in it). Then pointed to a 10 year old Chinese girl standing near me... and gestured her to sit there. Nope, they were not related. They got on at different stops. Not sure if race had anything to do with him offering her the seat. Or was it purely because she was a child. But if I was tired or sick, and wanted that seat, I would be damn pissed off with what that man did. Maybe I would just sit on his damn hand haha.

What makes her deserve the seat anymore than me? She's not a baby, she's not disabled... she can run and probably do cartwheels even.

I worry that one day I will snap at some idiot on the train and I'll end up on Stomp. Lol.
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Side note:
Been reading posts on FB about how Guide Dogs (for the visually imparied) have been having a tough time in Singapore. Like not allowed on buses. Some security guard chased one out of Tanglin Mall, so the owner had to fumble her way around the mall on her own.  His reason being that the dog will scare other people and children in the mall.  -_-  These are highly trained dogs who GUIDE their owners around obstacles like stairs, corners, other people etc... they're not even gonna lick you, let alone chase or bite you. So disappointed with how dumbass some Singaporeans can be.

I also wish there were more pet friendly places here. You'd be surprised at how some people literally jump out of the way (into bushes even) when I walk Lola. My God. She's the size of a teacup lah. And she's not even the kind of dog who would go sniffing strangers while walking in public. Plus if we walk past people on pavements, she avoids them by walking in between my legs even.
Received my Both Character Pet Carrier from KohePets.com last week. Lola loves it... can go kai kai in comfort lol. It's only $34 now (usual price $40).

29 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:07 am

    if you sit on ah pek hand, he will die as a happy person

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  2. Anonymous11:47 am

    these have been my observations: while on a moving bus/train, the ground is unstable. strollers are hard to handle. imagine trying to stabilize a stroller with a fidgety kid inside while trying to keep your balance clinging to a pole with a diaper bag perched on your shoulder? help the poor lady out lah... let the poor thing have a seat otherwise all and sundry may fall to the ground.

    as for letting kids take a seat, kids fall down a lot more easily on a moving vehicle than on a playground (bad inner sense of balance, under-developed motor neuron skills, what have you...) so we let the kids have a seat. better they sit than for them to fall and start wailing and make the journey even worse than it is for the rest of us...

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  3. Anonymous11:49 am

    OMG! I so agree with the pram stroller and kids one. I mean the child is comfy in the pram and as long as its not in the belly- not necessary to offer seat. As for normal active kids- nothing wrong is standing like the rest. Honestly some people behave like the seat is owed to them!

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  4. Anonymous11:51 am

    I am not saying if the kids are toddlers and standing , then it's best they sit lest they should fall - i am talking about kids who are like in pri school etc

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  5. Anonymous12:09 pm

    Fully agreed that pushing a pram is not a disability but there are the following reasons why they might need a seat:
    1) Babies or toddler can't keep still for long even if they are in a pram. The Mother will have to entertain them during the train trip.
    2) Some Babies or toddler needs to carry on & off even if they are in a pram as they might get cranky on a train trip (You might not find a crying cranky baby in a train)
    3) Seats near the entrance is so much easier when it comes to alighting with the pram.
    4) Having the pram in parked at the seats beside the entrance are so much easier as it won't be blocking the way ( the length of the pram takes up the space of at least 2 seats space so if the Mother were to take up the seat in the middle it will hinder the leg space of the person beside her).

    Above are some of the reasons why they need the seat but of cause if there are non-disability beside the entrance of cause that will be a better place for them. And if or when an elderly or someone that needed the seat more than them come along they might give up their seat to them, at least it is what I do.

    You might be able to understand it when you have a chance to take a train trip with a baby in the pram. And people give up their seats to mother with pram because they know that it is so much a hussel & not easy to travel with a baby in a pram.

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    Replies
    1. I am a mother 2times over and have juggled pram with baby and bags. There is absolutely NO NEED for a mum to be seated while your baby is in the pram. Why do you think prams have handlebars so you can hang your bag? And don't forget there is a space below the pram seat to put things as well. It is terrible how most women think they are entitled to a seat just pushing a pram. And I agree with the blogger about kids and seats. Parents pay to send their kids to kiddy gyms and they expect their kids to get a seat on the mrt?? Ridiculous.

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  6. Anonymous12:13 pm

    I beg to differ with you on the Not-so-Pregnant Lady part.

    Usually, pregnancies in the early phases are worse due to morning/motion sickness. But they are the ones usually at the losing end, since they do not have a huge bump to indicate they're pregnant.

    Something should be done to help women in their early phases of pregnancies on their MRT travel.

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  7. Anonymous12:16 pm

    Hey dear, you will only understand some things when you become pregnant or a mother with a baby in pram yourself. When pregnant, even with a small bump, we would much prefer to sit down. Its not that we cant stand for whatsoever reason like a normal person (as you sarcastically put it), but we prefer to sit as at times we may feel nauseas fr morning sickness, travelling etc..and even if we do not feel sick, its still safer for us to sit cos especially during the first 3 months (when the bump may not be showing!) its risky for us to have a fall etc, we may just lose our precious little one! And for the stroller.. lets just say wait till youre pushing one yourself. A stroller weighs more than 6kg on average, its not THAT easy to navigate (definitely easier fr a bystander point of view), and what more with a diaper bag (trust me, not light with all that extra clothes, milk bottles, hot water) and maybe a screaming baby? Its stressful for the mum. Does it hurt you so much to give up your seat? Btw its not just for the disabled or elderly. That seat is meant for someone who needs it more than you do! Some food for thought here.

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  8. Anonymous12:48 pm

    At times I wonder if you're intentionally narrow-minded in blog posts just to farm responses from people who have common sense.

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  9. Anonymous2:47 pm

    Pushing a pram may not be a disability, but perhaps a shocking lack of empathy should be considered one. Sure, there are bozos who think they should get a seat just because they are . But have you perhaps considered that there are many others who really do need the seats? Think some people who have commented above have already pointed that out - especially the "not obviously pregnant" part. Pray that you have a symptom-free, fatigue-free pregnancy when your time comes. The first and last trimesters are when it's usually the worst in terms of symptoms and fatigue. Some people have it easier and some don't.

    Sometimes it's best not to judge too harshly or quickly. It's just a seat.

    It's ironic that you mocked how "perfectly abled people feel entitled to these seats" when you yourself feel entitled to judge whether or not they need the seats.

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    Replies
    1. I would not call it a lack of empathy... I mean.. it's a pram. If she sits down or stands beside the pram... I dont see any difference it would make, to be honest. Ppl in previous comments say the pram is 6kg, or gets in the way of others... etc. yeah so push it to a corner by the door or wherever it doesnt block ppl's way, and stand there. If u sit at the reserved seat.. the pram actually DOES block the way. So I don't understand the argument. And someone else (not you) said the pram not stable.. huh so if the person sits down, the pram will become stable issit? Again. doesnt make sense to me.

      Yes it's just a seat, I don't mean to judge people but it just irks me tht some people think they're entitled to it when they really dont need it.

      Of course if its a not so pregnant lady with a bad bout of morning sickness ( or anyone who is feeling unwell for tht matter)... if they ask me politely for a seat (doesnt hv to be reserved seat even) I would give it to them. I already said that. Of course I'm not going to just offer my seat if they appear perfectly fine to me ( I am not a mind reader)... so the onus is on them to ask for it not just expect it.

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    2. Anonymous3:24 pm

      unstable person (unseated) + movable pram = harder for person to balance/stabilize themself and to control the pram
      stable seated person + movable pram = easier for person to control the pram
      really... just go out and take public transport with your friends who are either disabled, pregnant or busy balancing/juggling their babies/kids/diaper bags... maybe they can make you understand this better...

      Delete
    3. Anonymous1:15 am

      Not all infants/toddlers are willing to sit still for the whole train ride. There will be moments when the child will want to be carried. If the mother is seated, she will be in a better position to react when the child gets cranky. I am speaking from personal experience. Perhaps u will understand next time when u become a mummy

      Delete
  10. Anonymous5:20 pm

    I avoided traveling on trains and buses when i was in my first trimester because 1) I had a bad bout of morning sickness, 2)my bump wasn't showing, 3)I didn't have the faith in fellow commuters to give up their seats for me even if i ask politely- tried that just once on a train and the young lady simply rolled her eyes and started fidgeting on her phone.

    I agree with you on the kid part. But then again, mine is still growing in my tummy so I can't give a fair assessment on that.

    My view is that if everyone can be a little more gracious and civic minded, Singapore will be a much more pleasant place to live in. Then there will be no need for any hard and fast rules on who should be more deserving of a seat.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Anonymous2:31 am

      I agree with 3). I'm not pregnant but one time i was carrying a huge backpack on the mrt at peak hour, I had motion sickness so bad that I had to squat down in the middle of nowhere cause I couldn't even see properly. No one even paid any attention to me, much less offer me a seat.

      I think as long as you don't belong to the 4 kinds of disability shown in the pic no one gives a shit about whether you actually need a seat>:(

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  11. SharonR5:44 pm

    It can be difficult to tell if one is pregnant or simply fat/bloated/premenstrual. I am not an expert bump spotter or a walking ultrasound machine. I find it rude to stare at someone's tummy or even assume they are pregnant when they are not?

    Not many women appreciate assumptions like this.

    While I understand the morning sickness and feeling shitty/vulnerable in the very early stages of pregnancy, it would not terribly hurt if one can communicate this nicely when requesting for a seat.




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  12. Anonymous11:20 pm

    Holly, what happened to Cookie your dog?

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  13. Anonymous12:56 am

    I think it's not about giving your seat up to those shown in the picture above the reserved seat. It's deciding to give your seat up to those who need it more than you do. But that said, I don't feel offended if people offer their seats to me (I think I look quite frail and not because I look preggy), but will sometimes make my day from the thoughtfulness of other people.

    AND. I am one of those who will walk out of the way of dogs. It's because I rather be safe than sorry. Even small sized dogs can go crazy at any time and bite you. Their teeth are no less sharp than large sized dogs? Maybe this is something a dog lover (and not afraid of dogs) can't understand. But in the case of a guide dog, I will probably give it a wide berth as well, but will not mind because it is there for the purpose of guiding somebody.

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  14. Anonymous8:20 am

    I think ppl who left negative comments, tried to defend for the mothers with strollers, pregnant ladies etc should just read this post with an open mind. Dont think at any point of time did Holly say "no, these people should NOT sit at the reserved seats." Her pov is just that people in these categories should not think that they are ENTITLED to the seat, that the rest of the commuters are OBLIGED to give up their seats. Nobody owes them a seat! The main point is just that if these people feel that they NEED the seat, just ask nicely and not expect others to read their mind and give up their seats automatically. How do we know if a lady with a slight tummy is suffering from morning sickness in her first trimester and not just errr, fat? O.O im sure holly is one of those who will give up her seat graciously if ppl ask her nicely too.

    Also for the part about dogs. It's understandable that not all people like dogs but they dont have to scream at the sight of one, think that dog owners should keep their dog away. Because dogs have as much rights to walk the goddamn path you are walking on. And those dogs being kept as pets are not going to bite at passerbys unless you guys actually provoke them. I dont understand the above comment about how small dogs have razor bites like big dogs, and he / she will only not mind if its a guide dog cuz its purpose is to guide people. You mean other dogs have no purpose on earth meh. And i dont think lola or any other dogs will wana dirty their teeth by biting you! Hahah

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  15. Anonymous10:53 am

    good post.. I do agree that SG needs more gracious people but towards those who really needs them and not those who banks on "loop" holes in people's graciousness... ever seen parents carrying their child out of their pram and push an empty pram once they are in the cabin and place the child down into the pram once they got offered a seat...

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  16. Anonymous11:24 am

    Your post title sounds really rude. It's not about disability entitlement, but it is about civil mindedness to give the seat to somebody else who needs it more than you do (if you happen be sitting there).
    Sure, if you see the child as mere 'luggage'or 'goods' being pushed around, then the person pushing the 'luggage' don't need it. Do you seriously think the child just sit quietly the entire time during the journey? Do you know what happen before they board the train??
    I wish you the luxury of having a car so you wont have to deal with pram, diaper bag, fidgety child while you are on unstable moving train.
    (For your info, I have a young child and my own car so I don't have to deal with that. BUT if I see someone with pram, I will give up my seat)
    Sure, mums with prams shouldnt feel entitled but what's the deal? Doesn't civil mindedness start from oneself? Have you ever received a kind gesture ( however small) and pay it forward?
    I totally don't get it that an extremely fit, toned person whining about who shouldn't be 'entitled' to the seat and specially highlight mothers with pram in blog title.

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  17. Anonymous12:03 pm

    Do you mean to say that for aunties in trendy hairstyle n heels who need a seat, they cannot doll up? You will grow old one day, my dear. You may still like heels, and won't you appreciate it if a younger lady like yourself give her seat instead of dissing the elderly you just because you still like dolling up and be in heels? Spread a little kindness, I dont understand the negativity of this post and think the worse of people..

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  18. Anonymous1:12 pm

    I don't get how you used to be a school teacher. You don't ever think before you put out a blog post. You don't see how stupid you come across. You come across as an incredibly selfish, and self absorbed person. On one hand you can complain that people aren't pregnant enough, or old enough to be given priority to seats on buses and trains, on the other (very ironic) hand, you call others dumbarses for not allowing guide dogs into malls and buses?

    I feel like my brain cells die every time I read your blog. And I do it any way! So I must be pretty dumb too!

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  19. Anonymous1:13 am

    @Anon 8.20am Uhh. I'm sure the dogs have the right to walk the way, and so do I apparently. But that said, do read clearly that I do NOT scream and DEMAND the dog to be taken off the path. I take the onus on myself to AVOID the path, so I'm giving the path to the dog??? If u don't understand what I'm commenting on, then I have nothing to say. :)

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  20. Anonymous1:15 am

    @Anon 8.20am It's not about whether the dog has a purpose in life or not lol. (Not like they will get to choose) But whether they are well trained or not. I'm sure you've seen the horrors on dog whisperer. lol.

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  21. Anonymous9:41 pm

    I hate dog owners like you. How do we as strangers know if your dog is not going to sniff at us or bite us when we walk past it? We don't even know you or your dog's temperament. I prefer not to be in contact with their snot/slobber when I'm out in a nice outfit. I want to avoid unnecessary trouble by getting out of the way whenever I see a dog, because you can be damn sure that I'll be super pissed off if a dog starts sniffing me and leaving all its snot on my bare legs/shoes and I have no access to a shower. And yes, I've had that experience before. Not everybody are dog lovers like you, have you ever thought that some people might not actually like dogs/pets? You are too inconsiderate and self-entitled. Most dog lovers are self-entitled like you too, and it really irks me. Thank goodness there aren't many of you here in Singapore.

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  22. Anonymous4:26 am

    Kids should learn from a very young age to RESPECT the elderly and thus, give up THEIR seats to the latter. I cringe whenever I see parents hurriedly pushing their well-abled child to sit down. Shouldn't you as parents show a better example and sit down yourselves?! Your child should learn that you need the seat much more than them. And thus the reason why many kids go haywire these days cos their sense of respect is skewed and parents can't seem to control them!

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  23. Anonymous3:49 pm

    I don't see the need for you to post this anyway, stupid.

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  24. Anonymous4:34 am

    I totally agree on your points about children AND mothers with PRAMS. What i see is that most of the children (around 3-5 yrs old) dont even sit properly on the sit anyway. They will be like standing on the seat and playing around. And ANYBODY PUSHING PRAMS, they do not need to be given the seats. Period.

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