Thursday, November 22, 2012

Your Child is Kinda Mediocre ... at Best

OK parents out there... don't lynch me. This is merely a general observation and not targeted at you or your child (unless you are exactly what I am about to describe below...).

I don't think your child is as smart as you say or think they are. Now let me preface this by saying that I do not hate children, (I used to be a school teacher!) and I would one day want to have my own child too (possibly an only one). But I do hope I don't become the typical deluded parent. (Some of my friends are awesome parents btw, so there's hope yet).

You know the ones... they show you every video of their child doing things you're not interested in. They lose themselves even on Facebook...  "Oh this is my colleague Sandra's FB profile, hmmm, I never realised she was a six month old baby!" Having your child's photos in FB albums, on your wall, or even in your profile pic with you in it is fine. But don't completely lose yourself, your baby is not you.

I'm also peeved when strangers with babies look at me expectantly whenever I happen to look at their child... like they expect to hear me gasp "OH MY THAT'S THE CUTEST BABY I'VE EVER SEEN"... when the honest truth is that it's just kinda regular looking ... or worse still, ugly.

I get annoyed with relatives and friends too sometimes. “Oh, look what James did today. He's so smart for his age!”

Oh, so he can crawl. But that's what babies do... they crawl then they walk... it's called growing up, they won't be limp necked babies forever, you know. Why do you point it out as if your child can fly?

How come you don't point out other obvious things while you're at it. Like.... "Hey look, my child can shit himself and roll in it."

Yes, you should be proud of your child. Give them the best opportunities and foundation you can.  I am all for positive reinforcement and praising their achievements. But I’m continually amazed at how much parents laud their children as being ‘ahead of the rest’ when they are really just on par. 

A two year old child being able to speak isn't exactly Shakespeare reincarnated. It just means he does not have any speech or learning defects.

When I have my child, will you hear me (or read me) go on and on about how smart Holly Jr. is because she can drink from a straw without poking it up her nose? Will I too boast about my child's mediocrities? I hope not.

Parents, do enlighten me. And non parents, what do you think?

P/S : If I have indeed mentioned that your baby is cute, or good looking, or clever... it means I really think so. I don't go around saying all babies and children are great.

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On a less grumpy note...

I just got this Cutie Birds Flutter Skater Dress from TheLadyWears in the mail. LOOOVE it. So cute.
Semi sheer chiffon top, best with spag or tube underneath
The skirt is lined. Love the soft flowy material.
Flutter Ruffle Sleeves and Cute Owl print
 Quote HOLLYJEAN at The Lady Wear's website to receive $2 off any purchase :)

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 Quick reads- Gangnam Style for guys... how to incorporate this look in your holiday wardrobe.
Party hard this season girls but don't be a victim of Date Rape. It's more common than you'd like to believe.
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Every week until Christmas, I'm giving my readers a mystery gift! One lucky winner with the correct answer will win this week's gift. So click here to view the clue and submit your answers. This contest is open to all Singaporeans. 

24 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:46 pm

    This is so funny and how true! I am not a parent myself (just a stepparent to 2 teens). But I really see acquaitances on FB and blogs bragging about their kids thinking they are Einsteins. I have experienced the "expectant" looks when I was working in child services a decade ago. They come in for interviews with very un-cute babies but expect you to go "go goo gaa gaa"....not meee! hahahaha

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  2. Anonymous1:30 pm

    you are just a bitch who want to be famous by writing in good english and pulling other people down... what esle you are good at? sex?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous #2 is an angry parent who regularly abuses her 7-yo daughter by saying she'll become a whore when she does things such as spilling milk on the floor. The parent also insists that "your" and "you're" are the same, and accuses anyone of being a rapist when they disagree.

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  4. Anonymous4:17 pm

    anon 1:30- please be more polite! is it her fault you can't spell the word else?


    im teaching and i there was this parent who went he's actually very smart you know!? and when i teach him he goes huh????

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  5. Anonymous4:31 pm

    I think the one above must have a really stupid child or is one.

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  6. Anonymous4:34 pm

    Wow, you sound sore HJ. Is it that time of the month??

    Please remind yourself of this post when your baby finally arrives.

    We don't want a case of the kettle calling the pot black, do we?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9:00 pm

    thumbs up to this post!! totally agree with what u wrote and i am a mother of 3. believe me, i have heard my share of raves and praises from so many parents who think their children are the best among the lot. and it can be really annoying. some of them are really smart, but not all, seriously. i know my kids are not. ha ha ha...

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  8. Anonymous10:14 pm

    There are times when parents are overdoing it. I'd love parents to say "he/she may not be the smartest or best looking kid but i still love him/her"

    Some kids are just plain annoying and the parents seems to condone that. Well, it's not the kid's fault...

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  9. Anonymous10:15 pm

    Anon @1:30 PM, not getting any? :P

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous4:08 pm

    It's not very nice of you holly. I'm a mother myself and I do agree that my child ain't the cutest or smartest but beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder so it's natural that some parents will or would like to think that their babies are indeed cute or smarter than the rest. It's not wrong but just a kind of instinct. Moreover sometimes cuteness lies in their actions and not their physical appearance.

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  11. Anonymous5:46 pm

    I'm looking forward to the contents of this site when HJ has her own child. I'm sure he/she is the cutest, smartest, and most behave kid in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous12:32 am

    No my son is really very very smart.
    By the way does the child need to be exceptionally good-looking and smart to get a little bit of your highness's approval/ attention?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10:46 am

    Holly, at times you can post the silliest of thoughts. I'm not a parent, not goo gah about babies but one do hope to have a child. However, I would never post such comments. You flip and flop your thoughts and attitudes depending on who you are trying to impress. I don't believe it is a conscious process but I would suggest you go back through everything you have ever posted and see how things you feel are ok or cool now wasn't the case a few years back. Sometimes not even that far back. There is enough hate and stupidity in the world, lets not add to it with random thoughts that really are not very well considered.

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  14. Anonymous12:40 pm

    every proud parent would want to think their kids are the best in the world. But these are the parents who love the kids the most and would make sure they are given the care and concern. Unlike some parent who dont give a damn and say their kids are stupid and all. I rather bear with a overly proud parent than the torture of watching a parent ill-treat the kid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA5Ei8NGgAk

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  15. Anonymous2:15 am

    i suggest you guys go into the teaching world in order to understand how annoying and absurd some parents can be. i totally agree with holly. anyway, why are some of you talking about her child and his/her possible capability? she mentioned it clear that she wishes not to be those kind of parents who think too highly of their children. i don't think she was targeting the kids, rather giving an example of an absurd parent. this is her opinion, no need to be rude by mentioning anything sexual. totally out of point. if you want to argue, argue with some sense. and to the mother who commented, not every opinion has to be nice. live with it.

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  16. Anonymous1:45 pm

    It's really true that one needs to be a parent to truly understand the love between parent and child.

    Guess she just has not reach that stage yet.

    Hopefully she will one day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous1:05 pm

      Well said.

      Delete
  17. Anonymous7:00 pm

    I find that this post is just a joke!
    She is currently only at the stage of being engaged, not even married, and definitely not a parent.
    She should post such entry only when she is in the position to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous12:55 pm

    Lol... I am one of those with only my kid as my DP. Oppz.

    But my child is definitely not the cutest or smartest I would say. I love her the way she is hence that proud display of pics. =P

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  19. Anonymous9:23 pm

    I think it's important for some parents to realise that the people around them are not obligated to go ooh and ahh and fawn over their kids just because they are kids! I'm like Holly in that I wouldn't say so-and-so's child is cute for the sake of saying it or being 'nice' when I really do not think they are cute! IMO I think empty flatteries hold little meaning and I would not hold it against anyone if they did not say that my child is cute or adorable.

    Then there are the 'little monsters' that think the world revolves around them giving them the right to throw tantrums and doing anything they please even though they're out in public. When the parents just stand there and smile adoringly without even a stern word, that just pisses me off.

    I'm sorry but not everyone thinks the sun shines out of your child's backside! I accept it's difficult to discipline a tantrum throwing child in public especially when all eyes are on you, but I do not think sitting there and giving the child an encouraging smile is the way to go. I've personally fallen out with a friend because her son had rummaged through my closed hand bag while it was kept in a spare bedroom and started playing with it while I was in the kitchen.

    If I had left my handphone out in plain sight and easy reach, i would concede it's my fault (knowing there are children around), but this just took the cake. Both parents just sat there while I struggle to retrieve my phone. Talking nice didn't work. Trying to pry the phone out of his sticky fingers and trying to tempt him with other distractions didn't work. This child is 6 years old and his parents just stood there while I tried to to blow my top. In the end, he's just a child, I dislike his manners but I blame his parents. Well, sorry for my rambling but thinking about it still makes me mad. Considering this is not the first time this has happened, nor am I the only person, the couple and their son has become persona non grata for all future gatherings.

    Back to the topic, be proud of your kids and gush over their achievements however small they may be. Just be aware that not everyone will be interested. Close friends (with kids or no) will gush over them with you, friends with kids are more able to share your sentiments, but most people with no children of their own will find it hard to share your excitement. That does not make us child haters, nor does that make us mean people.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous9:05 pm

    I can totally identify with this post and have been looking for someone in Singapore who share the same sentiments. Most of the time, the deluded parents (to clarify, not all parents are deluded and some are totally cool) just sing the same tune - you do not have your own kid, therefore you do not understand. My personal pet peeves:

    1) Parents who use their child as an excuse for their own selfish desires.
    I have an aquaintance who insist on dining at certain places (at the inconvenience of others) because it is supposedly child-friendly. Most often than not, the 'child-friendly' place is crowded and crammed with sharp-edged tables. I have since realised that the 'child-friendly' places are always near her home. Icing on top of the cake- she drives.

    2) Boasting about their child's bratty behaviour.
    I really don't get why some parents brag about how their kid just bullied another kid. The same old stories are always told with a hint of pride. I always feel that they are fishing for compliments and expecting me to say "so clever" or something along those lines.

    3) Putting down other people's kid (behind their back of course)and imposing their upbringing beliefs on others.
    Is parenting a competition?

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  21. Anonymous11:58 pm

    This entry is SO DARN AWESOME! <3
    -Harlie

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous8:17 am

    Just read this entry after getting to know that you're pregnant (by the way, super jealous cause you being 3 months pregnant is the size of me now WTF). Just thought it will be quite interesting to bring this entry to your attention considering you are going to be a parent soon :)

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    Replies
    1. am 4 months now and still no baby belly And my friend whose baby measures a week smaller than mine, she's already getting offered seats on trains! But people will push me cos I look so not pregs. Ugh!

      Yah I haven't changed my opinion yet, I still look at other kids and think .. Meh.

      Delete