|Photo has no relation to this blog post but I'm just beautifying the page. LOL|
The thing is, he did consider asking her to marry him a couple of years ago. He was even talking to me about rings (I remember him moaning because she wanted a freaking expensive one.. if I remember correctly, it was like 10k). But he also told me that he wasn't going to ask until he was certain, but that it was crucial the make or break time (... 2 years ago).
The issues centered around her commitment to her career, which involves long hours and takes her out of Singapore a lot.
Fast forward to today... he's still in the same predicament. Firstly, you would think that whatever uncertainties he had about their relationship... 2 years ago would be settled by now? In that time frame that he has sat on this matter, just going with the flow... I have had 2 failed relationships, and then one much more successful relationship which is leading to marriage 2 months from now.
Sometimes you just have to swim against the tide to get there.
Yeah I had 2 failed relationships (that would be the Hungarian G, and HK bf) within a short span of time (and many many more if you consider my whole adult dating life).. so what? Many tears, heart breaks, criticism and judgement from others.
But you know what? All that passes, and it passes faster than you expect it to. One moment you feel like your heart has been ripped out of its cavity.. then the next moment, you find some reason (or someone else) to smile about. (I use moment in the very loose sense of the word of course).
Still, it's much better than sitting on one relationship for years on end when you feel it's not right for you.
Yes, marriage is an important thing and you need to think it through carefully before deciding to get married. But when you're mature, in your 30s plus, it seldom takes like 4 years for you to know if she's the one for you or not. So, my friend (and anyone else in this situation).. I ask.. what's holding you back?
Can you fix it? Yes- then do you want to fix it? Yes- so fix it and get on with it!
But if you know deep down inside you don't intend to marry her... don't string her along. It's not fair. You're keeping her away from her Mr Right too. So please... shit or get off the pot!
The worst thing you can do to a woman (who wants to settle down) is hint at marriage, keep her keen and then string her along for years because you're "uncertain"... then the relationship ends. After which... somewhere down the road, you meet the right girl and ask her to marry you within months of dating. Your ex will HATE YOU FOREVER for this, because you wasted years of her time and never proposed!
The thing which most people don't realise though is that when it's the right match, the decision comes so much easier and quicker. (Unless you're very very young lol... cos when you're still a kid, you fall in love and immediately want to marry him/her without regard of finances or much else.. lol that's a different story) .
It is not time that will "tell". It is your own volition.
Do you agree?
|End with another pic of me :) Neon Pink Sweater I'm wearing is from Lily Rae! (Launching tmrw night!)|