Friday, October 12, 2012

Ride Temptation Out


You know how when you're very angry about something and are about to do something rash... or when you just saw something very expensive that you kinda want to buy... people would generally advice you to "Sleep on it".

Well, the same applies to lust and the temptation to cheat.

I've just been giving it a bit of thought last weekend.. and it occurred to me that it makes complete sense  when a cheater says---

 "It Just Happened!"

I always always always used to call bullshit on that line. Because logically, I thought.. how could something like CHEATING just happen without you thinking and planning it?! What?? Did you accidentally just fall in bed together?!

But I've cracked the code. The key to all this "just" happening.. has nothing to do with unfortunate accidents...not even coincidence... but it has everything to do with impulse. So when a cheater says it "just happened" it means he/she gave in to impulse.

I guess in my line of work where I don't see the same boring faces in an office everyday.... but I keep meeting new people as I work on different campaigns, projects, events, etc. The likelihood of meeting with temptation is obviously higher... than, let's say.. when I was a disgruntled school teacher.

Now that I am less than 4 months away from my own wedding, and being taken off that proverbial shelf for good... I worry about temptations coming into my life. Is this just part of pre-wedding jitters?

I don't know.

But I do have the solution. Ride temptation out. Just ride it out. You see, it's not as if I go poking around looking for trouble. It's just that every now and again... trouble will find me. I think you will find that it's the same for you as well... some more so than others.. depending on the nature of your job, your social life, your personality, looks etc.

So when you're faced with temptation, my advice is.. not to act upon it straight away. You might make an impulsive mistake. (One of our friends left his wife because he "fell in love" with a Filipino waitress in a bar (GRO). Later on, he realised oh.. it's not love, shit I just screwed my whole life up. It "just happened".).

Don't let things "just happen". Put the breaks on, even if it's only for a while... because I guarantee you, during moments of impulse, your judgement is skewed. Don't just sleep on it (this is not a case of deciding whether to buy a new handbag!) but give it a weekend, or a whole week, or more. Most temptations will fizzle out on their own.

All you have to do is hold out. If after a long while, you still feel the same way (about that one temptation) then perhaps it is time to rethink your relationship/life. Maybe there's something wrong with your current life. But if there's nothing wrong with your life, and any temptation comes along, I promise you, if you don't give it any energy or focus... and you don't act on impulse, it will just fizzle out on it's own.

Do you agree with me? How do you deal with temptation?


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P/s... I'm in Bintan now, stay updated on the go via instagram (@hollyjean69)

Also this is your last week to qualify for the $500 Robinson vouchers I'm giving away. Click here.

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:11 pm

    I've figured there's no point telling people if they are tempted to do it even though they know it's wrong and they try to hold back. Even when they are married or close to getting married, they do it for various reasons and though they seems legit is not an excuse for their own impulse. I wanted to steer clear from them but after some time i realize if i have to stay away from people who do it, i'll hardly have any friends left :P

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  2. Hi Holly, i can agree with you that although it is not that easy to ride out temptation, but anyone who is in a serious relationship should mirror themselves and think about the implications.

    But i know people who just can't leave impulse, as impulse gets them thru the harshness and stresses in life. Unfortunately, it creates another stream of complications for them, be it material wealth, sex, binge drinking etc.. It is not that we humans are perfect, even religion couldn't stop people from being unfaithful. It is really the social circle we have that can guide or destroy us, and the self-integrity and faith upon the person we love.

    Thanks for sharing. Cheers!

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  3. u looked amazing in leggings..

    dats a compliment. nthing else.. :)


    D-GUY.

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  4. Anonymous1:03 am

    i daydream it instead :)

    later, feel happy i did not act on it

    come home n see my hubby n feel thankful while i list all his positive aspects :)

    ps: yes u look really gd in the pink leggings!!

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  5. HJ,

    Bravo for deciding how to deal with temptation.

    Far to many men and women give into to temptations. The ONS, or quickie is giving into lust.

    Most often after such events, people tend to have regrets.

    Temptation is always around us.
    It is made glamorous in movies and TV, novels and blogs are full such tripe.

    Loyalty and fidelity are worth having and tell friends and partners a great deal about a persons character.

    David

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