Friday, September 07, 2012

Relationship Tips for the 30 Something Single

As someone who is only recently engaged, and going to get married in January next year, when she is already 32, I thought I should share some tips with the other 30 Something year old single women out there.

In my 20s, my love life was a real roller coaster ride. Although very exciting, and full of self discovery, there are things I realise now, in my 30s, that I just did not heed when I was younger.

1. Find Someone Who Shares Your Ideals

It is extremely hard to settle down with someone that doesn’t have similar ideals  – you’ll clash on everything from how to spend the weekend all the way to if you want kids or not...

 2. Choose Your Battles

Don't be so trigger happy. Just fight for what really does matter. When I hit my 30s, I changed  from ‘I need to fight for everything’ to just fighting for things that are important. Try it. You'll fight more effectively, and when you do raise an issue, people are more likely to pay attention to it.

 3. Only Date those with Potential

That means you should say goodbye to dead end relationships that you know aren’t going to go anywhere. Grow up and don't live in denial. If you don't let go of Mr Wrong, you will have less chance of finding Mr Right.

 4. No More Screaming

When I was in my 20s, not only did I fight every battle tooth and nail, I would also resort to screaming at my partners. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes you just want to have a good scream, but screaming matches with your partner all of the time isn’t healthy and it can actually mean that your relationship isn’t in a good place.

 5. Know What You Are Looking For

When you are in your 30′s, you would have had the time to experiment and figure out what you want in a guy or what characteristics you are looking for . Do not hit the panic button because everyone else is getting married. Please don't settle for someone that you don't feel is right for you (and usually worse than all the other men you gave up on before!) . If you do this, your trials and heartaches so far... would have been in vain.

6. That said, also be realistic in expectations.

Don't be one of those people who gives up perfectly good men because of the silliest of things (Oh I don't like his shoes). 

There's hope yet. For all of us. Just be a good person, and believe.

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5 x $100 Robinsons Vouchers (Details here)

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6 comments:

  1. So glad i only get to know you in later part of your life :P

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  2. Anonymous11:01 am

    Totally agree with all above! Coming from someone who at one point almost resigned to not being able to find the right one this life time. I found my best soul mate when I reached 30. I'm expecting our first child now :)

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  3. Anonymous8:16 am

    I think it's luck & fate if you find your soulmate in your 20's. And I agree with all your points especially not hitting the panic button when everyone around you is settling/settled down. I'll find my mr right when the time is right...

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  4. Anonymous10:19 am

    Actually Holly, the truth is that not everyone eventually finds Mr Right and/or settles down (just look at at the number of single women in Singapore). Life has no such guarantees and that is the truth. And its definitely not a barometer of how "good" a person is. Some "evil" people get married or have relationships, and some "good" people actually stay single. Its just life.

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  5. Anonymous3:09 pm

    Thank you for this post!
    A timely-reminder! Stay Gorgeous n Blissful!!! :D

    LoVe, VV~

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  6. Anonymous5:44 am

    Thanks for writing that post. I'm in my thirties and most of my girlfriends are married. Some have kids. It's easy to panic but so important not to. I think you have valid points in your article. I want to stay happily married and not just to be married. So, I rather die trying to be happy and hope my bf and I will tie the knot when the time is right than to give up hope altogether. :)

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