Monday, August 13, 2012

Can't Believe You Fell For That! Relationship Advice You Shouldn't Have Followed

The world is never short of advice givers (myself included!). Be it from your mother, Oprah,  the internet, books or YouTube videos, chances are you've been given some awful relationship advice in your time. Unfortunately, chances are that you have also followed some of these awful relationship advice and unwittingly sabotaged your love life!

Here are 5 common relationship advice to ignore, no matter how many women's magazines tell you otherwise:

1. "Just be yourself on the first date"
I am assuming here that you are dating normal women, right? Normal women form first impressions of you and these impressions last. If you perhaps fart when you feel like it, expect her to pick up the tab  or talk about football the whole time, chances are it will not bode well for you. Those women never accepted a second date from you, not because they were hard to please divas, but simply because you never made any effort.

So, when someone tells you to "be yourself", what they really mean is "be Channing Tatum in The Vow".

2.  "Don't call her for at least two days".
They often say that if you call too soon, you appear desperate and unappealing. On the contrary, to most adult women are not keen on playing games, no call means no interest. Just be sincere and call when you feel like it.

If you're interested in her, then send a nice and polite SMS after a date to say that you've enjoyed her company and that you would like to do it again soon. This communicates your interest and she’ll reciprocate if the feeling is mutual.

3. "Just ask her what she likes sexually."
Many love gurus advocate asking a woman how she would like to be pleased in bed. While I think communication is key to a good relationship, so is spontaneity. If you feel you need to ask, then perhaps you two are not ready for intimacy yet. A bonding part of sexual intimacy is in the exploration phase. Don't ruin it by jotting stuff down in your notebook like you're in a biology class.

Plus, no woman is honestly going to tell you- Oh,when we have sex for the first time, would it be okay if you spanked my buttocks before intercourse? Thanks for asking." Get in the moment and experiment, figure that out yourself.

4. "Take a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder".
Some couples take a relationship break for some time to figure out if they want to be together or not. While it is true that having space to do your own thing while you're a couple is beneficial to the relationship, a temporary break up is not.

That sort of 'break' in reality is a period to see whether either of you can attract someone better in the alloted break time. If you cannot, then you both go back to putting up with each other. If you want to fix a relationship, then fix it. If you want someone better, then go for it, without stringing the other along like a spare tyre.

5. "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
I've heard this so many times, especially after a failed relationship. If there were any truth in it, I would be the Incredible Hulk by now. The reality is, you have to learn from your mistakes. If you fail, and take no responsibility nor learn from your failure, then you're not any better or stronger.

It's more a case of- What doesn't kill you, wasted your time and put you back to square one. And besides, the only thing that could possibly make you stronger while dating is the gym!

So the next time someone offers you advice on your relationship, especially when you never asked for any, just raise an objective eyebrow at them.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:57 pm

    2. to most adult woman *who do not like...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:22 pm

    Ur picture is adorable. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous1:52 am

    I love #2.
    I hate playing mind games!!

    ReplyDelete