Monday, January 30, 2012

Things Guys Don't Know About Sex

Last week, I wrote Things Girls Don't Know About Sex in my weekly Love column on MyfatPocket.com

Since then there have been requests for the version for men... so I've thought long and hard about it.. and here's my list of Things Guys Don't Know About Sex. (Do add on in the comments section if I have left anything out!)

Guys, no matter how big your ego, .. or penis..., no matter how many notches on your bedpost, here are the things I bet you didn't know about sex!

1. Women want you to make noise
Yes, you know women can fake orgasms. That's not new. But did you know that almost all
women turn up the volume when they do orgasm? For instance, the orgasm curls her toes and makes her feel like ohh, but she curls her toes and gives out an OHHH! This is because she knows you like it. She isn't faking it, but simply embellishing.

It would be nice if men would do the same instead of pretending to be all macho and stoic.... get a little more verbal and show us that you're enjoying it by groaning and moaning too.


2. Stamina is extremely Overrated!

Sure, pre-mature ejaculators are the butt of sex jokes, and in movies like American Pie. Some of us women have even been unfortunate enough to have been with men who orgasmed as soon as he got his pants off. But just because we would like sex to last more than 12 seconds does not mean that longer is better.

If you can keep thrusting and pumping for more than 45 minutes without coming, you're no superman... you're boring man. Plus, the vagina can't keep lubricating itself, no matter how wet you got her in the first place. So after an hour, chances are, she's sore, and just putting up with it!

One of my close girlfriends dated a guy like that once, we called him the Two Hour Man *said in super hero tone of voice* ( but not a compliment).

3. Breasts can hurt
... like a kick in the balls.
So don't use all your strength to squeeze her boobs. Nipples can get very sensitive at different times of the month too, or after an orgasm, so twisting and biting down hard on them is not appreciated.

The only exception is when she TELLS you to squeeze her boobs or suck on her nipples harder. Some times our bodies crave that and then weirdly enough, it doesn't hurt us.


4. Falling asleep after sex doesn't make you an asshole

When you orgasm, your body releases chemicals which makes you sleepy. Plus, exertion during sex depletes the muscles of glycogen (which produces energy), which leads to sleepiness. Men have more muscle mass than women, so they’re generally sleepier after sex.

Still, women won't listen to this bullshit science, so your best bet is either- toothpick your eyes open, or pull her close in a snuggle as you sleep so she still feels loved.

5. Your penis reflects your health
If you can't get a hard on or keep a hard on, then you might have arterial problems, diabetes, or kidney diseases. It may also be caused by fatigue or psychological factors.


-fin-
:)


P/s - My Valentine's Day contest ends tomorrow. If you have not taken part yet, Click Here to do so. Any difficulties just drop me an email.

Fabulous Huge Prize = Yacht club membership (can be sold/transfered) + a honeymoon suite with jacuzzi + Yacht trip (can be for Valentine's date or a small party) + ClubCouture and Mary Kay sponsored goodies!

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha on point 5, maybe it's easier if next time doctor ask to see the penis rather than do an expensive blood test :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agreed and learn new at the last part. Health, health, health

    ReplyDelete