Friday, January 06, 2012

Bad Tempered Girlfriends!

I have a friend (can't tell you who) whose girlfriend has a unreasonable temper. One day, she was throwing a tantrum about wanting to go somewhere else, but he wanted to stay a while longer (we were all having dinner). Then it turned into an argument and she tossed a ring (not engagement ring, it's a normal ring he bought for her birthday present) in his face. HIS FACE. It bloody hit him on his right cheek *DONGZ* and bounced off onto the floor... everyone felt so embarrassed for him.

You see, the thing about us women is… we perfume the pig. If we have a bad temper (or anything bad for that matter), we’re not going to show it to you when we are just begining to get acquainted.
Sure you can do silly things like- turn up very late for your first date, to see if she erupts. But realistically, who in their right mind would test the water like that and seriously risk ruining the relationship because you come across as a loser?

So the sad truth is boys, if she does have a nasty temper, you’re probably not going to find that out until a few months down the road and you’re in too deep. *smirk*

What I can help you out with here though… is How to Deal With Bad Tempered Girlfriends!

A girlfriend’s temper usually indicates that she wants to have control over you and the relationship. First thing you have to do is set boundaries. A lot of guys are so blinded by new love or lust that they over look the bad things their girlfriends do. They ignore the nasty stuff and focus on the good stuff. But if you let her get her way when she throws tantrums, then one day, when you suddenly don’t give in, you’re in for a big surprise my friend.

Often the first bad temper tantrum is where the boundaries should be set. Flat out say, “hey, I really like you but this behaviour is unacceptable. I will not tolerate it. I am willing to listen to you but I cannot be with someone who throws a fit.”

Once a bad tempered girlfriend realizes there is a consequence to their temper, they tend to curb their behaviour if the relationship means anything to them.

If you are further into a relationship and she’s always been having temper eruptions, then this is a little harder to change because her behaviour was allowed before so why should it stop now? She will think it is OK, because she has done this before and after she cools down, everything will go back to normal.

What you can do in this instance is pack a bag for the night and leave! Go to a friends house for the evening and let her think about her behaviour. Or if you’re out on a date, then end the date. Do not patronize her behaviour. This only gives her the green light to behave like this again and again. If you constantly accept negative behavior there is no incentive for her to change.
Give it a few months and if things still don’t change, then she may not be the one for you.

Bad tempers lead to bad arguments. As the arguments continue over time, they get worse. So just save yourself the trouble and back away from this relationship. No man has to put up with this, just like no woman has to put up with bad temper from a man.

Alternatively, you could just spend your whole life jumping around like a dumb spider to appease her. Plenty of men do that!

P/s- By the time you read this, I will be with my brother in HK Disneyland. :D Show you pics and give you more info on this place soon!

12 comments:

  1. I feel if she has done that privately, it's still not so bad cos at least she still spare a thought for his feeling but to do that in front of his friends for something so minor i don't think you need anyone to tell you it's about time to end it. Bigger thing will come. Imagine proposing to her and getting the ring thrown back at his face.

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  2. What happened to your friend in the end? Did he dump her?

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  3. theirs was a volatile relationship.. break patch beak patch break patch... that kind.

    eventually they split up ( not cos of this particular occasion). I can't remember the reason. but their no longer together. I dunnoe abt the guy.. but my friend is dating someone new. (roughly same temper still I think... just tht i dun have time to hang out with them now.. so I cant say for sure how it is)

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  4. typo - They Are (not THEIR)

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  5. Anonymous11:27 pm

    Hi holly,
    There's this question that has been lingering on my mind for awhile. " Do you think it's wrong for the female to ask for a guy's number ? " probably an eye candy, barely acquaintance. But more or less known of the other parties's existence.

    Thankful Anon.

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  6. Noting wrong with asking for a guy's number.... as long as you dont step on any one's toes to get it.

    If he isn't obviously dating anyone, then yes, go ahead and ask for his number.

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  7. Think about it. Your happiness is in your own hands. Missed it, you are never gonna get it back.

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  8. Anonymous10:39 pm

    Thanks holly for giving me a pretty positive answer. Well, there's barely anything i know about him...much less as to whether he's dating anyone or not. But i do feel certain hints (from him and his friends) that that's an attraction between us. (I trust my senses a lot) I don't want to regret anything but i don't have the guts to approach him. Any opinion ?

    I have been reading your posts since i was 15... I am 17 now btw. I really like your mindset and open-ness. Never afraid to express yourself in anyways. Sorry for throwing a confused question of mine to you as I feel you can help me view matters from another angle.

    Love again,
    Anon

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  9. Anonymous10:50 pm

    This post makes so much sense. My current relationship was like that.. She had came out of a 9-yr relationship where the guy gives in to her every whim so I guess she figured that's the only way to behave. Only after I sat down with her for a seriously chat and am mentally prepared to end the relationship did she realise that her 'princess' tantrums are not so desirable after all. Right now she has mellow somewhat and we are doing great. Thanks for the post.

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  10. Anonymous11:27 am

    Doesnt work... if you ignore her tantrums or say that they wont be tolerated she will cry and cry until you gve in and apologize

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  11. Anonymous1:34 pm

    We must always remember that the hardest thing to change in a person is their nature/character. It is not impossible for change to occur but it's a terrible gamble to live in hope and angry girlfriends /boyfriends erode the self-esteem of their partners over time. True love guards it's own tongue and polices its own behavior because it is thinking about others before itself. We must always have the courage and the wisdom to seek true love, even if it means starting over.

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