Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Do Smart Girls Turn Men Off?

I don't mean to toot my own horn... but I am a pretty smart girl.


Not Albert Einstein smart, I admit. But definitely straight 'A's in school smart. Jeopardy smart. Laugh at the right points of a stand up comedy routine smart.


Yet when it comes to choosing a partner in life, I have not evolved enough to say, it doesn't matter how smart my man is, it does not change who I am or how smart I am. I am my own person.


In fact, not only does the cavewoman in me want a man who is smarter than me... I also want one who is taller, stronger and older than me as well.


Smart girls think that because they're smarter they have a lot more to offer (than the "dumber" girls) .But you know what smart girls? The joke's on us.

It's been polled/studied/proven for decades that most men want women who are shorter, younger and *palm in face* Dumber than them!

I know I say this a lot... but I'm Not Shitting You. There was a study in Britain done where they tested the IQs of hundreds of 11 year old girls, then decades later, revisited these test subjects. Surprise surprise... it turned out that the ones who were married were the ones who faired less well in the IQ tests.


In my current relationship, GB has on many occasions (we've been together 4 months now) griped, " Shiiit... Honey, you are too sharp." (That's the exact phrase he uses)

These are the times I cringe inside. Like it's a bad thing.

Then, there are also times when I do silly things or say stupid things (sometimes on purpose and with baby voice for additional effect). And GB will smile and say, "Honey... don't be such a Biiimbo...".

And these are the times where I will giggle with glee, look pitifully incompetent and jump into his lap to be cuddled. Somehow it kinda feels quite good.

Is this what dumber girls experience all the time? They may be on to something!


So what? Smart chicks are screwed because no man will want to marry them?!

Well, perhaps, smart girls just have to look for even smarter guys. And there are different kinds of 'smarts' too.

While GB probably wouldn't be able to squeeze the word Zenith into everyday conversation or appreciate dry humour, he would easily be able to explain to me Nuclear Fission and have a crack at the Riemann hypothesis (while standing on his head!). And that sort of intelligence (which I actually don't have), is very very attractive to me.
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Honestly, I'm lucky because GB is a very smart guy, so I don't think he is threatened by me, that way. Otherwise, he would not still be with me now, right? But I think I shall ask him about this one day. Would be interesting to see what he says.

21 comments:

  1. Smarter girls would probably have busier careers, so they are less likely to get married early in life. That might explain the results of the study.

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  2. HI Sharon.. yeah I agree with the busy career bit.

    but this study was done over 4 decades.. so the women were well into their 40s & 50s. Not so much too busy to get married early in life but probably missed the boat altogether!

    Or perhaps they were so smart, they saw what the options were and realised they wanted to go at it alone instead of compromising and settle for a man tht isn't what they want... :S

    But even in SG, female uni grads get married much later than those who didn't further their studies beyond sec sch/poly. But tht's stating the obvious I guess... since girls don't grad from uni until they're like 22/23. (or in my case.. erm..first from NUS, then from NTU at 25!)

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  3. Babe, we already went through the Riemann integrals, you should know it by now already, don't be a bimbo!

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  4. @my puppy (aka GB)

    Oh really? We did? I must have been too busy staring into space.

    Btw, I knew u wld make a jokey reply. What do u honestly think though?

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  5. Anonymous9:38 pm

    I don't think guys go for the dumber girls. It's just that women with less education and exposure generally have lower expectation and would get married earlier. Those who do not want to settle down early would prefer to be single, with the freedom to explore the world further. The more one explores, one gains knowledge - hence probably higher IQ?

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  6. i don't think guys like girls to be actually dumb... they just like girls who play dumb from time to time like u do. Being with a dumber partner all the time is quite annoying... how can you not be able to carry a fairly smart conversation and still be interested in a person?

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  7. AsneM9:52 pm

    Unless the girl is some damn prodigy, I don't think men are intimidated by generally smart women. Honestly there are ALOT of smart women around with men queuing to date them.

    Unless ya some Mensa member, ya not exactly intimidating coz you can always meet someone on par with your level of intelligence.

    My guy friends prefer smart women anytime.. what is 'smart' anyways?? Everyone's standard is different. Your smart might mean average to some and vice versa. Whatever it is, there's no shame in having your head screwed on. I don't understand why there's a need to feel 'weird' about being smart. It's those bimbos that have lots to worry about. Aah yes. They have the looks to depend on. Well provisionally.

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  8. a really smart woman would also know how to behave or react at situations. I don't think it is a problem unless you are talking about those 'smart' girls who does now know how to read a situation.

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  9. We like girls who are smart but not act smart!

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  10. I agree with anon 938.

    (Referring to the study that you mentioned) I think women with a lower IQ probably end up with a lower education level. They have less on their plate, less distractions, therefore marrying earlier. I mean what else is there to do if you end up in some dead end job except to pop out babies? huh huh.

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  11. Mm i prefer to be street-smart, knwing wat to say..wat to do at the right place, at e right time :P

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  12. whatever the case may be, i LOVE smart women. Period.

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  13. CeLeStina8:23 am

    Seriously speaking, i dun tink men like either too smart or dumb women. However i do believe they want their woman to behave smart or dumb at the right time & right place.

    I strongly believe if the woman is too smart it wil make the man to feel intimated in certain ways. Too dumb may also cause frustrations to them.

    So gals, lets be either smart or dumb at the rite time : )

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  14. thanks guys and girls for sharing your opinions.

    I think tht with smart women.. men don't get to "get away" with many things too... but a dumber woman (possibly) may let more things slide.. close one eye. but a smart woman would never stand for bullshit... well, not for long anyway.

    yeah.. those prodigy/mensa kinda ultra brainy people... can be awkward socially... so perhaps tht accounts for their singledom.

    Just wondering.... do I look like a smart person? On first impressions.. (I know GB thought I was a bimbo, on the first 10 seconds kind of impression)... but I also know if he does comment below, he would joke and say- tht's because I am a bimbo. *!!!!* :)

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  15. Hi Holly,

    I think guys generally prefer smart girls or at least smart enough to carry out intelligent conversations with all people and mingle with their friends and not look like a bimbo.

    However, girls also got to be smart enough to act dumb and allow the guy to explain the Riemann integrals or whatever theory even though we might already know it well enough.

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  16. Anonymous12:14 pm

    I love reading your blog. I think you're a smart woman, as you said in education. While at that, it does has influence on how smart you think and do. However, in reality, the smart ones ended up marrying late or never at all. And those married ones, have to settle for less, for they count themselves lucky to find a partner in life. I don't know about western man, but Asian man in particular is very sensitive about certain topics in a woman. Everything has a pro and cons. That doesn't mean western man is better in this case, probably they won't mind you being smart and open, but they might not treat you seriously too. It seems to me how you write about GB's treatment to you is very common for girls who are being open and smart (especially the fact that he didn't tag you along during his holiday). For the record, I'm about your age and married. I'm open to a certain degree but not smart as you. But somehow I ended up with an MBA.
    There aren't dumb ppl in this world. I don't think God intend to make some dumb ppl to fluorish the world. But we have our differences in life. We had options to choose and what we chooses will bring us to different destinations.
    Depending on the situations you face in life with your man, sometimes they like us to play dumb, sometimes they like us to act smart. What is your focus, need or want for a man? Is it just a normal relation or a more serious one or you are looking to settle down? From your blog, I assume you are looking for someone serious in your life, however, your focus is not there. You and GB is only 4 months, what about a year, or lifetime? Do you see yourself with him for life?
    I think all man in life craves some privacy for himself and his woman. Their mouth might agree with you when you are being so open about relationships and sex, especially in the beginning of a new relationship. Everything is so blind. It's always after a year or two, when the relationship gets settle, things changes from there. Knowing you had past relationships with other man, they (man) love to bring it up as their weapon. And when you're unable to defense, you leave. That's the smartest things woman do. Later in life, when woman not so lucky, they feel a sense of regret.
    I'm not being judgmental. It's just my opinions about man. You know your man well. Then you must know what kind of privacy he craves. Then you must know how to act around him. At the end of the day, all you want is his love for you, isn't it? So, what do you do to win that from him?

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  17. Anonymous12:23 pm

    I love reading your blog. I think you're a smart woman, as you said in education. It does has influence on how smart you think and do. However, in reality, the smart ones ended up marrying late or never at all. And those married ones, have to settle for less, for they count themselves lucky to find a partner in life. Asian man in particular is very sensitive about certain topics in a woman. Everything has a pro and cons. That doesn't mean western man is better in this case, probably they won't mind you being smart and open, but they might not treat you seriously too. It seems to me how you describe GB's treatment to you is very common for girls who are being open and smart (especially the fact that he didn't tag you along during his holiday). There aren't dumb ppl in this world. I don't think God intend to make dumb ppl to fluorish the world. But we have differences in life. We had options and what we chooses will bring us to different destinations.
    Depending on the situations you face in life with your man, sometimes they like us to play dumb, sometimes they like us to act smart. What is your focus, need or want for a man? Is it just a normal relation or a more serious one or you are looking to settle down? You and GB is only 4 months, what about a year, or lifetime? Do you see yourself with him for life?
    I think man craves some privacy for himself and his woman. Their mouth might agree with you when you are being so open about relationships and sex, especially in the beginning. Everything is so blind. It's always after a year or two, when the relationship gets settle, things changes from there. Knowing you had past relationships with other man, they (man) love to bring it up as their weapon. And when you're unable to defense, you leave. That's the smartest things woman do. Later in life, woman whom not so lucky feel a sense of regret.
    It's just my opinions about man. You know your man well. Then you must know what kind of privacy he craves. Then you must know how to act around him. At the end of the day, all you want is his love for you, isn't it? So, what do you do to win that from him?

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  18. Anonymous5:36 pm

    Hey Anonymous 12:23PM,

    I think you're being so shallow, judgmental, and full of criticism. How are you even gonna start a happy life if you're already so negative in the beginning? Everyone has his/her own journey of life, it's their own individual way to live a life.

    Who are you to say "oh you and GB are only 4 mths", "Not tagging Holly in his holiday", blah blah blah? You have no idea how they are living their life.

    This is about whether smart women turn men off, and here you are judging and talking about Holly's personal relationship. She may be open and all, but she doesn't deserve criticisms.

    Well, on first look Holly, you dont look that smart, but you dont look dumb either, you look cute and cool! But honestly you can't tell a person is smart or dumb based on first looks, you need to actually converse to him/her. I love reading your blog, I think you write really well. you're full of energy and cuteness :) which brings freshness, happiness and positiveness (if there's such a word) to life, which can be otherwise boring. Keep up the good work!!!

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  19. Not really.
    I'm smarter than my boyfriend, (he's really dumb, but its cute hahaha) in academics.

    He tells me that it's so cute/sexy when I'm very smart.
    Maybe he has a professor fetish or something, i dont know.

    But in a long run, I think it'll be a bad thing.
    Smarter wives, dumb husbands.
    His pride and self esteem. Zero. LOL.

    Then again, Just like what Celestina said. behave smart or dumb at the right time & right place.

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  20. He liked me cos I was smart, but I turned out too smart for him and we broke up in the end cos he said he was not "smart" enough for me... wth... *roll eyes* go figure that one out. It's not like I'm mensa material...

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  21. Anonymous7:54 am

    mmm was anon at 1223 really being shallow or judgemental? didnt really seem that way, relax man!

    also to go back to the topic, obviously everybody is looking for different things, some people want partners who are less clever than them (makes them feel smarter maybe?) some want clever partners, maybe because they respect intelligence, or they simply like to be around somebody they can converse with or perhaps learn from...after all, isnt it boring to talk to someone who can never tell you anything new or interesting?

    asking whether men like smart/dumb women is about as easy a question as whether people prefer chocolate ice cream, or strawberry....(if they even like ice cream at all).

    PS anyway, isnt intelligence a more important criteria for women than men when it comes to picking mates?

    PPS if this post refers to show-off smartypants, nobody wants to date those, male or female!!!

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