Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Another Jealousy Issue

I think the bullk of the emails I receive are about jealousy. I completely understand it, since I am human too and I'm a jealous person.

Here's one I received from Jealous girl... I think it's something most of us can relate to. Do give your responses/advice too.




Hey Holly,
I've gotten together with my boyfriend for a couple of months now. Midway through i realized that he used to like a friend of mine. Don't know if this is a pride issue, but he liked her when he knew me, and so till now i feel a bit weird whenever i see her.
I start comparing us both. Is this normal? and it affects me quite a bit. Am i being silly?
jealous girl

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hi jealous girl...

I think ur reaction is perfectly normal. I'd feel like I came in second place :( but how serious was he abt his like for her in the first place anyway.. since he didnt pursue it.

If you love him and want this to work... I'd say forget abt it and dont let it affect your relationship with him.

But of course, being the paranoid person tht I am.. i will be mindful and watchful over the interactions between him and ur fren. U know... just in case. and also... never NEVER punish him for it ok. It's not like he deliberately did anything wrong to you. plus, if u go crazy over something that WAS IN THE PAST, next time he wont tell u any more stuff.

Hopefully my blog readers will be able to give you their perspective on this.

HJ

11 comments:

  1. I think your boyfriend definitely has a thing for your friend. In fact, you were probably his second choice or all he was left with when he couldn't nail your friend.

    Two ways to solve this:
    1) Dump your boyfriend and make him jealous by making out with your friend in front of him.

    2) Make out with your girlfriend and send me the video.

    Jimbo

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  2. Stevie10:34 am

    Jealous girl,
    Let's get serious he's man!! He didn't just like your fiend he wanted to do her, but rest assured he probably thinks about doing every second girl that walks past and has definitely had thoughts about all your friends. I'm sure if he's a real man he's probably even given your Mum the once over. But rather than getting all worked up about this, embrace it, encourage him to express these thoughts and if u agree she is hot act on it together!! Maybe he could even give you comparitive performance scores so you dont have to worry about doing the comparisons yourself?

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  3. P.S. Only send videos if you are Hot. kkthx

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  4. Anonymous10:46 am

    Dear Jealous Girl,

    Don't listen to those silly boys comments.

    I too once liked my Bf's Friend. we were in a group. But after a while, I realised that my Bf had better character and is a better match for me.

    We still all hang out in one big group now, but I no longer have feelings for his friend. I am happy with my BF.

    I'm sure your BF has made his mind up to be with you instead of the other girl because he sees in you something that the other girl doesn't have.

    Otherwise, believe me, if he likes her, he will be persistent and go after her.

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  5. He's So using you to get to her.

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  6. Anonymous10:54 am

    hey holly, i was just wondering about something. you can choose not to answer if its too personal.

    do you get criticised for not practicing your religion when you have pre-marital sex?

    i'm sure if i blogged openly about it my elders will give me a earful.

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  7. Stevie10:57 am

    No Criticism here. U go girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. well... i blog about sex, and topics on sex, just as you would read it in a magazine.

    I don't think I actually blog about my own personal sex expeiences, like some bloggers do. I don't blog stuff like -- last night, I did this blah blah blah with mark and felt XYZ, etc.

    So i don't think I'm actually open about it really.

    as for pre-marital sex, well... in this day and age?

    my philosophy in life is - I do believe there is a god ( most times), I was born and raised Catholic. I have nothing against my religion. But I don't feel that it should control my life.

    I go by the beat of my own drum. And i do what I feel is right based on my own principles. Usually that means not hurting anyone, and being responsible for my own actions.


    :)

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  9. Jealous girl,

    I think what you feel is perfectly normal. However, you have to realise its also unfounded and not your boyfriend's fault at all.

    He could not control liking her and he is with you now and that is what matters.

    But yes observe him with her and see that he doesn't sneak off to ber with her on the side. If he is totally honest and open with her about ur relationship - ie: In front of her he's sweet and loving towards you, I don't think there's a problem

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  10. Anonymous12:00 am

    whats up with the first few comments?

    anyway i think its normal for you to feel that way.. i would too. probably talk to your bf about it.. listen to his assurances.. see whether you trust him.. and keep an eye on them when you have group outings and stuff.

    but since its in the past.. after you have talked to him about it you do have to let go of it at some point..

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  11. Anonymous4:39 pm

    Hi Jealous Girl,

    I think most girls will feel bothered about that however what's important is whether you are happy with him now. I have a friend's bf who liked her friend then another of her friend then ended with her. He wasn't really serious about her to start with but they end up together for a long time too. So its really not that important as long as your bf is over your friend. I guess.

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