Monday, August 10, 2009

10 Things I've Learnt About Men

Men....
1. Don't Change

Even if you manage to change him, it's only temporary. Like a leopard and its spots, a bull and its horns... a man and his ways will never part.
And the older they are, the more set in their ways they tend to be.


2. Will Take Advantage Of You If You Let Him

Men aren't the predatorial beasts we make them out to be. It is the signals we send them which determine the kind of relationship we will have with him. If you look and act like an easy lay, a piece of meat, a bimbo... then that is what they will treat you as. If you're above that... then don't present yourself as such. Plenty of great men out there... set your sights on them instead.

3. Appreciate Woman Who Take The Initiative

I've found that men.. no matter how confident they are at work, or how brave they are when facing huge bugs, or even how much physical pain they can take..... in general they fear rejection.

But even if you are a couple, do take the initiative to plan the date, initiate sex, suggest a weekend getaway.

Take the reins every now and again, and make the first move instead of waiting for him.

4. Cannot Read Your Mind

You may think you’re being subtle, or that there are some things a guy should just know, but to him you’re just being confusing. It's no use. It will just end in you getting frustrated, and starting an argument.

If you want/feel/know something. Just tell him.

5. Men hate to lose

They're all competitive! Even if it's a friendly game of Tennis. They don't like losing. Get used to that.

6. Don't Like Feeling Jealous
I don't like feling jealous either. But with women... when we are jealous, we tend to get more possessive and more available to the man. But Men are different. If you try to make him want you more by playing the jealousy card. For instance, you start talking about this hot male colleague who is constantly flirting with you. He'll get tired of it and you'll soon find him out of the picture. To men... it's not worth the hassel, and they don't like having to feel jealous.


7. Men are sensitive in strange ways

I've found that a man is more sensitive about being accepted just the way he is. Any attempt to improve him makes him feel ultra threatened as though you are trying to change him because he is not good enough.


8. Have A double Standard In Sex

I've blogged about this before. [Click]

9. His State of Mind
How a man values a woman actually depends on his state of mind rather than the quality of the woman herself.
If a man is a player, then you are worthless to him as anything but a hole, no matter how pretty and/or great a person you are. They are just not ready for a relationship to value you more.

10. Men do not enjoy being tested

Men don't like it at all when your tests are administered based on the assumption that they are stupid or up to no good. (and yet we still persist!)
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When it comes to men... I've learnt a lot of things the hard way. Sad thing is...being the fool that I am, I'm still not immune to making the same mistakes again.



Any advice for that???!



What are some of the lessons you've learnt?

6 comments:

  1. agreed. good post

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  2. Anonymous11:17 pm

    Hi HJ,

    Chanced upon your blog for the 1st time!

    Everyone has to learn life's(& love's) lessons and most of them to be of the hard ways. the best advice is - loving yourself and putting yourself as priority.. with abit of luck and your gifted wits, everything should fall in place nicely for you! ^_^ All u have to do is.. relax and be yourself!


    Some points that I agree though:

    1. Don't Change >> this is very true.. Dads are good examples

    2. Will Take Advantage Of You If You Let Him..>> Occasionally.. raise your voice and be firm when you make a point but no nagging. Sometimes I feel that men like to be bossed around..they will take advantage if you be nice to them blindly.

    2 more points to share -

    Men can be sweet to you when you are alone with him but they are highly likely to be bitching abt you when they are with his buddies even if he likes you!(Kind of an ego thing.. esp when you start being nice to him) They can be such gossips!

    Men hate to be told that they are balding. So.. refrain.. hahaa


    p.s.Lessons learnt from being the only girl working in all-male office and having a "typical boyfriend" =P


    - ast

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  3. Anonymous7:43 am

    totally agreed with what you wrote!
    love your blog!! :D

    xoxo,
    bb

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Holly,

    Well, I don't quite agree with you on pt no.2. All men aren't like this - in fact, I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man who would never take advantage of anyone.

    After years of dating, and now finally choosing to be with someone I can settle down with, I think if your man will take advantage of you if you let him, dump him.

    It really shows that he isn't a good person inside. A real man, who sees an easy lay, will not treat her in a judgemental manner.

    Agree with all the other pts though...

    Like pt 3. Men hate girls with no opinion about where to go, what to do.

    Pt 4 is wonderful too. A guy you're with should also make you feel like you can say what you mean. Anytime. He should not make you feel dumb whenever you voice an opinion, and should not be angry when you tell him something is wrong.

    Just what I thought...:)

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  5. Anonymous5:24 pm

    i agreed on pt 3 answered by jess.
    im a guy fyi

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous3:35 am

    No, it's just the taurus guy you are dating.

    ReplyDelete