Sunday, August 09, 2009

10 Signs Your Man Is Cheating

Happy National Day!
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The My Fat Pocket site has been revamped. It no longer has the Ask Holly Jean column, but it has a Love & Sex column which I'll be writing.


(This is my signature on the site.. nice?nice???)



10 Signs Your Man Is Cheating
You can compromise on a lot of things in a relationship; time, money and even sex. But one thing you should never compromise on is fidelity. Even so, you cannot be around your man 24-7. So how would you know if he’s being faithful? Or not.

You don’t need an expensive private investigator but there are little everyday things which you can look out for. I call these Relationship Red Flags.


10. Clams Up

Beware of any sudden changes in your man’s personality. If he always used to be talkative… has he suddenly gone quiet all the time? People find it difficult to keep up with their lies, so instead of sharing with you about his day and activities (like he used to), you may find that he suddenly clams up (for fear of revealing too much).


9. Unreachable

He has a mobile phone but doesn’t pick up or it’s switched off. The usual excuses would be that he couldn’t get good reception, batteries were dead or he left the phone in the car. Be wary if this happens often.


8. Car Changes

Has the passenger seat been adjusted? Is there an unknown strand of hair? Is the radio tuned in to a different station than the usual one? Or is the aircon vent pointed to a different direction from where you left it?


7. Intimacy

Take note of any changes in frequency or quality of sex. Is he notieably less affectionate or more affectionate with you? A man may suddenly show ore affection to his partner because he feels guilty about the affair, or he may show less affection because of his commitment to someone else.

6. Image Revamp

If he hasn’t been particular about his dressing all along but suddenly takes an interest in fashion and his image - his makeover is probably not meant for you.


5. The Vanishing

Does he go to the supermarket to buy some cigarettes but takes 2 hours to return home? Does he work late all the time through the night? Work is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home.


4. Where the Money?

Cheating is expensive. If your man seems to spend more money than usual, and yet you can’t see where the money went… maybe it’s time to start getting hold of his credit card statements or fish around for old receipts. No man can be 100% perfect, he will leave a trail.

3. Sneaky phone habits
Does he leave the room when he gets a call? Does he get mysterious late night phone calls? Does he take his mobile phone all over with him, including the toilet? (Maybe he can’t leave it alone because there’ll be incriminating evidence in it)!


2. Too Clean
You don’t have to smell the perfume or see the lipstick marks on his collar… it’s unlikely he’ll make such a grave mistake. Generally, men don’t like to change. It’s always the same soap, same aftershave, same deodorant, etc. So, if your man is suddenly cleaner than usual, it’s because he’s trying to get rid of any evidence left on him.


1. Your Gut Says So
A woman’s intuition is usually right. Without hinting at your suspicion of them, tell him that your friend confided in you that someone told her that they had seen her husband out with another woman. If he is guilty of cheating, when he hears this, he will panic. See if you can catch any signs of alarm or nervousness in him.

*Word of caution* Under no circumstances should you fly into a rage and accuse him of being a cheat simply because a couple of red flags go up! These red flags should be taken as a warning that something may be amiss, and that you should pay more attention to your relationship, just to make sure nothing is going on.(Please do leave your comments and Other signs you know of).


The last thing you want is to be the fool who doesn’t see everything that’s happening right under her nose! 

Click here to view this article and archives on MFP .

11 comments:

  1. These are some of the reasons i thought of;

    1) doesn't allow you to see his cell phone.

    2) Keep complaining that his tired! when you are out with him

    3) Keep giving excuses that he cant meet you up? e.g. helpping his parents to do something or he needs to be home early.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3:45 pm

    Preferred if there wasn't a link to click elsewhere to complete reading the whole article...it's a complete turn off...either you write an article for your blog or your write for your column. Professional bloggers do not squeeze a 2-in-1 from one article.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3:55 pm

    thanks ladies, i really learned a lot from this. haha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. fiona - yes.. I do agree!

    anon 3.45 - just trying to help drive some traffic over to the MFP site. But yes, noted. And have put the whole article up.

    anon3.55 - ah.... clever boy (I assume male, not female)... well.. u can never hide everything. women have a knack for digging for clues! :)

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  5. Anonymous10:31 pm

    am i the only guy who finds #4 annoying? i just feel that there are 2 many women out there who still see men as a cash cow, and want 'their share' of their bf's money.

    i'm not excusing cheating ofcourse, but just think that you shouldn't be so dependent on your partner's wallet that you'd notice a change in their spending

    and checking bank statements, for fuck sake, that doesn't sound right either

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  6. Anonymous11:22 pm

    the only guys who find tht annoying...are guys with no money! Or guys who are spening it on another woman and trying to conceal it!

    LOL

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  7. Anonymous11:29 pm

    anon 11:22 - think you'd find a lot of guys would not like having their bank statements rifled through.. and not just the poor ones or the cheating ones.

    ReplyDelete
  8. years ago...I came across my Bf's (now ex of course)credit card statement. And I was astonished to find that he was paying for a subscription to ADULT FRIEND FINDER.

    I went to the site ( didn't know at the time tht it was a site for sexual hook ups.)... and lucky me, his computer remembered his password and logged me in.

    I looked at his profile, he was looking for FUN. and had been messaging some like-minded sluts.

    When I questioned him, he said it was just to see wat the site was abt and he never intended to meet up. (yeah right.. meanwhile he pays like $80 to sign up.... when he can hardly afford to pay for dinner!)

    I wouldn't look through someone's bank statements because I view him as a cash cow... but i would look if I felt something was amiss.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous10:25 am

    hi, can we please have 10 signs when women cheats on the next post? XD

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:11 pm

    Fiona,

    So what is the guy says that by looking at his phone=no privacy for him.

    Any conclusion?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous1:25 pm

    HJ,

    Great post cos' I totally agree.

    My bf was suddenly bringing his phone everywhere he goes to and even have it face down when left on the table....I was still stupid about it and not suspect anything, until I was told by someone in the know that he was sort of seeing someone from his office.!!!

    I checked his phone and found out they have been texting. And TOW was agressive in asking him out.

    Should I confront him? But that would mean he will know tt I have been peeking at his phone..(not very 'noble'means too)..

    I noticed that he seems to have withdrawn from TOW a little, as in he does not inititae the smses...Usually she is the one...

    I am at a lost now..if i confront..he may turn away from me and seek solace from that TOW that is pouring attention on him...:(


    out-of-sorts

    ReplyDelete