Had an interesting discussion with Mark the other day. Seems like whenever there's a problem, he'll discuss it, and then the matter is over.With me however, everything adds up. The problem may be resolved, but it never goes away. I do move on with life, but that "problem" is part of my history, it doesn't just disappear.
Is this a man-woman dichotomy?
Is it in our genetic make-up? Do women bear grudges more often than men do?
In the course of history, when men fight, it leads to physical wars. When women fight, they use their bodies and minds to wage battle, (even back to the time of Cleopatra). A woman can do far more damage with her mind and tongue than a man can with his fists.
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I've bore some grudges in my lifetime. And although I have not stooped to the extent of poisoning someone's dog or anything like that, I have done some damage when seeking revenge.
There was one BF (now ex) I had many years ago who cheated on me... so I took his credit card and went on a shopping spree with my girlfriend. Only spent about$3000 but when my ex BF was just 22 years old, that was a lot of money, so it hurt.
There was a noisy bratty child who kept kicking the back of my seat on a coach ride to KL. So when everyone got off the bus for a toilet/food break, I emptied my waterbottle on his seat. Imagine having to ride for hours on a wet seat! HA!
A girl crossed me when we were in secondary school so I went into her class during recess and tore up all her textbooks.
My friends will tell you that I'm a good friend. When people treat me well, I treat them even better. But when it comes to enemies, I cannot just let bygones be bygones. I have to get revenge in order to feel that the scales are balanced. 
Maybe it's my libran nature... maybe it's because I am a woman. But I'm just not a nice person when I am scorned. Even if I could save your life, if I felt you didn't deserve it, I simply wouldn't.
Maybe it's my libran nature... maybe it's because I am a woman. But I'm just not a nice person when I am scorned. Even if I could save your life, if I felt you didn't deserve it, I simply wouldn't. But I don't think I'm the only one. Am I?
morning holly~ :)
ReplyDeletehmmm i must say nice move on that kid on the coach? xD
3k back that time i guess it does hurt a 22yrs old guy? i just find that the "revenge" on ur cheating ex aint enough? =b
im a virgo though. but i share somehow the same thinking with u over enemies n friends! ^^ to me, if someone treats me good i will definately treats him/her good too~ but if its trouble or bad stuffs others treats me...dan its haha "revenge"? lik u said balance the scale? haha! hMmm so i guess ur not the only one?
but i got to say its smth good dat mark & u do discuss bout matters when a problem is arise? ^^ problems are aint meant to be drag..thats what i always feel of..the longer u drag to solve a problem, the seriousness of it will sure be bigger, thus in future it may become a real "BIG" problem?
i guess it not a woman or man thing? its maybe the way how u handle things/stuffs?
no worries holly~ ur not alone! xD haha!
everyone bears grudges. it's a cliche, but "forgiven not forgotten" is routine.
ReplyDeletei thought the lil kid on the bus move was hilarious =)
keep blogging!
people make mistakes. You are a bitch. Just forgive and forget!
ReplyDeleteOk I guess Anon 11 13 summed it up succinctly enough but I'm unfortunately long-winded.
ReplyDeleteOf course you're not the ONLY one Holly but please don't embarrass the rest of us women by hypothesizing that your behaviour is possibly a 'woman' thing. (I'm not Libran so I can't say but I would resist such a generalization. It would be like saying "is it a Eurasian thing?" coz you bet l know some bitchy Eurasians but of course I know it's not.)
I would need to be possessed or deficient of half a brain before I'd do any of the things you listed. So please don't throw around insipid rhetorical questions like 'is this a man-woman dichotomy?' for a topic like this trying to sound smart. You say you'd be a horrible enemy and you're not nice when scorned, but "getting back" at a child, brat or not? Would that fall under 'enemy' or 'being scorned'? That's just petty!
Anyway before anybody says "don't like don't read"... I don't have a problem with most of Holly's posts. Makeup and exercise tips are not bad. And besides if you want to make money out of your blog every reader counts.
I don't think spent 3 k of your cheating ex is enough though :P. If me, I would seriously spent much much more and then punch up that guy til he bleeds hard! Would feel much better after that haha.
ReplyDeleteI would only do horrible stuff to unfaithful guys though, not to others. If gals, I would just show off what I got and trust me,words do spread and jeolousy wins! Haha
But now whenever me and my fiance had problems we would have SERIOUS talk, cry for abit, and that's it :)
Hmmm but I gotta say you got alot of unfaithful ex. But I love the stories of what you did to them! Do elaborate more next time in your blog :)
lol... U sounds very venageful...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know u r a Libra till now...
Ya.. Its true that we need to find our "balance"....
Its part of our nature but Libras r suppose to be peace loving creratures ok...
guyver28- yah.. there will be peace. AFTER i get my shot at revenge.
ReplyDelete:)
Geznat- had a couple of cheating BFs in the past. But I have had a lot of Bfs! :s so in the grand scheme of things I wouldn't really say "a lot" of them cheated.
s- I actually do think tht women in general are more vengeful and bear grudges, compared to men. But of course tht is only my opinion.
I don't care if I am judged for it, but tht kid (like 12 years old already) needed to be taught a lesson. I had already shot a dirty look at him, he still didn't stop. I expressed my displeasure nicely but his parents took no notice. Maybe it was childish of me.. but boy did it feel good! If I don't enjoy my ride because of him, then he shouldn't get to enjoy it either.
LIterale- I'm glad u see the humour in my annecdote about the kid on the bus instead of being all "grown up" and righteous about it. haha :)
qf- glad to know I am not alone. :)
ha ha. i think spending 3k is not enough. u should have spend more. lol.
ReplyDeletelol..you're hilarious...i'd never want to cross paths with you, although you were the very person who convinced me not to spray red paint on sumbitch's wedding venue. and yeah, we women "keep things". those who say they don't, are just flat out liars. --nn
ReplyDeleteha! woman thing? imagine if the world full of bitch just like you, 'peace' no more. and stop complaining about your EXs, it's annoying yo ..l..
ReplyDeleteOh no, I think what you did wsa pretty horrible. It takes a bigger person to just live and let live! Sometimes its better when you just walk away, for example, instead of saying something. I think the msg to your ex at the hooker bar about his mom dying was plain cruel!! Also makes you look a tad bit insane. That would be a deal breaker for me (although him going to hookers is not excusable either). I would probably have gathered evidence and confronted him about that matter directly.
ReplyDeleteHmm, but I agree. I think women definitely bear grudges more than men do. I think we have certain expectations and expect men to fulfill them. But generally, if we had a talk about not going to hooker bars, and I do my checks and find out you still are. Then its a deal breaker, esp when you promised you wouldn't. And after that first convo, don't even talk to me about how fun going to such bars are. If you shut up, I won't bring it up! agree?
J
Dear Jean... I find it weird...
ReplyDeleteHow come your Exs will think of cheating on u..
Must be blind or too lustful...
U look so perfect...
HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ReplyDeletenow that is what i call a funny post
'Cave Quid Dicis Quando Et Cuit'
ReplyDelete'Ut Sementem Feceris Ita Metes'
From the little boy on the bus.
hey H.J,
ReplyDeleteive grudges too... but getting back puts (me) at e same level as that person. so i eventually forgive. thats e hardest part but ive done it.
you r def. not alone. just individual ways of dealing with it. :)
D-GUY.
haha nice post.Awesome moves.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same,when people do me wrong,why would I just take it,It's against my nature so I just need revenge..So I take it.
Usually that just ends with my fists in a face. But It's not really a women thing, I've had many friends that were cheated on or talked about. And I would be like just hit him/her or something.And they would be like No that wouldn't solve anything. It depends on what kind of person you are..
Humans err. Honestly, the shopping spree thing was really cool, not so for that chap though. Although, honestly, i believe words can hurt more than actions. Thats what I use usually.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it depends on the age gap too. What is the age gap b/w u and your bf? Sounds quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteThis is why women are like Archeologists. They love to dig up old shit and talk about it for hours.
ReplyDeleteWhereas men are like undertakers. Gather everyone around, sort stuff out and then bury it forever.
hi Holly, I tried to translate that msg from that little boy from Italian, French, Portugese and many others but couldn't find it. Could you decipher that?
ReplyDeleteAnyways, its good you wrote that post. shows that somehow some ppl are not alone. When i found out so many lies, I wanted to pour transparent detergent into that person's contact lense case. ;) did the guy ask the 3k back from u ? - E
I think its a Libran thing. We make very good friends but once we're crossed - watch out! We don't forget slights and yes I bear grudges too! Though I have to say I don't hate people without reason, but when I do - its usually permanent. Nothing can possibly redeem them in my eyes.
ReplyDeletehaha.. detergent in contact lens case!!! (use bleach! It's the same colour as saline.. and will blind them) haha.
ReplyDeleteI've shared with you some of my psycho revenge stories, tell me more of yours!
Come on... tell me all the evil/creative ways you've got revenge on ppl who have crossed you :)
Hey E- forgot to answer you- Nope he didn't ask for the 3k back. I was still fuming mad at him so I think he was thankful I didn't burn his house down or something ha
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I would boast about, arguably committing a serious criminal offence in order to get revenge on an ex boyfriend
ReplyDeleteAN EYE FOR AN EYE WILL MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND!!!
ReplyDeleteIsn't that good. Its way better than being blind alone. Really.
ReplyDeleteHi Anon 2.39
ReplyDeleteThe message is in latin, fyi.
I don't think S was being 'all grown up' and 'righteous', it is just people having different personalities. Not resorting to pettiness does not equal being 'righteous' or politically correct, right? Personally I would not wet a brat's seat. And I am a girl.
im a libran and i feel the same way .. if someone does something bad enough, i will surely never speak to him/her ever again (as well as exacting revenge) ...
ReplyDeletei am not as bad as heathcliff (in wuthering heights) but i sure as hell am close!!!
HI holly jean! i started reading your blog a month ago!
ReplyDeletei find this 'revenge' very normal and justifiable. im currently an NIE student and everyone expects us to be prim and proper and behave like pastors/nun.
i have a problem, i have an uncle who abandon my grandma (his own mother) a few years back because his wife ask him to do so. i grew up with my grandma all my life and she was very upset about it.
the uncle thinks that my grandma shouldnt have taken care of my dad's kids while leaving his own kids to his wife. ( he's jealous that his mother is taking care of her youngest son's family and not his own). i always have this fantasy of getting a revenge, but i cant bring myself to do it. he never visit for almost 5 years and recently he appeared because his daughter is getting married and he wants to invite us over.
WAT!~ i totally hate his wife and him because they always look down on us. i can write a 10k word essay on this but i think i shall stop here. any advice? sighs. if i dont get it off my head, i will always feel the ache till the day i die cuz i love my grandma sooo much.
i know its not really sensible of me to wan to revenge, but it really hurts to see a family getting away with their responsibilities after they took the inheritence. i dont know how many millions he took, but he refuses to house her after he took the inheritence.
troubled granddaughter
I know exactly how u feel.. cos there are some people I know ... if I had a hand grenade, I wouldn't think twice about lopping it into their house!
ReplyDelete:) What can you do? Not attend the wedding? Maybe. But still not great enough a revenge.
But with things like that.. I suppose no revenge would be good enough. Nothing will even the grounds, nothing will change how they treated you G'ma.
sorry to hear your plight. But at least ur family has a clear conscience.