Monday, November 17, 2008

Is your Boyfriend a P.L.P.?

How and when would you know if the person you're dating is a PLP (Potential-Life-Partner)?


A lot of us have done this... continued dating someone even though you know he/she wasn't someone you would marry. But if you're not looking for someone to settle down with, don't waste time on him ( or waste his time) if you don't see him as a PLP.

As advised by many of my readers... when it comes to relationships, one should not jump into things. Yet.. how long a courtship is necessary before you are in a position to decide if marriage is a good idea? I find that this is subjective, based on how often you meet someone (if it's weekends only, then maybe it will take years), how fast and well you get to know them, and most importantly what the both of you want out of the relationship.

In the midst of forming my own assessment... I've come up with my checklist women can use to see if their boyfriends are marriage material.

Holly Jean's P-L-P Checklist
(Potential Life Partner)

1. Priority


Is he a big priority in your life? Do you feel that you're a top priority in his life?

If you come after work, after his parents, after his friends, after gym, after football.... (after God?).... then, I don't think he's ready to make you a big part of his life yet.

2. Love

Is there a chemistry between the two of you? Do you smile when you think about him? Are you willing to be with him through thick and thin?
Apart from sexual compatibility and attraction (which is very important in my opinion), there also has to be that happy, contented, comforting type feeling which allows you to be yourself and enjoy each others' presence. You don't need to be with that person, but you want to anyway.

3. People

Have the both of you met all the impotant people in each others' lives? He is marriage material if he has introduced you to his family members and close friends. Men tend to be a bit apprehensive when it comes meeting family and friends. If he's done this, it's a sign that he's serious about you.

4. Piggy Bank
Is he Financially stable? Do you fight about money?
A man who's ready for marriage would have his finances in order. He doesn't have to be a bloody millionaire, but if you don't have money worries, then that's one less (major) stress on a marriage.
5. Living Space

How well do the two of you mesh? Have you travelled together? Have you stayed over or lived together?
If he leaves his things at your place and encourages you to do the same, your boyfriend is marriage material. This is a sign of your two worlds meshing. Men who are not looking for commitment will usually insist on keeping their space strictly their space and make travel plans without you in mind.

6. Procreation

Does he cringe when you talk about babies? Have you talked about what sort of future you want?
If a man is not ready for marriage and starting a family, he will put off this subject. Look out for the keywords and phrases of a commitment phobe - "Someday" and " Go with the Flow" !
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:) Do you agree with my checklist??? Have I missed anything out?? Help me out here...

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:25 am

    Are u gettin married soon??????

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8:29 pm

    Hang on.

    So having just declared to the world that you’re working on plans to move in with a guy you met only a few days ago, you're now trying to give advice on what people should review in their partner before making a similarly big decision??

    Question - How many of these 6 points can you truthfully know about Mark?

    Either you're pushing forward regardless of only knowing him a tiny amount of time ("it just feels so right"... swoon), or you think that you're already in a position to know all 6 points about him. Which is just plain bonkers.

    No matter. I’m sure you’ve reconciled in your mind that it all makes perfect sense.

    ReplyDelete
  3. well.. yes.

    :)To answer your QN- How many of these 6 points can you truthfully know about Mark?

    1-Check
    2- check
    3- In the process of being Checked. we've met some friends, he's meeting my folks this thursday. I'm meeting his end of the year (not in Sg).
    4- check
    5- In the process of being checked.
    6- checked.

    Actually, moving in with him is Point number 5. Meshing living spaces. The "big decision" is marriage, not moving in together.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are you planning to get married? Really?

    ReplyDelete
  5. no la.... he's a PLP... but still only potential... even if we decided to get married, all the planning would take some months. So... no... not getting married yet :)

    but i am in happy courtship. my happiest so far.

    ReplyDelete
  6. it is great to have found someone that makes us happy... :)

    stick to that someone if he can continue to make you a happy person ..

    :D

    i like your list :) something that makes me think hard on my own list soon :D

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete