Saturday, January 12, 2008

10 Ways to Win Her Heart

OK.. so you've met a wonderful girl ... what can you do to win her heart? Read on for

Holly Jean's Top 10 Ways To Win Her Heart!

10. Check other women out in her presence. When she catches you, deny it angrily. Remember... the key here is that the more defensive and aggressive you are at denying it.. the more innocent you look. And then, make her feel more worthless than you already have by accusing her of being crazy and or insecure.

9. When she is ill, stay away from her the entire time. Go out and have fun with the boys instead. She will be glad that she isn’t bothering you with her petty medical issues.

8. Tell her how attractive her friend is. After all, it is proven that if you hang around with attractive people, your own attractiveness will appreciate. She will feel like a winner, someone who really knows how to pick em'.

7. When she asks what you think of the little black dress she has bought especially for a night out with you, tell her contemptuously that she looks like a Whore. She will respect your honesty.

6. When asked to do anything, deliberately do it badly so she‘ll be forced to do it right later. This will make you look charmingly inept.

5. On her birthday, don’t do anything she might enjoy. Remember, only planners are losers. Just churn out a gift last minute and if you register disappointment on her face, tell her how the other girls in the office swooned about what a romantic and thoughtful gift it was.

4. Tell her to improve her knowledge of current affairs, geography or any other subject that you are interested in. Remember, the world revolves around you because you are the one with the penis. She will be grateful that you are pointing out her intellectual defects and make plans to improve herself for your benefit.

3. When she is upset that you didn't bother calling the whole day, tell her you don't ring her because she never has anything to say that is of interest to you. Yes, pushing the problem back to her is a good idea. (See point 4 above)


2. Never return her calls. Women like mysterious men. She will pine for you and ignore all the other suitors who make the effort to ring her just to hear her voice.

1. Remain on the prowl and keep your options open. This will keep her keen.

*(Note: I hope my readers are intelligent enough to detect the sarcasm and satire of this piece)

I had to make up for the other post today which was kinda boring_ can't have you thinking I am a mediocre writer now can I ?!

5 comments:

  1. Haha, nice post.

    I figured you were being sarcastic after about the 3rd way or so.

    I hope that your other readers can see that too. XD

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  2. i dont even noe why you have to mention that you were being sarcastic after the post.

    If its for the benefit of some people who "just dont geddit", then they shouldnt even be at this page..seriously.

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  3. Oh my god! good one! U meesed wif my brain cells there for awhile!!! hahahaha!

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  4. Anonymous4:40 pm

    this is exactly how my bf treated me...sad though... :P

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  5. Anonymous12:40 pm

    Nicely written. The sarcasm whacks through. And I'm a guy. Easily a lesson on how NOT to treat my girl. Thanks. ;)

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