For the first time in what has been possibly 3 years, I listened to the sermon in church this morning. It was about how standards have changed and now Marriage, Love & Sex are no longer linked as one.
- Marriage (with love and sex)
- Marriage (with external love &/or sex)
- couplehood with the intention of marriage
- Relationships of monetary significance (e.g. Sugardaddy)
- couplehood as an experiment/convenience
- Fuck Buddies
- One Night Stand
I can't think of anymore... though I'm sure there are quite a few more unions. Well... I've been in about 50% of the above unions at some point of my 5 years of proper adulthood. Where has that gotten me? Any closer to the Ideal? ( That would be the trinity of love, marriage and sex, Doofus!)
In the world today, we're exposed and opened to a lot of opportunities. I guess we as a human race have not changed. It is the world which has changed and we are essentially still the same people. For instance, if a man does not cheat, it does not mean he is Good. Did he remain faithful because he had no opportunity to cheat? Or did he have the opportunity to cheat but used his sheer willpower and moral fortitude to be a good person?
So. Just because less people in the past indulged in unwholesome unions (e.g. casual fornication)... it does not mean that they were better people than we are now. They had less opportunities.
We have simply through the internet... sites like Adult Friend Finder and its equivalents- which is a huge playground for people with foul intentions and a bottomless ditch for people with weak morals.
Sex has increasingly been promoted as recreation (Wheeeee!). SAFE SEX. It's okay to have casual sex, as long as it's safe. I don't mean to be a prude... but really honey, it's never safe. How much do you value your life? How easily are you swayed by hype and the herd mentality? Sex has been packaged as something that is alluring. It's almost as if someone who can pull the opposite sex at a club or anywhere... is to be revered. Tell me honestly... how many of your drunken or semi-intoxicated one night stands have you actually enjoyed? Face it. You only like the idea of it. Makes you feel like a babe/stud doesn't it. Makes you feel good that people around you know that you can pull. Well, your one night partner, anonymous or forgotten, probably thought you were shit in bed. I know I would have.
When I was in college, my GP teacher mentioned, "sex is over rated"... And he wasn't an old fart either. He was a tall, young, pretty good looking man. But at my age then, I thought:"WHAT?! He must be doing it wrong" . But I realise now. Yes, sex is over rated. What can you really attain from that fleeting pleasure that you couldn't on your own? I can only think of the fact that maybe the partner would give praise and compliment you and that would fill some voids.
Sex is part of the trinity. On its own, it is nothing.
OK, I am going to digress a little. Since we're talking about the internet and all it has to offer. Pornography. I admit my eyes are not strangers to porn. I'm only human, and I am only curious. And I'm not against brining it into the bedroom for some fun, even laughs with your significant other. But to get off on it? I don't understand how an indulgence can be healthy. Such indulgence is only for the weak minded. Either that or the very underprivileged. How many times have you heard the excuse- men are visual creatures, therefore they need porn. I've heard so many girls say that on some forum where they discuss whether porn is right or not. WTF. If you have a foul habit because you have something lacking in your life, don't blame it on nature. SO .. if a Man rapes someone [woman/man/child/animal], do we let him off because it was the ol' animal instinct in him? He just couldn't help it. (!)
I don't regret my past unions, they were experiences I learnt from and made me who I am today. However, I refuse to believe that the trinity no longer exists. I'm not giving up. Yes... in the past I've indulged in one or the other without it being a trinity. But it's important in life to know when the experiments must stop and to work towards the ultimate. I'm going for the trinity. Just you wait and see.
--- By the way, a Vule is a castrated bull (in Czech). And early on in our relationship, Skye used that term when I did something stupid (can't remember what it was), "What are you doing, you vule!?" Usually used in endearing terms. It kinda sounds like fool. Now there's a feminine form to the word too... vulina. But if you're pissed with someone, I don't think calling them a vule is going to cut it really. Trust me, just stick with asshole.