Thursday, September 28, 2006

Mother Hood, Mother Nature, Mother F*ckers

MOTHERHOOD: Up to recently, I never knew anyone who had a baby. Like Sudoku puzzles or laundry or the mating habits of crickets - pregnant women had absolutely nothing to do with me.

So last year, when my ex Bf Ash's best friend had a child and then two of my cousins in Perth started their families as well. And two of my close girlfriends had abortions. And when i was talking to Skye after dinner yesterday, the topic of pregnancy just came up briefly. And a friend of mine found out today that he got one of his girlfriends up the duff. The whole concept of pregnancy and motherhood became more real to me.

My feelings towards pregnancy are mixed. On the one hand, it would be lovely to eat for two. Not that I don't already do that anyway, but it would be nice not to feel guilty about it. It would also be nice to be a hip young desirable mother with all those stylo Diaper Bags and Outfits.

On the other hand, I've spent my entire life trying not to get fat. (Don't even get me started on the stretch marks...) Another impediment to my desire to be preggie is my cowardice. The PAIN , the BLOOD, the GORE! I don't understand why something as allegedly natural as childbirth should hurt the body (mine!) so much.

Dear MOTHER NATURE: I understand how it all gets in, no complaints in that department. But you've done a shit job at designing how it all gets out again.

MOTHER F*CKERS: If you're going to have irresponsible sex... and you get away with it the first 7 million times, some day, your luck will run out. You know it's true. You can fool yourself but you cannot fool probability.

This does not only apply to getting knocked up. It applies to life and the risks we take. Be it lying, or cheating on a partner, or stealing , or gambling.

Yes... I'm a mother f*cker too. I think we all are, by my definition.

5 comments:

  1. nevertheless, i love ur posts with all the vulgarities (:

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  2. Love ya post, keep the laughs coming! PS: Sudoku doesn't do it for me either.

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  3. Cher. Your posts are rocking!!! Ahahas. (:

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  4. your posts are nice. as in nice la.
    you write what u feel like writing. btw. my link is www.conflictedlove.blogspot.com
    much loves-

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  5. YoungMan11:04 pm

    Heya Holly ma best buddy! finally got the time to do wad i wanted: a break! din noe it will be so fast and furious though...

    Take care of my guys for me k? while i settle my stuff.

    Sorry to trouble u all the time, i appreciated it.

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