Monday, September 25, 2006

The Imeldas, Evelyns & Victorias


In the same way that men are either breast-men, leg-men, ass-men, or I'll-take-what-I-can-get-men, women are divided into shoe women, bath products women, or nice underwear women. I'm a shoe woman... or an Imelda.

An Imelda would buy shoes that are not of the right size simply because they like them. Too big? Hey! That's why god invented insoles. Too tight? Well, what's a little bit of pain...

How to know if you're an Imelda:

  • If you've bought shoes and never worn them because you didnt want to dirty them.
  • If you structure your day around the shoes you want to wear!
  • If you would rather lie and say you have athelete's foot than lend your shoes to someone.
  • If you've ever sustained an injury from wearing a pair of shoes... and didn't mind.
  • If you've ever slept in a pair (and not because you were so drunk that you could not take them off).
  • You frequently take your shoes out of their boxes, put them on just to look at them and feel happy.

I am definitely NOT an Evelyn. I call women who indulge in bath products and smells Evelyns. Yes, I can't think of any other name for them except from Crabtree & Evelyn because I don't know much about bath products.

Once, many years ago... i dated this German. Names shall not be mentioned. But when he got back from a business trip, and missed my Birthday in the process, he bought me stuff from LUSH. soap is soap. Giving me soap and bubbles is equivalent to giving me stationary really. I don't care for it. AND to make matters worse... I peeked in his luggage... and there was an identical LUSH box.. when I questioned him about it, he said it was for his secretary! A thank you Gift. Yeah... that went down well with me, made me feel REALLY special. hmph.

This is off topic but I just HAVE to mention it. When I left his house, he didn't bother driving me home ( what's the use of having all those cars in the driveway huh?), he didn't even bother walking me to a taxi (let alone pay for it)... he stood at the doorway, said byebye, and puckered up! expecting me to kiss him goodbye. I felt like throwing my boots in his face. I should have.

Before you form the opinion that all Germans are tight and stingy, like I did then... let me tell you that I met another German shortly after who was anything but tight. (will probably blog about him someday).

OK ... lastly, the Victorias. Women who love having nice underwear. The right underwear can make a woman feel sexy or happy, et cetera. In this day and age... I don't think anyone in my generation or after, has any excuse to wear ugly underwear. What.. with all the lycra lace, G-strings, push ups, satin, silk, skin cool effects, the list goes on... But Victorias have an obsession. They're the kind who only wear matching sets.. who hand wash their lingerie and treat them delicately. I don't have the gene for good laundry skills ( ask my Bf, he knows). I say.. if you can't afford to throw it in the machine and risk having it come out wonky... then don't buy it. simple.

Which are you?

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