Comments on A Thing (or Two) About Holly Jean: Thailand- It's Not Service, It's Servitude

Thanks for your thoughts HJ. I honestly don't ...

2012-02-06T22:23:28.601+08:00

Thanks for your thoughts HJ. I honestly don't know if I can bring myself to be around a smoker for the long run. How does one get over the smell of secondhand smoke, esp. post-cig breath?? I've seen my share of people saying "Oh I'll quit one of these days"... yeah sure, like when? o_O

It's a little early and we're just feeling our way around each other. I have a feeling he's not one to quit soon. Guess I'll get to talking to him about this soon enough. *haiz* Thanks again HJ!

Wow. Never notice that they are racist before.

2012-02-04T02:53:01.123+08:00

Wow. Never notice that they are racist before.

well.. smoking has never been a deal breaker for m...

2012-01-30T23:56:53.382+08:00

well.. smoking has never been a deal breaker for me.

David is trying to quit (esp now tht we are going to start a future/family together) and I am sure he eventually will quit. But I wld be with him even if he doesnt quit.

If it's a deal breaker for you, you need to speak to him (in non accusing manner). Just tell him ur concerns regarding smoking. But I got to tell u, if he's not ready to quit.. it's damn hard to.

I knew a married couple once (like 8 years ago)... BOTH husband and wife told each other they quit already. And yet, when I go toilet, she will come along and steal a cigarette off me (i used to smoke in Uni). And then when we are in the toilet, her husband steals a cig off my (ex) BF (who also smoked).

Hi HJ, unrelated question, hope you don't mind...

2012-01-30T23:45:47.901+08:00

Hi HJ, unrelated question, hope you don't mind. I noticed that you mentioned that the fiancé smokes and I don't recall reading that you do. Could you shed any light on how to "deal" with something like this? I've just started dating someone who is a smoker (and I've quit over 10 yrs ago), and as much as he may be a nice guy, his smoking could potentially be a deal-breaker for me. Not sure how to approach this... your thoughts?

Re: servitude, some will say the same phenomenon o...

2012-01-28T14:12:44.906+08:00

Re: servitude, some will say the same phenomenon of putting the white man on top of the food-chain exists in most of Asia. You have yourself shown a distinct preference for white men - and seen nasty comments on your blog as a result. I am not being judgemental here, but I think all of this 'preferencial treatment' for good or bad reasons goes towards creating stereotypes. I have myself heard all of the following during my visits to Singapore, KL, Bangkok, etc.:

1. White men prefer Asian girls because they are submissive and low maintenance.

2. White men prefer Asian girls because they have a fetish for petite and girls who look 20 even when they are 35 (in western eyes).

3. Asian girls date/marry white men to quickly rise up the social ladder.

4. Asian girls are looking for sugar-daddies to get rich fast.

While some of this may be true, my guess is these stereotypes will disappear with increasing wealth and social change in the East.

Like you, I love Thailand but yes, their attitude/...

2012-01-27T11:20:35.581+08:00

Like you, I love Thailand but yes, their attitude/mindset towards the Caucasian-man with Asian-woman combination is incredibly frustrating.

I just returned from Thailand after the CNY weekend and whilst I was playing golf with my boyfriend there, the Thai caddy who was with me for the day actually didn't believe me when I said that we were both from SG and that I am not a working girl. Her response to me was, "But he is white. You no. He no pay you?" I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. (I didn't swing my golf club at her, in case you were wondering. It was tempting though! :P)

Then again, this has happened to me in Bali, in Hanoi, in HCMC, in Australia, and heck, even at home, when people see me with my bf, they assume I must be a SPG.

Fantastic. :)

You're right it's no excuse. I went to Tha...

2012-01-26T16:35:46.931+08:00

You're right it's no excuse. I went to Thailand earlier in the year as well, also with my ang mo fiancee.

I was in Patpong, and this prostitute walked up to me and said: "Is he yours? If not I want." Reffering to my fiancee as a customer.

I said, yep, he's mine. Thought it was funny actually. But yah, I really think they shouldn't assume. Ugh.

It is the same in Bali. They are really racist. I ...

2012-01-25T18:50:33.302+08:00

It is the same in Bali. They are really racist. I realized that the hotel that me and my boyfriend stayed in had no asians at all. Australians and Americans were the bulk of the guests. We took a walk by the beach behind the hotel and decided to wash our feet by the washing area when we walked back to the hotel. The staff immediately stopped us to verify if we were the guests. Then we went for some water sports. The person refused to flip us over when we were on a banana boat. And the point of a banana boat was to flip us over into the sea! They only gave us a ride round the sea. I was infuriated. I paid for it, same amount as the ang mohs. The ang mohs get to flip countless times. Only when we were paired up with 3 ang mohs the second round were we able to get flipped over which is super fun. Later I realized they were actually just prejudiced against Chinese from china. We went snorkelling after the banana boat and the snorkelling equipment were not enough to go around. The ang mohs were really quick to snatch the equipment. One of the staff then asked where we were from, and when he knew we are Singaporeans, he immediately snatched two from the last few equipment and gave it to us. The Chinese from china either had to wait or did not get a chance to go down. It was a really bad experience all in all. I'll never go there again.

They think you're for "hired" and th...

2012-01-25T18:37:29.845+08:00

They think you're for "hired" and that's why go to the man. Before you think I'm insulting you, WAIT cos I'm not. I'm Thai and in Thailand, whenever they see a white guy with an Asian woman, they'll think the woman is a prostitute cos it's so damn common in Thailand where loser white men go there and have "dates" with paid women. It's very insulting but I think they see it so often that it's kinda ingrained in them that if there's a couple of white man and Asian woman, she must be a prostitute. It's annoying but it's just the way it is unfortunately.

Yup.. meant servitude as in they take on the role ...

2012-01-25T17:18:23.137+08:00

Yup.. meant servitude as in they take on the role of servants (though its passed off as great service)

Yup i see a lot of fat old white.men with thai gfs here. but i dont think reception thought i was one as she copied our passports n mine is a glaring red singapore one. but even if i were thai... thts no reason to give me poorer treatment or not let me fill out a form

Hi, yep, I agree with you. Service there is genera...

2012-01-25T17:08:27.312+08:00

Hi, yep, I agree with you. Service there is generally very attentive, I see it going down - but it's still pretty good.

I know what you mean though. They definitely treat white people differently. It could be that for a place like phuket, a tourist down, they think white people = money. So they tend to get treated better.

Also, there are big fat white men with pretty young thai girls everywhere. So you may have gotten mistaken for one of them (not that your fiancee is fat)

Its just a mindset. Just like how we are thrown for a loop when we see an ang mo cleaner.

One thing though: Servitude actually means the actions of someone in the role of a servant, it doesn't actually mean service mentality.

Hope your CNY was a wonderful one!

Phuket is really nice. I was there for Christmas b...

2012-01-25T15:04:44.585+08:00

Phuket is really nice. I was there for Christmas break last year. Not so sure about the servitude part because I am happy to let my man take care of everything. =)

Enjoy your trip!