Friday, September 16, 2016

Letters to Myla Rae - The Measure of a Man

Open when- You feel you can't find the ONE ... aka ALL MEN ARE SHIT

My Dearest Myla Rae

Nobody is perfect.

Yup, not even your daddy whom you adore very much. Even he has his  anger issues flaws.

When I was younger, I treated men like they were disposable. Your surname doesn't go well with my first name... pass. You read but didn't reply my SMS immediately... I cannot date you anymore. You looked at that pretty waitress for 5 seconds too long... bye bye. Don't like your shirt... next!

I kid you not. It was a bad (albeit rather fun and exhilarating) decade of my life.

And you know what? Actually, any one of them could have been the one. I just never stuck around long enough to find out. I held them to some impossible standard. And while I'm rather happily settled down with your father. He's not perfect. Heck, he's probably no better than the majority of men I've dated in the past.

But one thing he does have... are the rock steady qualities I wanted in a life partner. Because of who I am as a person (fickle, playful, competitive and rather entitled) it took me a long while to realize what these I qualities that I needed were. And everyone's list maybe different. You just need to figure out yours.

It didn't matter that I hated your father's Paul Smith crazy striped shirt on our first date. From that very first date, he radiated humility and a vulnerability I found honest.

It doesn't matter that he has a temper that can shoot from zero to I-need-to-smash-something over the slightest things. His temper dies down and the moment passes. But his fierce sense of loyalty and faithfulness never wavers. It is a constant. He is one of the only men I've been with where I can honestly not worry about what he's up to when I'm not around.

It doesn't matter that he is not rich. Heck, seriously honey, you should have seen some of the men I dated in the past. He doesn't say it often but I know, every day he is working, he is doing it for you (and me). He is saving every dime so that hopefully, you will never have to do without. While he is hard at work, I am here seated comfortably on the sofa with a nice roof over my head, typing on my laptop and watching you play.
I don't miss being wined and dined by men. This is not your father's style. In fact if he got me bangers and mash in the pub, I should be so lucky. But he is with me (with us) for those meals... or lack of meals lol. He is home with us every evening and every night. This security and dependability trumps any fancy meal, anywhere. (Though I quite badly miss having pan seared foie gras haha)

So you say that you can't find the ONE? Think about what you truly want and need in a person, and then look again. And don't give up looking until you find him (or her). Some of us just take a while longer to strike oil... but it's there. He's there.

Love you,
Mum.
 

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:47 pm

    This post is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete