Thursday, February 19, 2015

Don't Marry Until You've Traveled?

I read an article some weeks ago about how you should travel with someone before getting married to them. Supposedly because when you spend that much time with someone in a foreign place, you see the true side of them... bullshit lol.

I've traveled with many boyfriends, and with some of them we thoroughly enjoyed it and got along great... but in real life, back in the real everyday world, the relationships were so excruciatingly draining.

When I read the article, I thought back to what my first trip with my husband David was like. And whether I could tell from that first trip - how good a match we were, or whether it was a reflection of what he would be like after marriage.

Well, the very first trip was within 2 months of dating. He took me to Phuket. I didn't lift a finger for this trip... he booked the tickets and the accommodation. In fact, when we arrived, and checked into the Royal Yacht Club in Naiharn in the evening, I exclaimed ,"Woah... are you trying to impress me??!"  And he said no...  but I was impressed anyway. It was beautiful! With our own private balcony overlooking the sea. And bear in mind, we were not having sex at this point and he already said we would wait till marriage... so it was not like he was trying to get in my pants.

Then the next day, we went walking about. And OH MY GOD I nearly passed out. He can just live on beer alone. I can't. I kept asking if we could stop and eat, and he would say not yet, let's just walk a little further (in the blasting hot sun). And all the time, we could stop at beach pub after beach pub for drinks but not at a food place. FUCK THIS SHIT, if we were back in Singapore I swear I would just leave. But I can't because we're on holiday and I would feel bad... and probably also not make it back to to the hotel safely on my own. By the time we finally went for some food, towards the end of the day, my hands were trembling trying to eat my spring rolls. I kid you not. It was so miserable.

Now, things are different, he knows when I'm hungry, I need to eat. When he's drinking, I know he doesn't think of food so instead of waiting for him to be hungry, I always make it a point to get my food, regardless. And he can usually tell that I need to eat, sometimes he knows it before I do... he can sense it and he'll say, "Holly's hungry, we need to get her fed." So that worked out, despite what happened on our first trip.
But what appeared to be a great thing on that first trip together (him doing all the planning and booking and paying), well all that ended after the second trip (it was to Scotland). Ever since then (meaning for the last 3 years), I've been sorting out all our trips... including our honeymoon. I wish to take a time machine back to August 2011, that girl standing at the lobby of the Royal Yacht Club saying "Woah... are you trying to impress me??!"     I would point my finger at her and laugh real loudly HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA jokes on you darling.

Well anyway, the next trip (which was supposed to be last week, and now too late, so he's planning this but with CNY, last minute tickets are just not a smart idea) anyway, he said he wants us to go somewhere this month. We shall see. I'm going to just wait instead of being my usual gan cheong spider self taking over the reigns. When you keep doing it, people don't appreciate your efforts anymore.

There are many good things about David which never came out during our travels and there bad things which didn't surface at the time either. So yeah, this don't marry until you travel advice... I would take it with a pinch of salt. A marriage is so different from a holiday! 

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