Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Distinguished Man's Guide to Dating a Younger Woman

For a good chunk of my adult life, I've been dating older men. I don't remember how it came about exactly... but I started off as a teenager dating boys my age and quite often guys who were a year or two younger than me. It wasn't until later in university when I started expanding my social circles, and started hanging out with an older crowd.
Oh you lucky bitch!
Very early on in life, I remember being quite taken by a Doctor who was in his mid 30s. We were not a couple, but I did hang out with him very often, and he would pick me up from my uni which was near his place, and we would go for dinner during the week. I enjoyed his company thoroughly. I was always mesmerized and in awe with his wisdom and experiences and I could just listen to him all evening. I guess that shaped my preference in men. [Anyway, he later moved back to Switzerland and we still kept in contact for a while, until he started dating (like really dating) a 16 year old girl who was his neighbour.. WTF that's a bit sick isn't it?]

The biggest age gap I've had was with my ex Mark, that's a 20 year gap. Two decades! But honestly, it was a good relationship while it lasted (almost 2 years I think). My husband now is 12 year older than me, and I can't actually say that makes much of a difference to me... 12 and 20. They are just numbers.

I just purposely started closing the age gap, dating men who were about 10 years older only because anything closer to 20 made other people gasp. Haha.

Anyway, before I digress, here is the distinguished man's guide to dating a younger woman.

1. Don't act her age
If she wanted a young boy, she would have picked a young boy. Don't feel the pressure to act her age because quite frankly, you will look pathetic. The attraction of an older man is indeed that he is older and with it comes maturity (well, usually), a certain worldliness and 'been there done that' sort of attitude.
 
2. You don't have to be her ATM machine
Of course, there are many older men out there who date younger girls that they lavish with expensive gifts and shopping sprees. If you want to buy love that way, and you can afford to, then by all means, go ahead. But wouldn't you prefer to be with someone who wasn't with you just for money and a cushy life. There are those who genuinely find older men more attractive, you just have to weed through the gold diggers to get to them. I suppose the key here is to be discerning and have some kind of standard.
 
3. Be Protective
At least for me, one of the draws of an older man is the sense of security. Not in the brute sense ( although that can be hot too)... but in the sense that you're mature enough to have her best interests at heart. You've been around a whole lot longer, and have more experience. Be there for her.
 
4. Be decisive
Being wishy washy and  fickle is very very very unattractive. The appeal of the older gentleman is that he takes charge, he knows what he wants and he has a lot to show for it. The surfer dude, chilling beach bum type personality is not appealing to a woman who likes older men.

5. Keep up
While you don't have to act her age, you should still maintain your appearance and health. Keep fit, eat healthy, groom yourself well. That makes you one super hot older man. 

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