Friday, July 25, 2014

Women Hate Uncertainty...

Men! They court you, they take you out to dinner, they charm you, they make you fall in love with them... and then the progression mostly ends there. With a big question mark. ?
Naturally it takes time to decide if a person is right for you, but a lot of men think that the most important thing is the chase. Once he has you hooked, he will feel as though the objective has been met and the game is over and won. Now he can sit back, relax and think nature will just take it's course in the progression of the relationship. 

This is when all the problems start. Some people mistake it for the end of the 'honeymoon period' in a new relationship.... but what it really is... is the end of tangible progression.

So to the guys reading this... you may be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship. You see, women do not like uncertainty. We (and our friends) will start to question why we are in the relationship if we don't know where it's going. We might panic and assume something is wrong. We might start over compensating and turning on the pressure too much to the point that we smother you. Or worse still, interrogate you regarding your feelings towards the relationship. Uncertainty is the reason we let the crazy out of the bottle.
Here is what you need to do to get rid of uncertainty (and prevent the crazy):

1. Communicate your intentions. Of course, it's not all up to you, the purpose of communication is to find out what she wants in this relationship too. Is it just casual? Or does she expect something exclusive? Are you on the same page? Is there a compromise?

2. Give it a timeline. Do you know for a fact that you don't intend to settle down until you have been working for a year? Or perhaps you are planning to study overseas for 3 years so you  are not looking to get serious about marriage until after you return to Singapore? Craft out a timelline and make it known to her so she's in the loop and can make informed decisions rather than have her keep guessing what's going to happen. And worse still, act on misinformation.

3. Don't let it stagnate. You don't want things to settle in a relationship rut. Life needs to keep moving and your relationship should be fluid. There's no need for large milestones all the time, but small steps in progression will keep her sane. For instance, introduce her to your circle of friends, then to your family, invite her to your best friend's wedding as your plus one, then plan a weekend away together, give her the spare house keys. The key is constant progression.

Uncertainty causes unnecessary hurt and pain between partners.... and if you've ever wondered why the relationships you've had in the past all ended with because the girls slowly turned psycho on you.. questioning your every move.... well, it's all down to the uncertainty you have caused her to feel! If you're serious about the girl and want it to work, make the conscious effort to minimize uncertainty.
P.S.- I just got back from Bangkok. Was there for the lookbook shoot for the HollyJean X ClubCouture 2014 collection :)  Stay tuned for behind the scenes, and I'll let you know when this year's collection is launched!

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