Ever since I got married last year, friends and acquaintances have been asking "How's married life?" And my response is always - "Oh, it's the same, nothing's changed."
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I wasn't lying. Nothing's changed in the sense that we still do the same things like when we were dating... going for drinks, and walks, and just hanging out at home with a pizza and movie. I don't even feel the difference in the amount of time spent together.. probably because we did spend most days of the week together in the past when we were engaged, so now that we see each other day in day out.. it's not such a big deal.
But really looking into it, marriage has indeed changed me (not all for the better).
1. Priorities Change
My priorities now include a starting a family... and every decision ... like where to live, large purchases, financial decisions, work, all revolve around plans to start a family.
2. I Realise I'm stuck
Well... in all honesty... all married people are stuck to some extent. When I was single, if I were unhappy with someone, I would just break up, walk away and start again. But now that I'm legally bound to someone and we have merged practically our whole lives together ... walking away (divorce) is a very very big deal and only the absolute last resort. So in the interim... it's a feeling like.. if I'm unhappy with anything at all in the relationship, I just got to find a way to compromise or fix it, or just live with it.
3. I'm Less Bothered about People's Opinions
It doesn't matter to me if other men find me attractive, I'm not bothered if women give me disapproving looks. I am my husband's wife and I love the feeling of belonging.
4. Friendships Change
This is both good and bad. You see, after marriage, I have found that I have less time to spend with friends, so my social circle has scaled down. This also means that some friends just naturally filtered out of my life. But the good thing is, the very few friendships that I have kept, are now stronger than ever.
5. I Worry for Two
I don't only worry about my problems but I worry about his problems too. And it's his problems which I cannot fix that can keep me up at night.
So, how's married life for you? Is it really still the same?
I wasn't lying. Nothing's changed in the sense that we still do the same things like when we were dating... going for drinks, and walks, and just hanging out at home with a pizza and movie. I don't even feel the difference in the amount of time spent together.. probably because we did spend most days of the week together in the past when we were engaged, so now that we see each other day in day out.. it's not such a big deal.
But really looking into it, marriage has indeed changed me (not all for the better).
1. Priorities Change
My priorities now include a starting a family... and every decision ... like where to live, large purchases, financial decisions, work, all revolve around plans to start a family.
2. I Realise I'm stuck
Well... in all honesty... all married people are stuck to some extent. When I was single, if I were unhappy with someone, I would just break up, walk away and start again. But now that I'm legally bound to someone and we have merged practically our whole lives together ... walking away (divorce) is a very very big deal and only the absolute last resort. So in the interim... it's a feeling like.. if I'm unhappy with anything at all in the relationship, I just got to find a way to compromise or fix it, or just live with it.
3. I'm Less Bothered about People's Opinions
It doesn't matter to me if other men find me attractive, I'm not bothered if women give me disapproving looks. I am my husband's wife and I love the feeling of belonging.
4. Friendships Change
This is both good and bad. You see, after marriage, I have found that I have less time to spend with friends, so my social circle has scaled down. This also means that some friends just naturally filtered out of my life. But the good thing is, the very few friendships that I have kept, are now stronger than ever.
5. I Worry for Two
I don't only worry about my problems but I worry about his problems too. And it's his problems which I cannot fix that can keep me up at night.
So, how's married life for you? Is it really still the same?
totally agree with you! esp for 2 and 4. sometimes gets me real depressed but then i came to think that in life, u gain something u lose something...we only have 24 hours a day...something's gotta give.. and if family is our priority, some friends will naturally just get filtered out...sad but true.
ReplyDelete- Landy
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI do agree !!!
I am feeling the same..everything gonna be changed ..I loved my independence is no more with me...
Thanks:)
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