This is the first month we finally stopped using condoms after being married for 1 year and 3 months. (Seriously, my husband would not touch me with a barge pole without contraceptive barriers).
Finally this month, we have started to try to conceive. I would have liked to have reached this point a whole lot earlier in our marriage. But for David, the time was never right (because of money and work woes).
To be honest, just last month, I was starting to seriously doubt his intentions. Every time we talked about having babies, he would say, "soon", "not yet", "our time will come". And if I harped on it too much, he would get angry. I waited more than a year after marriage, but it was still not time yet. Then some of my friends started suspecting that hey, maybe he's just dragging you along, and he actually doesn't want kids. (WTF)
I have dumped fabulous boyfriends in the past as soon as I found out that they didn't plan to have kids after marriage. I've had the "family" conversation with my husband even before we got engaged... and he said he did want kids. Imagine sod's law in full force if I ended up marrying someone who didn't want kids afterall!
It was starting to seriously worry me. But as luck would have it, in a very strange twist of fate, he just woke up one day and was ready.
So this month (April) is our first month trying to conceive (or at least the first month not avoiding conception). And I've been charting my basal body temperature (BBT) every morning. Definitely detected ovulation on the 14th, as I'm one of the lucky ones who get a big dip the day before ovulation and a big rise on the day of ovulation, making it obvious when it happens. So timed intercourse well this first round.
(Background info: I actually started charting my BBT for a couple of months last year so I would understand my cycle once the time came to try to conceive.. I just didn't realise it would take this long to reach this point. lol. Anyway, if you're planning to try in the future, I definitely recommend you start charting before that. You can google how to do it)
Anyway, I'm now in the 2 week wait (2WW). 12 days past ovulation to be exact (12 DPO). I have absolutely NO SYMPTOMS ( I read online about people getting symptoms like nausea as early as 5 DPO). I had heartburn (which I never had before in my life!) on 9DPO and 10 DPO. And early on at around 6 DPO I had the sickening taste of bile at the back of my throat. Yuck. But that is it. No bad cramps, no implantation bleeding, nothing.(
I did a home pregnancy test (HPT) yesterday ( I really shouldn't have! 11 DPO is so early!).. it was a big fat negative (BFN). And that really got me feeling dejected.
My temperatures have stayed well above my cover line on my chart (with small fluctuations here and there, and a normal surge of estrogen on 3 DPO which caused it to dip and the go right back up the next day). But today at 12 DPO my temperature dropped :(
They say, when your period is coming, your temperature will dip (eventually drop below the cover line of your chart). But if you're pregnant, it stays up. So I'm waiting to see if it goes back up tomorrow or not.
I suspect I had a low reading today because I didn't sleep well. My husband kept waking me up, as he usually does when he can't sleep (Normally I don't mind this as I'm a light sleeper anyway. But at this point when I need 3 hours straight sleep in order to get an accurate BBT reading... I'm like.. FUCKKKK!!!!). He woke me at 4plus am ( I take my temp every morning at 6am), and I could not force myself back to sleep for quite a while.
However, I'm not optimistic about it. I started out this cycle thinking.. maybe just maybe I'll be one of those who gets pregnant on her first try! Especially since I know most of the science behind it. But I guess being such a nerd is a bad thing cos I'm reading so much into every temperature fluctuation and I'm bumming myself out.
They say it takes a healthy couple up to 1 year to get pregnant.. and every cycle there's only about 20% (or something shitily low like that) chance of pregnancy. I know quite a few people who have done it in 3 months. And only one who did it on the first attempt.I don't know if I should share this news with you. Usually people don't share the news that they are trying to conceive because, it can get stressful, and what if you're not successful after many months?? Then everyone will know you're trying and failing at it. (!!)
I blame my husband for wanting to wait. Now TTC is like an event. It would have been so much less stressful (for me) if we just let nature take its course from the very start and just see how it goes. The other day with some friends of his, I ordered a coke instead of a beer, and his friend was like , "a coke?!" And my husband said " Yes, cos she's going to be a mummy soon". And I was like.. woah.. you're jumping the gun. Fuck, do you think it's THAT easy to get pregnant?!
The truth is, it doesn’t matter how easy or hard trying to get pregnant is for anyone else but you. Besides, 99 percent of the time, you really don’t know someone else’s story. It may not have been as easy for her as you think.
Can you share your trying to conceive (TTC) journey with me too? I just need a little perk me up so I don't have to throw myself a pity party.
Finally this month, we have started to try to conceive. I would have liked to have reached this point a whole lot earlier in our marriage. But for David, the time was never right (because of money and work woes).
To be honest, just last month, I was starting to seriously doubt his intentions. Every time we talked about having babies, he would say, "soon", "not yet", "our time will come". And if I harped on it too much, he would get angry. I waited more than a year after marriage, but it was still not time yet. Then some of my friends started suspecting that hey, maybe he's just dragging you along, and he actually doesn't want kids. (WTF)
I have dumped fabulous boyfriends in the past as soon as I found out that they didn't plan to have kids after marriage. I've had the "family" conversation with my husband even before we got engaged... and he said he did want kids. Imagine sod's law in full force if I ended up marrying someone who didn't want kids afterall!
It was starting to seriously worry me. But as luck would have it, in a very strange twist of fate, he just woke up one day and was ready.
So this month (April) is our first month trying to conceive (or at least the first month not avoiding conception). And I've been charting my basal body temperature (BBT) every morning. Definitely detected ovulation on the 14th, as I'm one of the lucky ones who get a big dip the day before ovulation and a big rise on the day of ovulation, making it obvious when it happens. So timed intercourse well this first round.
(Background info: I actually started charting my BBT for a couple of months last year so I would understand my cycle once the time came to try to conceive.. I just didn't realise it would take this long to reach this point. lol. Anyway, if you're planning to try in the future, I definitely recommend you start charting before that. You can google how to do it)
Anyway, I'm now in the 2 week wait (2WW). 12 days past ovulation to be exact (12 DPO). I have absolutely NO SYMPTOMS ( I read online about people getting symptoms like nausea as early as 5 DPO). I had heartburn (which I never had before in my life!) on 9DPO and 10 DPO. And early on at around 6 DPO I had the sickening taste of bile at the back of my throat. Yuck. But that is it. No bad cramps, no implantation bleeding, nothing.(
I did a home pregnancy test (HPT) yesterday ( I really shouldn't have! 11 DPO is so early!).. it was a big fat negative (BFN). And that really got me feeling dejected.
My temperatures have stayed well above my cover line on my chart (with small fluctuations here and there, and a normal surge of estrogen on 3 DPO which caused it to dip and the go right back up the next day). But today at 12 DPO my temperature dropped :(
They say, when your period is coming, your temperature will dip (eventually drop below the cover line of your chart). But if you're pregnant, it stays up. So I'm waiting to see if it goes back up tomorrow or not.
I suspect I had a low reading today because I didn't sleep well. My husband kept waking me up, as he usually does when he can't sleep (Normally I don't mind this as I'm a light sleeper anyway. But at this point when I need 3 hours straight sleep in order to get an accurate BBT reading... I'm like.. FUCKKKK!!!!). He woke me at 4plus am ( I take my temp every morning at 6am), and I could not force myself back to sleep for quite a while.
However, I'm not optimistic about it. I started out this cycle thinking.. maybe just maybe I'll be one of those who gets pregnant on her first try! Especially since I know most of the science behind it. But I guess being such a nerd is a bad thing cos I'm reading so much into every temperature fluctuation and I'm bumming myself out.
They say it takes a healthy couple up to 1 year to get pregnant.. and every cycle there's only about 20% (or something shitily low like that) chance of pregnancy. I know quite a few people who have done it in 3 months. And only one who did it on the first attempt.I don't know if I should share this news with you. Usually people don't share the news that they are trying to conceive because, it can get stressful, and what if you're not successful after many months?? Then everyone will know you're trying and failing at it. (!!)
I blame my husband for wanting to wait. Now TTC is like an event. It would have been so much less stressful (for me) if we just let nature take its course from the very start and just see how it goes. The other day with some friends of his, I ordered a coke instead of a beer, and his friend was like , "a coke?!" And my husband said " Yes, cos she's going to be a mummy soon". And I was like.. woah.. you're jumping the gun. Fuck, do you think it's THAT easy to get pregnant?!
The truth is, it doesn’t matter how easy or hard trying to get pregnant is for anyone else but you. Besides, 99 percent of the time, you really don’t know someone else’s story. It may not have been as easy for her as you think.
Can you share your trying to conceive (TTC) journey with me too? I just need a little perk me up so I don't have to throw myself a pity party.
Comments
Damn, I sounded like I'm promoting the app. But it is worth a try.. it's free anyway. (I'm also one of those lucky ones that my period comes on the exact date every month, so it is easy to track).
Good luck!
I rmb when I was ttc and every month after we got married and I was secretly disappointed, although I kept telling family and friends that if it happens it happens each time they asked. It is quite a bummer I recalled though i know it will take a while as i just got off the pills after a decade of taking it. So when I got my period each month as I didn't track my cycles, I was down.
I did start taking blackmore conceive gold and after taking one box I found out I was pregnant... and now is a proud mummy of 3 month old lassie.
I also had more fun in bed without much expectations. I think it is important to manage our expectations and just have fun.
All the best dear! May we hear good news soon!
I made that mistake the first time. My hubby felt I was too aggressive in the bedroom, and that kind of put him off. So after a heart-to-heart, we agreed that more sex must take place with the intention of having a baby. But we'd both bear equal responsibility of initiating each other. I stopped being too aggressive, and instead played it more subtle by dressing up more often to invite him to initiate. I guessed that worked for us.
When I finally conceived, it was huge sigh of relief from the both of us. It was really tiring to consciously have that much sex but that agreement helped us not to get too stressed about it.
J
try this tool http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-know-when-youre-ovulating_10334238.bc
my sister got pregnant after she followed the tips. i told me she followed the conception date to chart. sorry i don't exactly know which tool but take a look at this page where they tell you, good to check out other tips that assist
best, hope to hear good news soon!
tammy
I even went to the gynea a few months ago just to see if all is ok or I wasn't ovulating. And he scanned my ovaries and said that was the actual day of my ovulation and a 25mm (I cant rememeber exact size) egg was abt to be released ! Ack.. so since then, I decided OPKs don't work for me (maybe my pee is always too diluted, and also I pee several times a night so first morning urine also not tht concentrated for HPTs maybe?)
Charting has always shown clearly my ovulations.
I started like more than 2 months ago, even before my husband agreed to TTC. Lol... that's how gan chong spider I am.
I like it, it has made my cycles more regular
But I will go see what other tips they have
thanks so much :)
Try to take it easy Holly. And keep a cheerful mindset.
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~
Well, I am now 8.5 months pregnant and I got pregnant in the second month of trying. I too initially thought that it'll take much longer than that - i thought, up to a year for sure. So I was a bit kan cheong. When I got pregnant, I was like, oh so fast ah. Crap! We're having a baby!
I think if its all systems go, most couples conceive within several months.
Try not to worry too much - although I know its hard. I remember feeling really sad when my period came the first time we tried. I can see how trying for long periods of time can be really stressful on the relationship though. So you need to pace yourself and manage your expectations.
Hopefully sex doesnt become a chore. And if every month you do it on the right now - what more can you do right? If you're pregnant, you're pregnant. If not there's next month.
But good luck! Might be easier than you think - our bodies are naturally trying to get pregnant, so dont you worry.
Take care!
i read that tracking sometimes is not as accurate as having to check your discharge being transparent like the egg white before cooking (okay might sounds gross) but it did kind of help me check and do around that period. I tried temperature checking and all but its not as accurate with what your body tells you. And maybe you can try chinese physician. I do agree, sometimes when you just stop thinking about it and just do and enjoy, it happens. Well that was the case for me. Good Luck!
If it fails, there's always next month.. but A month is such a long wait though
hugs.
baby dust to all of us.
But it has always been like tht .. even before trying to conceive. I guess his drive is just a lot lower than mine. Which worries me because a few times having sex makes the odds of getting pregnant much lower compared to sex every other day.
I have a tip (I'm a medical student who keeps abreast of healthcare advice and new developments) for TTC couples: browse for things like 'softcup' and 'conception caps'. These are little caps you can place in your vagina after sex and they 'trap' sperm and often make conception more likely. The other thing is definitely invest in ovulation sticks because they help keep track of your fertility. Good luck!
any luck so far with baby making? Am trying for a baby now myself and it's been oh so stressful!
I really hope you and I will be successful in our attempts soon! I am so going to watch this space for good news! Good luck to all of us who are trying!
We started same time but it's only been 4 completed cycles for me!!! Just in middle of 5th cycle (cd11 and I bloody ovulated much earlier than expected, cheebye!! Which means I didn't get to hv sex before ovulation only once on the day of). Not optimistic.
And my cycles are so long, abt 36days so I have to wait long time for each chance. Except this month with the fluke extra early ovulation